Livestrong, Die Hard

On my ongoing weight-loss journey, I am learning so much.  In case you didn’t realize it, there are a lot of diet / exercise trends out there.  Some of them we can look back on and laugh now.  Some of them we will look back on and laugh later.  You know, if they don’t kill us first.

Some friends of mine use the Livestrong website.  Livestrong was started by Lance Armstrong (get it?), the cyclist who won the Tour de France several times and pissed off a bunch of French people.  So a total win for the U.S. there, except that recently they finally caught him drugging and he sort of lost all his titles and stuff.  Whatever your opinion on the guy, I have to give him credit because there are NO drugs that could make me cycle more than a few blocks without falling over, much less that many miles.

You're not actually gonna make me ride with her, are you?

You’re not actually gonna make me ride with her, are you?

Anyway, there’s a calorie counter on this site called MyPlate and you can enter your height and weight and how much you want to lose per week and it calculates how many calories you get.  Then you can enter in every morsel you eat and it goes POP and shows the calories.  It also takes these calories away from the total number of calories you get for the day.  I think you can already see where the problem here is.  At first, I had all these calories left over and was like, wow, and I even had a milkshake.  This is GREAT.  Then I realized that I had put in that I wanted to gain 1.5 pounds a week instead of losing 1.5 pounds.  Whoops.

Calorie Counter From Hell

Calorie Counter From Hell

So the next day I fixed it; and things changed, my friends, and not for the better.  I realized I had eaten almost half of my calories for the day and I hadn’t made it to lunch yet.  And I didn’t have any freaking pancakes, either.  We’re talking Raisin Bran and skim milk and some freaking fruit and stuff.  But you do get an out.  If you exercise, you can burn some calories, so you get some of your “points” back that way.  One problem with this.  You have to do a LOT of exercise.  None of that “stand up” stuff for Lance.  So I’m thinking I’m not quite ready for MyPlate yet.  I went back to Superbetter.  It’s kind of like going from Jeopardy to Wheel of Fortune.  Suddenly I’m a genius again!

I'd like to buy a vowel . . . a C!

I’d like to buy a vowel . . . a C!

Superbetter says “add fiber” so I add some fiber.  There are actually some tasty things with fiber.  I don’t recommend All-Bran, though, unless you like eating twigs.  My favorite fiber thing is a Bran muffin. I know, I’m not 80, but I think those things are seriously yummy. The thing about fiber is that it fills you up better, so the idea is that you won’t eat as much.  The idea is anyway.  It’s a great idea.  It might even be working a little.

Hint: Your cereal should not resemble twigs.

Hint: Your cereal should not resemble twigs.

Superbetter says “add a veggie”, so I try to remember to throw one in my meal.  One thing I figured out was that the Evil Empire Wal-Marticus has these single servings of green beans you can carry with you.  This is nice for when you don’t have time (or energy) to make a whole pot of them, most of which you will put in the fridge as leftovers and forget about until they achieve sentience.  You can also easily add them to your lunch you’re bringing to work.  And unlike some veggies, these actually taste pretty good.  This is my opinion, of course, because I don’t care for most vegetables.  Unless they are coated in cheese or have bacon added to them.  Which tends to negate some of the nutritional aspect there.

I WOULD like to bite the heads off of some of these guys.

I would like to bite the heads off of some of these guys.

So that’s my adventures in nutrition for now.  But what about exercise?  Well, I know I’m going to have to do more than just standing, even with Superbetter.  Just the other day, I finally dragged my butt to the gym.  This gym is open 24 hours a day and is located a block from my house, so talk about a huge hurtle getting there.  I will tell you about the gym, and some other fun new exercise techniques in future posts.  Think Goofy on those old Disney cartoons and you’ll be pretty close.

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43 responses

  1. It’s truly frightening isn’t it, how far you have to jog just to burn off one biscuit!!
    5 miles for a Snickers?!?! Mother f… :D

    1. Yeah! And snickers are totally good for you. They have fiber and protein for realz!

      1. Damn straight – I wouldn’t put any other chocolate bar up my …. Whoa! This isn’t chocoperv.com any more is it… gotta watch my browser windows!!

        1. And here I thought you guys only ate bamboo. I bet there’s a site for people who do strange things with bamboo. Chocolate covered bamboo. Wait . . . oh, ew, I grossed myself out.

    2. I wonder how many miles it would add if it were bacon wrapped snickers?

      1. Bacon should never count. Bacon is essential to survival, I think. Bacon!

  2. Gah! Calorie counting, get it away, get it AWAY!!
    I’m sorry to say that I bought All Bran once. I cannot even begin to tell you how disgusting it is.

    1. I ate some once. Like eating cardboard. And yes, calorie counting is of the DEVIL.

  3. The trick with My Plate is watching portion sizes. Also, child care, wii games that make you move, climbing stairs, tracking your walk from car in to work…
    That fiber thing doesn’t work for me because it doesn’t help regulate my blood sugar. If I don’t want to be hungry again in 15 minutes, I need fast and protein, not simply fiber.

    1. Yeah, it doesn’t give you any real measurements for those things that I could tell. And anyway, I can’t keep track of every move I make. There’s only so much I can hold in my head at a time and I take the stairs and walk back and forth a lot while doing other things. Luckily a lot of stuff with fiber also has protein, or I get it some other way. Like cheese stick and an apple. You know what happens when I don’t regulate my blood sugar. Alice SMASH.

  4. I have some chi spice oatmeal with flax and some plum something oatmeal. I will donate it to your cause… I think we should try the paleo diet. Think of the potential! Our spouses will freak out. Our children’s specialists will think we are fab and our children w autism will stop speaking to us. I am thinking this is a win- unless of course one of them ends up in icu for starving to death cuz no little debbies…

    1. That sounds . . . delightful. What the hell is the paleo diet? Do we become dinosaurs? I think Thing One for certain would starve to death without Little Debbies and Spaghettios.

      1. Paleo diets are based on a simple premise—if the cavemen didn’t eat it, you shouldn’t either. So long to refined sugar, dairy, legumes, and grains (this is pre-agricultural revolution); hello to meat, fish, poultry, fruits, and veggies. What you eat and how much depend on your goals or the specific program you’re on, if you choose to follow one.

        Read More

        You can find most of what you need to know online, but a book makes a handy reference. The Paleo Diet, for example, outlines basic Paleo principles and offers three “levels” that allow for different degrees of cheating—three “open meals” per week on the “entry level” plan, two on “maintenance,” and just one on “maximal.” Depending on the level, you might also get “transitional” condiments (low-fat dressing and salsa) and drinks (coffee, beer, or wine in moderation) to wash down the meat and plants. You can use the levels as you like. Start with the first and move gradually to the more restrictive—or just stay put. For more dramatic changes, head right to the third.

        I like the wine exception- my grandmother would be proud….

        excerpt from: http://health.usnews.com/best-diet/paleo-diet

        1. Goodby to sugar? Noooooooooooo.

  5. I can’t do math so calorie counting and weighing myself are out of the question. Gym, outdoor exercise, cooking over microwaving, more veggies and fruits and the occasional bag of M&Ms and I am good. I’ll step on a scale when my body is where I want it and only so I know what I need to maintain and looks healthy on my petite frame. They didn’t have scales back in the day so why frustrate myself over a number instead of focusing on my health?

    1. Makes sense to me. I can’t even tell if I’ve really lost weight because I used to weigh myself all the time and had one weight and now I just do it in the morning and there’s another weight, and there’s that five pound differential over the day and arghhh. Maybe I should go back to my “fits into her pants” measurement instead. Except that doesn’t account for bloating.

      Scales are of the DEVIL too.

  6. I have a Livestrong app on my phone, but I don’t use it like I should. But it’s a nice way to keep track of your intake and output calorie-wise. I’ve heard of another one called ‘My Fitness Pal’ that I want to look into. I wish you continued luck in your journey!

    1. I know several people at work that use that Fitness Pal app. I don’t have a smart phone. I do have a Nook. Maybe it has something like that.

      1. I just downloaded My Fitness Pal app. We’ll see if it ever gets opened…

  7. Lol, I remember when I downloaded the apps. I had like 5 at different times, and I follow the writing down each bite thing maybe a week at the max, then forget all about it. What I do now is, throw in a cucumber or carrots with every meal. There’e like 3 calories per cucumber and mayne 21 per 2 carrots? Plus the fiber, woot woot!

    1. Yeah, I don’t see how anyone can keep it going that long. It makes me too damn anxious to think about what I ate every minute.

      1. seriously. plus when you’re running around at work and grabbing whatever you can in lunch break, you don’t really make writing it all down a priority either!

  8. The soda-nazi was here.

    1. Hee hee. I have actually gone entire days without caffeine but today I caved and had some because I am about to fall asleep (this was after a bunch of water and walking around). But at least it was diet. Oh, nooos I will die from the aspartame! I should just drink air. I think. Oh, hey, how are you today, TAE?

      1. Lol…I’m crafting myself into a stiff neck, but I’m well. Sodafree…as always (now that sounds like something that needs prescription).

        1. I wonder if they have patches, you know like the NIcotine ones.

  9. This is great. Calorie counting scares me. I have outright refused to do it for my doctor in the past, because me calorie counting equals me becoming frighteningly obsessive which spirals into greater anxiety and more intense calorie obsessions. I am blessed to have never dealt with an eating disorder, and I’m not saying this could bring on something like anorexia for me, but it would definitely end with both my mind and my eating disordered.

    Anyway, good for you! You rock that Superbetter thingy!

    1. I honestly have the same worries, Ruby. Since I have both anxiety and obsessive tendencies, this could be a recipe for disaster. I know it works for some, but for me I’d just be worried about eating and obsess about overeating and feel guilty and then . . . spiral. I am totally rockin’ the Superbetter thingy. You should try it. It has stuff for the mentals too (I’m also doing some of that along with the weight loss)

      1. Stuff for the mentals, hmm. . . Sounds like it could be an excellent Canvas post. . . ;)

  10. Keep it up, Alice! I would have a difficult time counting calories. I’ve never been good at that kind of thing. I would rather just add the fiber and get to exercising. You can do it!! Don’t give up! There’s me cheering for you.

    1. With a Bumble cheering, how can I go wrong? Not giving up, too stubborn. Ready to kick that scale to the curb with the calorie counting though!

  11. My mom used the Livestrong site. But kind of not really… we’ve been going to a personal trainer in our town (that’s our mom/daughter time). She’s lost 45 pounds! And as my mom would say, if she can do it, you can! (It’s helping her defend being a packrat though – she’s finally fitting into clothes she hasn’t worn since she had my brother 28 years ago, so she says that, “It’s good I kept them. Right, right?!”)

    Can’t wait to hear about the gym! :)

    1. A personal trainer sounds great. They have some at the gym where I go. I might get one session from them to at least learn how to use some of the weight equipment without killing myself. Mostly I just walk on the treadmill there.

      Way to go to your mom! I LOVE the packrat thing. My mother would be exactly the same way. Lol.

      1. Going to learn to use equipment is a Great idea! They can also teach you stuff you could do without equipment. We do a lot of different kinds of crutches and squats – kinds that I never would’ve realized on my own!

  12. Is it really sad that I love the Veggies? I once had a Veggie Bob bible cover (without his nose – it had been returned by a customer as his nose had fallen off).

    I’m also really odd in that I genuinely like All Bran.

    I guess I’ll be getting my coat about now…

    1. Okay, I admit that I kind of liked some of that cucumber’s songs. They were goofy and had little to do with didactic preaching at you. And occasionally they’d do something like Omelet (instead of Hamlet) that adults would get but kids wouldn’t. And those damn songs could get stuck in your head. “Oh, no, what we gonna do? The king likes Daniel more than me and you.” (arrghhh)

      I don’t care for All-Bran, but would totally nom nom the muffins made from it. No need to get your coat. :D

      1. I think there’s an optimum age for “getting” the Veggies. You either have to be a tiny little kid, or an adult who’s in touch with their inner tiny little kid. I first met Veggie Tales when in my late teens, and was rather scared by The Grapes of Wrath zooming around in their car being all, well, wrathful (in admittedly a very tuneful fashion).

  13. Yay! You’re doing great :)

    You know what I love about the gym? Walking really slow on the treadmill and reading an honest-to-goodness book. It makes me feel virtuous in two ways. Highly recommend it!

    1. Especially if you’re reading War and Peace. You might be on the treadmill a little too long that way, though!

  14. HIIT (high intensity interval training) is a great way to lose weight. When they tell you that it takes walking 2 miles to burn off 4 Smarties, no one in their right mind is going to do that. They are going to eat the whole box, and then watch some TV.

    Finding something that works for you is 90% of the challenge. You’re doing great.

    1. Thanks. Working on it. One step forward, two back. :D

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