And that is why I get nothing done.

My family went away last weekend.  They left Saturday morning.  I was hoping to use this time to write on my book.  Here is what I had gotten done by Saturday evening.

  1. I woke up at around 8:00 and ate breakfast and said bye to family and sat at the computer and did facebook and checked my wordpress and responded to some comments and obsessively stared at my stats.  Also I emailed.
  2. I went back to bed.  Woke up again at about 11:30.  I ate leftover pizza.  I messed around on the Internet a bit more.  I searched Google Images, which is scary, in order to find pictures to represent my interviews of fictional people, which was better than the night before when I spent about half an hour trying to find the sexiest picture of Commander Riker from Star Trek.  I went back to bed.
  3. I woke up again about 3:30.  I got on the Internet. 

No I’m not.

You may be seeing a pattern here.  I have a problem with the Internet.  I’m not sure, though, that I have an actual Internet addiction.  You see, I took a quiz – on the Internet – a while back and it said probably I had a problem, because I took the quiz in the first place, but really, I think the problem is something else.  I call it insomnia + medication + lazy.  Also, we recently bought a new bed.

Not this one. I just think it’s awesome.

For thirteen years, my husband and I had been sleeping on a bed that was handed down to us by someone who had slept on it for at least thirteen years as well meaning the dust mite population was probably up to 5 billion by that point.  Also, it was rather uncomfortable.  This mattress was made when manufacturers thought it would be the height of comfort to put buttons all over the top.  My husband started sleeping on the couch and bringing cushions and blankets and leaving them on the couch all day which kind of annoyed me because that is not the Better Homes and Gardens look and I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart hates me.

So we decided to buy a new mattress with our tax return money.  We didn’t realize, though, how much they charge for mattresses.  They apparently are made from gold thread spun by Rumplestiltskin.  So we went to a few stores and we laid on this bed, and then that bed, and then another bed.  One bed was too hard, and one was too soft, and one was just right but cost a million dollars.  Finally, we tried a mattress at one store that had one of those padding things added to the top and it was gushy but there was this problem that we were too close together.  I couldn’t believe this was a queen mattress.  I informed the mattress store people that we’d been married over ten years and really didn’t want to be that close to each other anymore.  They thought it was funny, and then they realized I wasn’t actually kidding.  I don’t like touching people when I sleep.  I like a no touch zone during sleepy times. And I’ve touched hubby a lot by now so that’s kind of old hat.

Too hard, too soft, too freaking expensive.
Also they all have bears in them.

So we went with the king mattress.  It’s huge and fills up a large part of our bedroom.  The kids loved it and so I had to buy them a real trampoline.  They still use it.  But so do my husband and me.  I can’t even tell my husband’s in it with me.  We call to each other from either side of the mattress.  And it is major comfy – maybe a little too comfy.  Because I like to sleep on it.  A whole bunch.

So I got a new mattress.  And I have a computer.  And that is why I get nothing done.

13 responses

  1. Ha! I remember doing that years ago, but we were going from a full bed to a queen so the queen bed felt huge. Now, it feels not quite big enough…

    (Plus, we’ve been married ten years this month.)

    1. Congrats on not killing each other! It’s been 13 for us. That seems unreal since I often feel 13 (maturity wise).

  2. So much I can relate to in this post. We bought a new mattress about a year ago, and they are ridiculously expensive. The shopping trips are hilarious too…I felt like Goldilocks lying on all the beds and trying to find just the right one.
    I’m with you on not wanting to touch while sleeping. My husband and I even use seperate blankets 🙂
    I also have a problem with the internet.
    Funny post!

    1. My husband has actually suggested separate blankets. He’s such a baby when I take his. I wouldn’t if he’d shut up the snoring. That’s the annoying thing with the big bed – have to scoot over to kick him when he does that.

      Ah, love. 😀

  3. Alice,
    How wonderful is this! You can now browse the internet while lying in a brand new bed!
    Le Clown

    1. I’ll just need to grab my precious – that’s my laptop – and I’m all set. Except I don’t type very well laying down. Damn.

  4. Man, do I hear this! Enjoy the king-sized bed—it will change your life. We have one, and I LOVE IT. Although with two people and 3 cats, sometimes it’s still too small. I kind of wish our bedroom was big enough to shove two king-size mattresses together. As for the Internet time suck, you described pretty much every one of my weekends.

    1. Glad I’m not alone! It’s bad when you try to figure out how to quit so the first thing you think of is to look it up on the Internet. You’d be amazed how much of that stuff is on there. Lol.

  5. Mattresses and computers. I think you have been reading too much 50 Shades

    1. Hahahaha! Good one. Yes I have.

  6. I am with you. On many things, actually, but mainly I’m speaking of the need for king-sized and the love of hamburger beds.

    1. Yes. I think that bed would be so cool – as long as there was no secret sauce on it.

      I was just thinking the other day I’ve read too much of that damn book.

  7. We started our marriage with a king. Now we need a new mattress. There needs to be an emperor size.

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