50 Shades Contest Results: So far

You might have wondered if I was actually keeping up with your responses or if I was just going to say screw it and just give you a random grade (I don’t know any teachers that do this).  I’m not as talented as some people who have way too many clown noses lying around (wait, those were clown noses, right?) who can magically place them in every post despite there being like 5,000 posts.  I have slightly less than this and still didn’t do it.  But don’t despair!  I have test results.  Some of you may be held back.  On the plus side, you get to keep your same desk.

So far:

Questions for Chapter One and Two:

I had 10 bloggers comment on chapter 1 and 8 on chapter 2.  You all get complimentary happy faces for that one, I just decided, cause I love comments.  Some of you guessed right.  Some of you guessed wrong.  Some of you guessed the most violent answers out of pure spite, which I admire.  And of course some of you have, I’m so sorry, actually read these books and have pointed out your unfair – oh so unfair – advantage as far as knowing what happened in the the book.  Then again, I’m not sure if I could correctly answer anything from the first two books and I know I read those.  So who knows.

So  1 happy face for everybody.  Along with the added happy or frowny for each question depending on if you got it right or wrong.   (I would say I’m going to check, but yeah right, so whatever you do doooon’t cheat because . . . what am I saying, cheat all you want.)  Either way you can wear these faces with pride, because even if an answer’s wrong, there’s still a chance it could have happened in the book because these books suck so bad I wouldn’t be surprised if the Titanic suddenly surfaces in one.  Also, I think there should be multiple Alicebling prizes for various inane things, like most violent response, responses that made Alice laughhh, etc as I think of them.  Everyone can be winner!  Unlike that damn monopoly game at McDonalds because that freaking clown cheats.  Here are our current contestants.

Speaker7

Carrie Rubin

Lesbiannextdoor

Lovelifelaundry

MissFourEyes

Storkhunter

SueOctober

Madame Weebles

Angel Fractured

Ravinj

Womanmdsguide

Ruby Tuesday

It is not too late to enter, you guyz!  Some of you may have and I forgot to stick you on this list because Alice is hard of thinking – just let her know.  This is a really cool contest.  There are prizes, I swear, as soon as I figure out what they are. Also you ALL win a place on my blog roll just for showing up (most of you are probably already there unless I haven’t remembered to add you, which is also possible.)  This is impressive because I am a very hot commodity and like millions of people see my blog everyday and I would never lie to you guyz, my friends.

I have decided to go to one 50 Shades recap a week because it is the most my brain can stand.  Speaker 7 had her reasons for making her recaps come slower and slower.  She was trying to maintain brain cells.  I think they do regenerate, but it takes time people, and also reading actual real literature and watching a lot of PBS.  Tough therapy there.  So good luck to you all, and may the odds be evah in your favor, and all that crap.

Alice

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18 responses

  1. True, we have an unfair advantage that we have read the book … then again, we have the unfair disadvantage that we have read the book! We should totes get prizes for that alone.

    1. So completely agree. Maybe Alice will make us fancy ribbons like hers, just a bit modified, for having survived the books even if we didn’t blog about the pain.

      hint, hint

      1. Fancy ribbons are cool! Madame Weebles made me that one. I will have to ask her for her secrets and stuff.

    2. Good point. And good idea. Totes prizes for having suffered alone thanks to Storkhunter!

    3. Yes, absolutely! We have the unfair disadvantage that we have read the book!

  2. I feel so special that I was included! Maybe this dark, damaging cloud of books has a silver lining after all. Who’d a thunk it?

    1. Every buttplug has a silver lining, or so I here. And you are special, Ruby. 😀

      1. HEAR, damnit. That . . . book.

  3. I gather from your post that I have read these books. Is that true? I don’t think I have. I have a distant memories of disintegrating panties and jet skis, but I’ve been drinking a lot of Robitussin so I’m blaming them on that.

    1. I think those books infected your tonsils and my lungs. It’s a freaking PLAGUE. Maybe if you drink enough Robitussin you can fully forget both the books and your tonsils.

  4. Thank you! I’m still figuring out this blogging stuff. I need a how-to on some of it, such as setting up a blogroll (do I need to do anything besides follow?), and where bling goes when I get some. Maybe we can chat later?

    1. I think wordpress has a how-to video, but it was, like, long so I didn’t watch it all. I just stumbled around on it – come to think of it, I’m still stumbling around on it. The blogroll thing is under Appearance and Widgets on this menu somewhere and so is the image adder thingy. That makes tons of sense, I know. Yes, we must chat later.

  5. I’m in a contest? Really? I wasn’t even aware. But now that I am–game on, game on. 😉

    1. I wasn’t totally sure either, and I’m running it. Game on!

  6. Can I be in your contest? I am sorta lazy, and probably won’t do anything you ask me to do… but I’m also feeling left out. I will make you contest bling if you like since I can’t really think of anything else. (Or sleep, but that is another story…)

    1. Yes, please! I’m lazy too, so I’m not going to check that you did anything I asked you to do, so that works out great! And yes, contest bling would be awesome! I’m still figuring out that stuff.

  7. Yay, a contest! Sounds fun! I’m in for the prizes (and because I read those dreadful books and might as well put my remaining brain cells to good use)

    1. Yes, we definitely deserve prizes. You know what’s almost as bad as reading the books? Reading the positive reviews. Sometimes I think it’s James using 5,000 different accounts. Even though I know there are some who truly think they liked it. Just. . . can’t . . . wrap . . . mind . . . around . . .

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