Alice’s Inspiring Movember Post (must see)

Okay, I promised you guys an inspirational Movember post.  Actually, I said I was going to put a mustache on a turkey.  That’s not true.  I have instead put a mustache AND a goatee on a pumpkin that was formerly wearing underwear.

I go above and beyond for you guyz.

But I feel like I should say something more, because this is about awareness of Prostate Cancer in men.  I’m pretty sure.  Go to Le Clown’s to learn more about Movember and how to give him money.  For the cause.  Or so he says.

I do know that Prostate Cancer is bad.  And it involves the prostate.  Which is on a man.

Am I making light of Cancer?  Not at all.  I’m only bringing awareness to something that I don’t know much about, so I think people should educate themselves.  Including me.  I mean, it’s sort of like when we invaded Iraq.  Most Americans not only couldn’t find Iraq on a map before the war; they didn’t even know it existed.

Likewise, how many of us think about stuff like Cancer unless either we or a friend or relative is currently suffering from it?  We don’t, or we try not to, maybe in the vain hope that by ignoring something, we won’t suffer it.   We can go back to watching Reality T.V.  Except maybe not “Monsters Inside Me” cause man, that will really freak you out.  People get the plague on that show.

Wait, where was I?  Anyway, there is another problem about this particular type of Cancer.  It’s a manly Cancer, and I’m not sure if you realize this, but men tend to not want to go to the doctor.  At least most of the ones I know don’t.  My father is 70.  He about hacked up a lung last year before he finally went to the doctor and found out he had Pneumonia (it’s a family thing).  Even then, he didn’t go to the hospital.  He took oxygen at home.  MANLY.

Okay, so not only have we got guys who don’t want to go to the doctor even for a regular checkup, we’ve got guys who have a problem with something that, as Ana Steele would say, is “down there”.   This penis is a very important thing to a guy.  It’s like his little friend.  It’s personal.  Yes, I realize the prostate is a gland located back behind the penis (because I just now looked it up on WebMd), but you just don’t talk about there being weird things with or around your package.  Or so I’ve heard.  People have been messing with my “down there” for years, but men don’t generally get the privilege of these types of exams until they are much older.  And then, shhh don’t tell anybody, they are big freaking babies about it.

I can now find the prostate on a map. Unlike Iraq.
photo from WebMd

I guess it’s hard to blame them.  The idea of a glove in that particular area is not appealing to anyone.  But it’s necessary.  So here’s the deal.  If you’re a man, be a man.  Get regular checkups of your prostate (and the rest of you).  And if there’s a problem, something weird is up down there, say something.  Don’t wait around and hope it goes away.  Go to the doctor.  If it’s nothing, you can breathe a sigh of relief and eat your lollipop.  If it’s something, you can get it treated early.  Because I’ll tell you what doesn’t feel manly.  Dying of Cancer.

So get yourself checked out, so you can continue to be checked out, by whoever you want to check you out.  If you get me, which I don’t.  And grow a mustache.  Movember.

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30 responses

  1. Alice,
    Sometimes, it’s as if you are visited by the Mad Hatter and his creative awesomeness. I am sharing this post today on our Bloggers for Movember Facebook page.
    Le Clown

    1. Le Clown,
      The Mad Hatter (ie Johnny Depp) and I are tight. Very tight. Thank you for sharing my post. I hope it gets men thinking about their private parts. More than they already do, that is.
      Alice

  2. Ah Alice, Le Clown is right you have your Mad Hatter Hat on today (mmmm Johnny Depp) well said…tell those men! Get to the docs and let them fiddle with your bits…you never know you might enjoy it 😉 well….maybe not but the other option is much worse.

    1. Yes, Johnny Depp. I would like to fiddle with his . . . nevermind. But I have one question – why does he always make himself look as weird as possible in movies (except that Don Juan one he did – oh wow)? Embrace your hotnness, Johnny!

      1. oh and don’t forget Chocolat mmmmm Johnny and chocolate…*shakes head to clear it* I don’t know, I like the weird and wonderful characters he goes for hehe but then I love Tim Burtons twisted mind 🙂

        1. Did you see Dark Shadows? He was HILARIOUS in that one. Loved it.

          1. Ohhh nope not seen it yet never made it to the cinema when it was on! Will have to amazon it 😛

  3. Men can be such babies sometimes!
    P.S. Love your pumpkin, even if he isn’t wearing any underwear

    1. Pretty sweet, huh? Thing Two drew the face, of course, but I got the mustache and goatee 50 off at Hastings and smacked them on and took a picture. She was not impressed w/ what I’d done to her pumpkin – so she peeled the stuff off and put it on – wait for it – another pumpkin that she then decorated all over again. Okay.

  4. My dad is like your dad – he’ll cough up all entire insides before he’ll go see “some quack.” Hubby is like a whiny little boy when he’s sick, just one sniffle and he’s running to the doctor, “look I have a boo boo”. Perhaps I’m not giving him enough attention or maybe I should stop stealing his lollies.

  5. I tried to comment on this post while I was waiting in line to vote this morning, but my phone wouldn’t cooperate. I don’t really remember what I typed out. Just suffice it to say I’m working on that mustache thing…

    1. Glad you voted. I actually managed to do early voting this time. So much easier. Knowing my luck I’m probably working on a mustache too, or will before long. Maybe I’ll just stick the fake stuff on my face and be done with it.

  6. I have opted for a full beard and moustache as i am one crazy facial hair kind of guy. The thought of internal exams will, I’m sure appeal to some people but I think I will quite happily wait for ten years until I’m forth before that sort of invasion has to occur.

    1. Like I said, men are babies. (I’m kidding here.) I’d rather have the exams, but then both my grandmothers died of reproductive cancers (uterine and ovarian) so I like to be careful. Also, women really are used to it – they start with us at like 18 (or when first sexually active).

      1. We are a bit pathetic as a sex, just witness one of us with a cold. I shall let women take the hit for the examinations and we men shall stick to the heavy lifting in life.

        1. Ha! I work in the library and we are always looking around for any of the 3 men (wow) out of the entire staff to help with moving stuff. We have to do a lot of heavy lifting – usually the men are very nice and offer to help.

      2. I’m like you Alice, my mom had cancer (both uterine and breast) so I started getting exams early. And one thing I gotta say for guys: I don’t think that there’s ever make them start bleeding or give them massive cramps which can happen to girls if the docs aren’t gentle!

  7. I was sitting at Starbucks when I read this, and imagine the surprise of the person next to me when they looked over and saw a penis. That’s what Movember is all about.

    1. Amen, sister. You should check out Tracy’s blog post – laughed my ass off. There’s one that sticks to a wall.

  8. Hello Alice, what a smashing first impression. I nip over to your shores via Speaker 7 to find an anatomical wang staring me in the face, so to speak. Pleased to meet you.

    1. And I you! I figured dirty pics would really bring the people in.

    2. Of course w/ the 50 Shades reviews, you wouldn’t believe the search terms I get anyway.

  9. Although I laughed hysterically, I hear men do NOT like it referred to as their “little” friend. Actually, between you and me, I’m still chuckling, and I first read this post three days ago…

    Am I the only one who loves that show? I’m not much for reality TV, but shows like Monsters Inside Me and Locked Up Abroad just fascinate me.

    1. It’s a horrifying show and I cannot look away. I figure I’d best be prepared in case I catch the Bubonic Plague.

  10. Oh, and your Twitter handle is @Aliceawonderlan.

    1. Yay. Now I just gotta get over there and change my password . . . squirrel!

  11. […] have masterfully covered the need for prostate screens and the challenges of mental health disease (Aliceatwonderland,  Curmudgeon at Large, I Mayfly, Legionwriter). Some have even showcased mustache variants […]

  12. […] Alice’s Inspiring Movember Post (12/11/06) – There’s a picture of male anatomy and a pumpkin with a mustache. […]

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