Alice’s Inspiring Movember Post (must see)

Okay, I promised you guys an inspirational Movember post.  Actually, I said I was going to put a mustache on a turkey.  That’s not true.  I have instead put a mustache AND a goatee on a pumpkin that was formerly wearing underwear.

I go above and beyond for you guyz.

But I feel like I should say something more, because this is about awareness of Prostate Cancer in men.  I’m pretty sure.  Go to Le Clown’s to learn more about Movember and how to give him money.  For the cause.  Or so he says.

I do know that Prostate Cancer is bad.  And it involves the prostate.  Which is on a man.

Am I making light of Cancer?  Not at all.  I’m only bringing awareness to something that I don’t know much about, so I think people should educate themselves.  Including me.  I mean, it’s sort of like when we invaded Iraq.  Most Americans not only couldn’t find Iraq on a map before the war; they didn’t even know it existed.

Likewise, how many of us think about stuff like Cancer unless either we or a friend or relative is currently suffering from it?  We don’t, or we try not to, maybe in the vain hope that by ignoring something, we won’t suffer it.   We can go back to watching Reality T.V.  Except maybe not “Monsters Inside Me” cause man, that will really freak you out.  People get the plague on that show.

Wait, where was I?  Anyway, there is another problem about this particular type of Cancer.  It’s a manly Cancer, and I’m not sure if you realize this, but men tend to not want to go to the doctor.  At least most of the ones I know don’t.  My father is 70.  He about hacked up a lung last year before he finally went to the doctor and found out he had Pneumonia (it’s a family thing).  Even then, he didn’t go to the hospital.  He took oxygen at home.  MANLY.

Okay, so not only have we got guys who don’t want to go to the doctor even for a regular checkup, we’ve got guys who have a problem with something that, as Ana Steele would say, is “down there”.   This penis is a very important thing to a guy.  It’s like his little friend.  It’s personal.  Yes, I realize the prostate is a gland located back behind the penis (because I just now looked it up on WebMd), but you just don’t talk about there being weird things with or around your package.  Or so I’ve heard.  People have been messing with my “down there” for years, but men don’t generally get the privilege of these types of exams until they are much older.  And then, shhh don’t tell anybody, they are big freaking babies about it.

I can now find the prostate on a map. Unlike Iraq.
photo from WebMd

I guess it’s hard to blame them.  The idea of a glove in that particular area is not appealing to anyone.  But it’s necessary.  So here’s the deal.  If you’re a man, be a man.  Get regular checkups of your prostate (and the rest of you).  And if there’s a problem, something weird is up down there, say something.  Don’t wait around and hope it goes away.  Go to the doctor.  If it’s nothing, you can breathe a sigh of relief and eat your lollipop.  If it’s something, you can get it treated early.  Because I’ll tell you what doesn’t feel manly.  Dying of Cancer.

So get yourself checked out, so you can continue to be checked out, by whoever you want to check you out.  If you get me, which I don’t.  And grow a mustache.  Movember.