Guess what? I just figured out that this whole write a post in November thing is not an original idea thought up by Jen that was then copied by Speaker which was then copied by me (and several others). Turns out that WordPress is talking about it like it’s some sort of thing, like, you know, my idea of writing a novel in a month or whatever. Good thing that’s not taken.
They’re calling it NaBloPoMo which is not nearly as cool as Honey Boo Boo whatsit or Blogvemberfester, or whatever our name was. NaBloPoMo sounds like the sound I make when I eat too much Taco Bell and have to go throw up.
Well, now I’m just bummed, because here I thought Jen (of Jen and Tonic!) had this fabulous idea and like, she and Speaker (of Speaker7!) and I were sort of The Three Musketeers. Not the candy bar, the three guys with the matching smocks and the swords. Only we’d be the three gals and have way better fashion sense. But now that’s all gone to hell. Thanks a lot, WordPress, for ruining what was left of my innocence after 50 Shades destroyed 95 percent of my soul.
But all is not lost. You see, WordPress and . . . wtf, BlogHer is doing this too? What? We’re in with the mommy bloggers? Crap in a hat, guys. Nevermind. We are still original here, because most of these people have rules and stuff for their blog challenges. Like that there should be real posts or something. At least I’m guessing that because WordPress is a pain like that. You know, like don’t try to bait us to your blog by putting the crappy challenge du jour in your tags. Killjoys.
But we laugh in the face of rules. We say “vagina” and call senators “turdface”. We write posts without pictures of food or recipes for cookies. We put little balloons over photos and have politicians tell everyone they’re tools. We explain why people are stupid and vote stupidly (not that I’m saying how you should vote or anything but for crying out loud not Republican). We put squirrels in our posts. We review idiot books about buttplugs. This is edgy stuff, guys.
That’s right, WordPress. We’re a team. Well, except I don’t have my blue sticker yet. I just thought I’d point that out, since you seem to have not noticed my blog out of the bazillions of other blogs. Sad Pony is sad about this. He told me I should put a My Little Pony horsehead™ in your inbox. He’s been through a lot, sorry.
Anyway, there was a point here. I forget. Crap. Look at that! Squirrel!