Alice’s Press Release Blurbs

My readers have responded that I might have real deranged blurbs along with my imaginary deranged ones!   Thanks, guys!  Alice feels the LOVE.

“Dear Alice, you’re funny, and stuff. May you get these words tattooed on your left arm”.

Le Clown

“I’m so fracking jealous that sad pony commented on Alice’s blog. I want a sad pony comment….okay, right, this is not about me…so yeah, I like Alice’s blog lots and lots like sad-pony lots.”

Speaker 7

“I heard E. L James refer to your blog as ‘a spanking good read’ and don’t forget what Shakespeare said, ‘ Forsooth yon maid dost write with inflection and wit, prithee all should gaze on the visage of her blog.”


“Miss Four Eyes thinks Alice is hilarious. Alice is one of the bravest people Four Eyes knows for reading and blogging about butt plugs. And Alice has the best squirrel on the whole blogosphere! Four Eyes has also contracted the third person disease from Alice, who caught it from Le Clown, who ripped off Elmo. Elmo’s world theme song is now stuck in Four Eyes’s head.”

Miss Four Eyes

“Well, if Oprah likes Alice’s blog, then Jillian can’t not like it (sorry – the double negative kind of fell in there…). Because Oprah rules the world, and we all know it.”
Also, the amount of hilarity in your blog posts brings joy and happiness to my life! =D”

GiggsMcGill Jill

“Alice never disappoints. She’s full of raucous fun and wonderment. My day is not complete without a visit to her blog. For reals.”

The Bumble Files

“Storkhunter this Alice is the most funniest and altruistic blogger ever. She reads brain-bleeding books and writes about them so others shouldn’t risk the loss of brain power. Alice also lent Stork Sad Pony for a day. Stork likes Sad Pony, but Alice needs him more.”

Stork Hunter

“Alice, you are truly wonderful! In fact, I could go as far as saying that you’re lovely, wonderful, fantastic, georgous and stuff. (It’s the “stuff” that makes this saying work, I promise.)”


“Alice alice, bo balice, banana fana, fo phallus. Me my mo malice. ALICE!
Alice, the phallus with malice.
I’m just here for the open bar.”


Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Doggy’s Style who pointed out that there is not actually a blog for lepers.  This should really be addressed.  LepersRPeople2 you know.   I am not mentioning Jen and Tonic who spoke of the dreaded clown’s camel ball on my press release blurb comment section.  Bad, Jen.  Bad, bad.

19 responses

  1. I had no idea I could sound so smart and so dumb at the same time. That is my gift to the world.

    1. And mine as well. E.L. blesses every-one.

  2. Alice, that blog is asking to be created, I’ll work on a post about it.
    Actually, would you like to contribute with a related post?
    This could be a success or the biggest failure ever, you never know.

    1. I would love to! My fingers are falling off in anticipation . . . ooops. Seriously, I need to figure out more on guest blogging and whatnot. I’d love to have people on here, and I’d love to go there. It’d be fun.

  3. A press release to die for. Employment offers will come rolling in.

    1. Yes! Probably to “gentleman’s clubs” but STILL.

  4. Oooh, you quoted me! *squee*

    You are truly Fantastic™. (If Le Clown gets Magnificent™ then you should have Fantastic™.)

    1. I knew I liked you for a reason.

  5. These should be added to your resume. Totes, for realz. Who needs qualifications when you have commendations like these?

    1. True. Much better commendations than I’d get from most of my former employers, that’s for certain. 😀

  6. I always look forward to reading your posts. I don’t always comment, but I always read them. I have therefore nominated you for the Liebster Award. You can find out more aboout it at
    I’m sorry but I have no idea how to put a link in a comment, so you’ll just have to type in my blog address

    1. Works for me. That’s a new one. More bling! Thanks. It’s good to know you still read. 😀

  7. In fairness to me, one cannot see Le Clown’s beautiful camel ball, and not be totally consumed by it.

    1. I will have to take your word for it. I wonder what Tracy is going to do with his stash hair? Build a small Le Clown?

  8. Hey, I’m in there! Now I’m famous. Hilarious! I love Sara’s. You know we know love you, Alice.

  9. Damn, I should’ve thought of saradraw’s comments. Hers are brilliant.

    1. It’s hard to beat a phallus comment.

  10. […] Alice’s Press Release Blurbs (12/11/18) – You like me!  You really like me! […]

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