Did you catch that title? It’s like Jingle Bells, only it’s Bling bells, which are so much better because I don’t want to shoot them like I do Jingle Bells after I’ve heard it for the 47th time every single day leading up to Christmas, the day of Jesus and Macy’s.
But back to bling, which has nothing to do with Christmas, of course. You see, you might not have realized this, but this is an awards post. I know, right? I was given two awards, the Brilliant Blog Award and the Liebster Award. The Brilliant Blog Award was made just for me. Yes it was. No, it does not have a picture of anything like that, you weirdos. It’s a light bulb, for my fabulous ideas. Of which I have some. Occasionally. Anyhoo, it’s from Sunny With A Chance of Armagaddeon, who I’m pretty sure I said had the absolute best blog name ever, and there should be an award for best blog name. Get to work on that, whoever makes awards out there.
And there are questions, and since I was caught by somebody for not following the rules last time (cough, scienerf, cough) I will be good and follow them to the let-ter. So here we go.
- Write an acceptance speech, linking back to the person who gave it to you.
- Write 7 things you believe in.
- Give the award to as many brilliant blogs as you would like to share the love.
1. Acceptance Speech:
This is not a problem with me. I’ve been practicing acceptance speeches all my life, just like Mitt Romney. So I would like to say, thank you to all the other bloggers who have stood by me through it all, back when there was no bling to be found, and I was destitute. Of bling. I would also like to thank the Academy, and my dog who has been dead for like 20 years, and the clouds, and the trees, and Squirrel and Sad Pony and . . . why are you playing that music so loud?
2. Seven Things I Believe In
Crystal Light (cause I believe in me!)
3. Nominate bloggers.
I’m guessing this means don’t be freaking lazy and say everyone can have it. And here I thought I was being all generous in the Christmas spirit of Macy’s. But okay. I’ll leave them to the end, after I talk about my next award.
The Liebster Award was given to me by lovelifelaundry (another great blog title – who can get away from freaking laundry? It’s evil. Laundry, not the blog, which is tops.) Liebster is German for “dearest” and is given to Nazi blogs with less than 200 followers. Did you hear that? Yeah, I don’t believe it either. Less than 200? I figured there were a bazillion followers by now. (Actually I’m amazed there are over 20, but stay with me here.) Oh, and as it turns out, this award has nothing to do with Nazis, my bad.
There are questions for this one too! Golly, talk about me again? I just don’t know if I okay here I go!
MY 11 questions are:
1. What is your greatest stength?
X-ray vision. Also some people think I’m funny.
2. When was your proudest moment?
When my babies were born and I stopped being possessed by the little aliens.
3. How long do you wait for a bus before giving up and going home
I haven’t ridden a bus in a long time. I’d say five seconds, because I’m patient.
4. E-books or real books?
Yes. I mostly like real books, unless I’m reading something stupid like 50 Shades. Then I like to go incognito.
5. How far would you go to get what you want?
Is assault too far? What if it was someone seriously annoying?
6. Whom would you invite round for dinner?
Ana Steele. Then I’m smack her head into the mashed potatoes a billion times.
7. What is your biggest fear?
That we’ll get a Republican Prez in 2016.
8. What makes you laugh out loud?
Me! And many other funny people and their blogs.
9. Your greatest weakness?
You thought I was going to say Kryptonite, right? Wrong! It’s the color yellow.
10. If I had one wish I would wish for…..
Eternal life. Except then I’d get stuck in prison or something.
11. If you had to come back in a different era, which one would it be?
Medival Times – but only the medieval times that you see in the movies, not the one with no flush toilets.
Now the nominees! I think these are pretty good questions, so if you wanna answer them and take the awards, go for it.
Scienerf (because I want her to write yet another award post this week)
Ravinj (because she likes homework)
Speaker7 (because Hugo keeps dangling my lock of hair over a lighter)
GiggsMcGill Jill (because she’s cool, like, really cool, man.)
Jen and Tonic (so she can feel guilty about talking about clown boy on my press release blurb post)
Miss Four Eyes (because both Sad Pony and Squirrel nominated her for her . . . I’m gonna go with brilliance here.)
I know I’m leaving somebody(s) off here. Just send me a MLP horsehead pic and I’ll get the idea. Alice says thanks for all the love! And bling.