Warning: This Post Includes More Self Indulgent Whining

As if that’s different from my others, right?  I thought I might warn any potentially new people here.  You know, like one of those unfortunate people who found my blog by looking for toy cars that go bumpy bump.  (Sadly, yes, that was one of my search terms.  Whoops.)

Anyway, you know how sometimes stuff isn’t fair?   Like life?  And stuff?  Yeah, that’s my problem.  I realize how lucky I am.  I have friends and followers and no one has shut me down yet for being inappropriate and so far random illnesses haven’t killed me blah blah blah.  The stomach X-ray I just had yesterday, after having had Demon Stomach Flu From the Outer Rim of Evil, did not show that I was dying anytime soon.  There were no Monsters Inside Me.  Like parasites that can make your brain protrude out of your eyeball.  I think maybe I should stop watching that show.

So back to the point that’s here somewhere.  I decided to look at the Freshly Pressed blogs the other day, even though none of the important people (ie people in my circle) were pressed.  At least that I know of yet.  But Love and Lunchmeat informed me that there was a post up there with boobies in the title.  So OF COURSE I had to go check that one out.  And while I was there, I looked at some others too.  One struck my eye.  I will not name the blog or blogger, but there was a post on this blog that, let’s say, slightly pissed me off.  Basically, the blogger was explaining how she had been pressed four times.

Did you get that?

Four times.

And how it was like, no big deal?  Not like it’s hard!  No, really, this was mentioned in the post.  And Alice thought a lot of things.  She did.  She had nice quiet, contemplative thoughts about life, the universe, and WTF???  Just, really, WTF?  I’ve heard of it happening twice.  But four times?  Really, WordPress?  Out of the bazillions and bazillions of blogs out there, one of them needed it four times.

Alice admits she had not nice thoughts about this that involved bad words and possibly unauthorized use of some forms of machinery.  She did.  And not JUST because she has never been pressed despite being here for slightly longer than oh yeah two months (as another freshly pressed blog was that particular day).  Not that I noticed this, mind you.  Not at all.  No, because if Alice isn’t going to get pressed, then some other blogs she reads darn sure ought to be, at least before some blogs have it done over and over and over and over again.

Because Alice is nothing if not unselfish.  As Kid Rock said to President Obama in a breaking news story yesterday, “If you don’t stand for something, you don’t stand for nothing.”  Wise words, there, Kid.  Since I have no other way to end this complaint, I’ll ask Squirrel.

Hey, Alice, if you used me more, maybe your blog wouldn’t suck.
Just sayin.

56 responses

  1. It does get a little ridiculous over there, doesn’t it?

    P.S. Here is my e-mail: loveandlunchmeat@gmail.com. Please send a link so I can hate them too. Also, now you have my e-mail, which is kinda like having the secret portal to awesome. Or something.

    1. Haha, I knew I liked you for a reason, L & L. Will do.

  2. Know what else? Considering all of the awesome poetry blogs out there, I have yet to see a poetry blog getting freshly pressed (not that I am being self-serving or anything like that, but, COME ON WordPress!).

    1. Really? Hey, what’s up with that? I see some really great poetry out there (like yours). I don’t often comment because my comment would be something like “Gosh, that’s pretty.” or something lame. But I do read them. I love how you can use poetry to do almost everything from expressing beauty to doing a royal smack down on somebody. I’m no poet, and know it, but I know it when I see it. Or something.

      1. Oh, thanks, Alice, I appreciate that (turning red over here) & I understand, believe me. I have to be the most inept comment-er on WordPress. I often wish there was an “I am not sure I get this, but I think it’s cool” button for 75% of the poetry I read. But, yeah–I NEVER see poetry blogs freshly pressed, which sucks, because there are some intensely talented people out there writing.

  3. Ohhh Alice, just when I thought I couldn’t like more you come and mention 2 things that I been thinking about for ages, well not ages but some time.
    The first one being that show, I always manage to start watching while I’m eating, always, I always say I’m gonna change it but it keeps dragging me.
    And the other one being FP, I saw the other day a post very similar to one of a blogger a follow, honestly I liked better the one of my fellow bloggers, it had more likes, more comments and all, so I don’t know what’s the criteria. I was going to mention it to that blogger but didn’t think it was nice a thing to do.
    It baffles me to see some posts in there and don’t see post like the one I wrote yesterday hahahaha
    I agree with you 100%

    1. Thanks. Art is subjective. I should have gone into something like Math where it’s 2 + 2 = 4 or nothing. But I suck at Math. So I say 2 + 2 = Red.

  4. Take solace in the fact that you have made Le Clown’s hallowed blogroll. I don’t think it gets much better than this. While I have been Pressed and thoroughly enjoyed seeing my name on the wall, it did seem somewhat arbitrary… the whole process.
    Four times seems a bit excessive.

    1. True. I worked harder to get on that blogroll than I did to pass some of my classes. I’m not sure what that says about either the blogroll contest or the classes. But I actually love the people I met through the getting on the blogroll than anything else.

      1. They seem like very lovely people and bloggers indeed. You are in good company.

  5. I know: that blogger must be sleeping with WP…

      1. Alice to WP: Fuck yeah I offended your girlfriend! Can you hear me now?

  6. I purposely didn’t click the Freshly Pressed boobies. (Wait a sec…) I refuse to be baited.

    1. What’s funny is the freshly pressed post is about freshly pressed boobies. Is that great or what?

  7. Four times on FP? That’s enough to make me want to swear (but I’d best not do so out loud). Totally unfair. Completely and utterly unfair. Because your stuff is funny and clever and deserving of being FP’d. In fact, there are a few bloggers I follow who ought to have been FP’d and who haven’t been – which is also sucky and unfair.

    I have only one conclusion: WP must be taking bribes.

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets petulant about not getting pressed. And thank you for saying I am deserving, even if I do whine. You should be pressed too. We should throw a “we should have been pressed” slumber party and paint nails and bitch. It would be awesome.

  8. Oh yeah, and four times in TWO MONTHS. That’s absurd. I know of a few bloggers who’ve been pressed 3-4 times… but over the course of several years.

    1. Actually, the one I complained about getting pressed after two months was a different blog than the one I complained about getting pressed four times. I wasn’t very clear on that. Still.

  9. Your time will come, Dear Alice; of that I’ve no doubt. And if it doesn’t, you can always consider what TAE mentioned… 😉

    1. Thank you, Carrie. I’m glad your time came on your book. You deserved it. 😀

  10. I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I’m in disagreement on the outrage over the Freshly Pressed status of this mysterious blogger.

    I was on WordPress a full year before being FP’d, and even then, I did not expect it. Not everyone deserves to be Freshly Pressed just because they exist on WordPress. Of course, I’m a person who doesn’t believe people should get participation trophies in sports. Either you showed up and did a good job, or you didn’t.

    I guess what I don’t understand is how this person being pressed four times hurts anyone. There aren’t only four spots to fill, there are many that are constantly rotating. There’s room for everyone, potentially.

    Final note: FP is also curated by a person (or team of people?) who determines what should go there. It’s very subjective which is why it doesn’t bother me too much when I see single-photo posts of a ladder (or some other weird thing I don’t get) being pressed. Maybe it spoke to the selector that day in a way we won’t understand.

    1. Good point. Subjectivity rules the day. And having been happily FPed once, I have no idea why they chose that particular post on that particular occasion. All I know is that I didn’t set out to get FPed; I just set out to write a good post. And isn’t that ultimately what we should all be doing?

      [Sermon ends. Collection plate passes…]

      1. I love the collection plate comment. Hope you don’t mind if I put an M&M in there. I always wanted to try that. 😀

    2. Oh, I’ve nothing against the blogger in question, and said person’s blog may be great. I only question the wisdom of giving a highly coveted award to one blogger several times when so many deserving have not had it once. And not everyone should be WP’d – that I agree on. But there are deserving blogs out there – and I’m not just talking about my fabulous blog here – that haven’t been noticed. So it annoyed me. But to each her own.

  11. Alice, I know what post you’re talking about. I mean 4x? Is that really necessary? When there’s millions? What’s up with that? I know of another who had it 3x? What’s up WP? Whine all you like. I’m here for you, babe. And, squirrel and sad pony are here, too. You know what I say, just do what you do and it will happen soon. I hope you’re feeling better.

    1. That you Bumble. You are awesome. I should take you around with me everywhere. 😀

  12. Alice,
    I’m with Jen on this one. There is actually a team behind Automattic’s story wranglers. They work hard. They work around a set of criteria, and they will press who they think is deserving. By default, it will not be every blogger on WP.

    As for a single blogger being FP’d four times in a short span of time, shouldn’t we congratulate him/her? I mean, to me, it seems like quite the achievement… And kudos to that blogger for mastering his art, and being at the top of his/her game. I do not see why someone who writes compelling posts of that high caliber shouldn’t be rewarded for standing out, in such a remarkable way…

    I made a great deal of fun about not being Freshly Pressed, as it is in Le Clown’s character. Do I think every FP’d post I have read in the past deserving of the nod? Hell no! But it has always been ME VS ME, and how can I push MYSELF to blog better, among my boundaries, and learn as I go along. It paid off. And along the way, other bloggers were FP’d once, twice, three times a lady…
    Good luck, Alice…
    Le Clown

    1. Thing One has this message: Le Clown: what has WP done to you?

      1. Alice,
        It’s more like: What has Le Clown done to WP?
        You’re all welcome.
        Le Clown

  13. I hear ya, Alice – I, too, crave the FP status…and all my fabbo blogging friends seem to have been FP’d recently…(I said it before but I’ll repeat) I feel like the last prepubecent girl that hasn’t gotten her period amongst her friends…and wondering – will it ever happen…
    You’re a good writer – but it’s hard to believe when you don’t get that FP validation… I hope it comes for ya soon as it should ~

    1. EXACTLY how I feel, lol. What about meeee? I hope it comes for you too.

      1. How bizarro is this – I got an email today after I wrote this that I was being freshly pressed…I’m shocked…

        You’ll get there – I’m surprised that you haven’t been there all ready!

        1. That IS bizarro – I mean, the timing, not that you were pressed. Good job! I’ll have to check it out.

  14. Hi, there! As one of the editorial team members that curates the Freshly Pressed page, I just wanted to encourage you to send us links you’d like us to consider – you can tweet ’em to @freshly_pressed. (Poetry in particular! We do feature it a few times a month, but would definitely like to include it more frequently.)

    To shed a bit of light on the process, Freshly Pressed is all about the quality of the individual post, not the blog overall. If a blogger consistently posts quality, thought-provoking content, they may be featured more than once. (That being said, we’d never feature anyone 4 times in 2 months – that blogger was featured 4 times over 2.5 years.) We work hard to make sure we’re featuring lots of new and never-before-pressed bloggers, but we also like to recognize great content when we see it.

    We definitely appreciate feedback on the process and our picks; it only helps us make better selections going forward. And as always, I encourage y’all to blog because you love blogging, and not to make Freshly Pressed – the community of readers you build by being an engaged part of the blogosphere is far more important and enduring.

    1. Thank you for your response. I meant to say one blogger was pressed after two months, while another was pressed 4 times, but my wording was confusing. I do appreciate the community of readers greatly, and I am very fortunate to have them. But like anyone, I’d also like that gold star. I think it’s human nature.

  15. I think you deserve to be FP’d – and so do all your followers. So for now, the not FP’d of us can bask in the knowledge that while we don’t seem to be writing what the WP choosers like, we’re writing what other people like 🙂

    1. True, Jill. Rock on, girlfriend. Go woman. Yeah. Fist bump. Or something.

  16. Sometimes you just have to forget about it. Either they will or they wont. I am sure with something like 5,000,000 blogs out there it is easy to be overlooked. It doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy. Or at least that’s what I tell myself!

    1. You make a good point. Thanks for the support. Wow, 5,000,000 blogs. I wonder if we were to put up 50 blogs a piece, if that would up our odds? Eh, no matter. 😀

  17. I got FP’s recently. I’ve been live for 14 months, I have close to 1000 posts, and it was a reblog of a post I did back in January. It’s all random, and it’s all meaningless, really. Would you rather be FP’d once, or have a decent readership every day? Because those blogs that start in June and get FP’d in August get a lot of followers over 3-4 days… but a lot of readers? Not so much.

    1. I have wondered about that – the staying power of a freshly pressed blog. Does it stay fresh? I guess if it’s a really good blog, then yes, and if not, maybe no. I can’t imagine really having thousands reading you everyday. Unless you’re like, say, Speaker 7. I would FP every one of her posts.

      And you’re right – having a loyal, regular readership is great. Thanks for your response. Enjoyed our bathroom conversation the other day.

      1. Actually, as a newbie blogger this year, I started reading a lot of FP blogs and started following a few blogs. Some of them are awesome (and stay fresh), and I do find inspiration in some of them. But some probably just had a lucky moment and never impressed me again….

  18. Oh my God! I fucking love this! Sooo glad you put it back up. That is ridiculous that one could be freshly pressed more than once on the same blog. Honestly it should be one and done or it ends up just showing preference and then there’ll be cults and sacrifices and burnings. Ugly, ugly, ugly. I wish I were a WP editor because I’d press this, then possibly get fired. It’d be so worth it though. I wanna read the post you read, time to go scouring now.

    1. WordPress cults, sacrifices and burnings? Awesome -er I mean, that would be horrible!


  19. I agree with everyone a little. FP definitely seems arbitrary – often. The “What is Freshly-Pressable” tip posts don’t always seem to line up with the subsequent FP’d posts. Also, when I used to check out FP nearly daily, I found SOOOOOOO many that had been up and running for only a few months – not that that makes them any less worthy, just feels like if you’ve had a blog for more than six months, you’re much less likely to get pressed. And quality? That seems sometimes questionable to me too – I get that content is completely subjective, but when there are multiple grammatical errors, etc, and so on with other less-than-quality-writing issues? Hmm.

    On the other note, the whole “awards for participation” and “getting things more than once” makes me think of school staff meeting arguments over Sports Day awards, etc. Our society has become so worried about being politically correct and “fair” and not making any child “feel bad” – so no one gets to win a prize for being the “best” at ANYthing – except academics. And academics is certainly NOT the only way to succeed in life. No sports medals or recognition in case the brainiacs feel bad? What about the sports or art nuts that aren’t as brainy? They have to feel bad constantly so long as the bookworms are okay? (And BTW I was a bookworm and got all the academic awards as a kid and still feel like it’s bullshit now that I am the teacher so this isn’t bitter I-missed-out-as-a-kid resentment). 😉

    And if someone wins a gold medal on Sports Day in Grade 1 never gets to again even though they are the best? Cheap.

    Well,…. that rant went a little off topic. I’ve been up and down about FP’d in my very short time blogging. I’ve done what others above have stated – “given up” on basing my blog’s (or self’s) writing success on whether or not I have been. Not trusting WP as the be all, end all of good blogs. And most importantly, remembering that I started my website to write for myself, not for anyone else (despite how incredible it is to get likes and comments!)

    As for this post – regardless if you, or I, agree with it – it’s like Sigmund Freud. Not making the connection? The field of Psychology wouldn’t be what it was today if not for him. I personally agree with much of his stuff, but the fact that so many, back in his day, thought he was cuckoo prompted them to all get busy to prove him wrong – and moved the field so much farther forward in such a short time than ever would have happened without him.

    So – go you, Alice and all your commenters! Weehooo!!! And WP – for being a superb community and blogging platform regardless of terrific or bullshit FP criteria – I love WP all the same. 😀

    1. I don’t know – I was one of the “best” in academics in school, and not once did they throw a pep rally for us nerds. UNFAIR. Seriously, it’s an interesting comparison, but it’s hard to compare sports and art . . . you can quantify sports. Look, he won the most points. He wins the trophy. You can count points (which is why it’s so dumb when they don’t “keep score” – kids can count). But art is tougher. I spent a lot of time being frustrated in art class. I knew I was good, I knew mostly I needed to compete against myself, but watching others always win and not getting that nod myself . . . it was like, why?

      And yeah, the posts picked seem so arbitrary at times. Even those who have been pressed say so. And often the post picked is not the best work of that blogger. It’s all subjective – I’m not going to like what others do. Kudos for fitting Freud into your post – I think that deserves a nod right there! 😀

  20. Honestly Alice, I’m not a huge fan of the FP page. It’s nice that they’re encouraging writers, it is. That blog that got FP’d 4 times, I congratulate her. But when you really read all the posts of a blogger and the one that was FP’d, it turns out it was not that great. It was good , of course, just not fantastic like you’d expect it to be.
    Plus I have no idea how they keep up with all the comments. I would probably die!

    You’re gonna get up there someday though. I know it. And you won’t even need Squirrel or Sad Pony to help you. It’ll be ALL you.

    1. I would die trying to keep up with the comments too.

      Alice, I’d say we should go for the Pulitzer instead.

      1. Damn straight. Move over Maya Angelou. Wait – did she win one? Eh, no matter. We will totally rock that award.

        1. Remember the idea of that post about that certain group of people who is missing a blog?
          It’s been bugging me since that day, now I’m determine to make a post about it, I threw a poll today with a simple question that will show me important info.
          This sounds confusing I know, but you know what I’m talking about.

      2. YES, we can’t forget those guys. I especially feel for them today, because I have major itchy skin going on here, which is totally almost like their condition, if you’re a privileged American and you squint a little. I am going to your blog now to check it OUT.

    2. Thanks, Miss Four Eyes. It IS funny. I crave recognition like mad, but when I get it, I often don’t know what to do with it. Sometimes when I get praise here from my peeps, I get embarrassed and panicky and think ohhhhhh make a joke! Quick! I have seen the number of comments people get for the FP post and it’s like wow. I especially like the number of comments that just say “Congrats on getting Pressed.” How many different ways can you say “Thanks”? Thank you, no thank YOU, thanks so much, ‘ppreciate it, yo, what up dog, etc. It’s kind of like when we pass around the birthday cards at work and everyone signs and I’m like, how else can you freaking say “happy birthday”?

      Another blogger compared FP to being the only girl that hasn’t gotten her period. I think that’s perfect. I want to be like the others! I wanna grow up! Look I have and . . . frack I have to keep doing this? Are you kidding me? 😀 Sad Pony and Squirrel have told me that if I somehow get pressed, they are going to your blog. Actually, I think they want to go there anyway, and will take whatever excuse they can. Thank you for being one of my best readers. I always LOVE your comments, and your blog is hilarious. Go, us!

  21. Glad you put this back up. I have seen some utterly non-descript kak get FP’d, while my mind-blowing genius remains unrecognised. On the other hand, if you can “recommend” stuff for FP like thingy above says to do, it’s no wonder. I can’t be arsed with that, so I guess I’m the twat moaning about never winning the lottery while never buying a ticket 😉

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