As if that’s different from my others, right? I thought I might warn any potentially new people here. You know, like one of those unfortunate people who found my blog by looking for toy cars that go bumpy bump. (Sadly, yes, that was one of my search terms. Whoops.)
Anyway, you know how sometimes stuff isn’t fair? Like life? And stuff? Yeah, that’s my problem. I realize how lucky I am. I have friends and followers and no one has shut me down yet for being inappropriate and so far random illnesses haven’t killed me blah blah blah. The stomach X-ray I just had yesterday, after having had Demon Stomach Flu From the Outer Rim of Evil, did not show that I was dying anytime soon. There were no Monsters Inside Me. Like parasites that can make your brain protrude out of your eyeball. I think maybe I should stop watching that show.
So back to the point that’s here somewhere. I decided to look at the Freshly Pressed blogs the other day, even though none of the important people (ie people in my circle) were pressed. At least that I know of yet. But Love and Lunchmeat informed me that there was a post up there with boobies in the title. So OF COURSE I had to go check that one out. And while I was there, I looked at some others too. One struck my eye. I will not name the blog or blogger, but there was a post on this blog that, let’s say, slightly pissed me off. Basically, the blogger was explaining how she had been pressed four times.
Did you get that?
And how it was like, no big deal? Not like it’s hard! No, really, this was mentioned in the post. And Alice thought a lot of things. She did. She had nice quiet, contemplative thoughts about life, the universe, and WTF??? Just, really, WTF? I’ve heard of it happening twice. But four times? Really, WordPress? Out of the bazillions and bazillions of blogs out there, one of them needed it four times.
Alice admits she had not nice thoughts about this that involved bad words and possibly unauthorized use of some forms of machinery. She did. And not JUST because she has never been pressed despite being here for slightly longer than oh yeah two months (as another freshly pressed blog was that particular day). Not that I noticed this, mind you. Not at all. No, because if Alice isn’t going to get pressed, then some other blogs she reads darn sure ought to be, at least before some blogs have it done over and over and over and over again.
Because Alice is nothing if not unselfish. As Kid Rock said to President Obama in a breaking news story yesterday, “If you don’t stand for something, you don’t stand for nothing.” Wise words, there, Kid. Since I have no other way to end this complaint, I’ll ask Squirrel.