So you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole . . .

Hi, ho, it’s Kermit the Frog.  I mean Alice.  Sorry to disappoint.  I wanted to welcome all my new readers.  Hey.  Come back!  Where are you going?  There is some great stuff here, if I can just dig it out.  Wait, that’s a gum wrapper.  Hold on a sec.

When I found out I had gotten Freshly Pressed, I realized that my blog was a mess, so I did what I normally do when someone unexpected visits my house.  I shoved everything into closets.  See those categories on the right?  Closets.  There’s stuff in there, but I haven’t the faintest idea what.  There’s also categories up above.  I’m pretty sure you can find more about my somewhat unhealthy obsession with 50 Shades of Crap up there.  If you dare.  If you’re even more daring, you can look under the Children’s T.V. reviews, but I warn you.  Dora and Bob the Builder are there, and even worse, that scary freaking Cyclops cucumber from Yo Gabba Gabba.  Yeah, that’s a show.

The Village Monstersof Yo Gabba Gabba

The Village Monsters
of Yo Gabba Gabba

I have another closet entitled “My Mad Tea Party”.  That one’s safe.  I shoved all my friends and their blogs in there.  Check them out.  I’m certain I’ve left some off because I have ADHD which makes me

Anyway, you can also try checking the comments.  Anyone brave enough to comment here is worth checking out.  Also, anyone who comments is automatically enrolled in Smut University, where I am the one and only professor.  My class is 50 Shades Flunked, and we’re covering 50 Shades Freed.  I am fully qualified to teach because I have multiple degrees (no, seriously, I do).  The way to get ahead here is to comment (i.e. participation).  You can also try answering my questions, but your answers don’t actually have to be correct or anything.  There are many other students, though some of them may not realize they’re enrolled.  So like a real university, pretty much.

My students are a varied bunch.

My students are a varied bunch.

Usually my classes are on Mondays, but I’m a bit behind with the pressing business.  Also this real life of mine has been endlessly entertaining what with my husband getting pneumonia (making this 3 out of 4 family members who’ve had it), my mother having knee replacement surgery, and our plumbing exploding.  And I have a job, but don’t worry, I rarely let that get in the way.

I do plan on getting my lesson plans done as soon as possible.  Meaning as soon as I can stomach another chapter of the Dumb and the Brainless.  There’s a new feature I have planned as well, thanks to the success of my Epic Quest post.  I’m going to post on my weight loss quest on Wednesdays, since that’s the day you get over the hump (supposedly).  As far as other posts, I’m not sure.  I did ask for audience participation, which means you are free to suggest crap for me to cover.  Clearly I will do almost anything here.

In my quest to get healthy, blood may be spilled.

In my quest to get healthy, blood may be spilled.

I know there’s something I’m forgetting . . . oh, yes, Sad Pony and Squirrel.  You might be curious about those two.  You might be tempted to think they are just pictures of animals and not real but DON’T.  Ponies and Squirrels are very real, thanks very much.  I’m sure you’ve seen them.  Sad Pony is just another pony, only he’s sort of depressed.  Especially since people keep mistaking him for Eeyore, who is a depressed donkey, not a pony.  And Squirrel is somewhat hyper.  You’ve probably seen him racing across telephone wires on his way to another Squirrel kegger party up in your attic.

See.  He's a real pony.  Shun the disbelievers!

See. He’s a real pony. Shun the nonbelievers!

I'm up in your attic right now.

I’m up in your attic right now.

I guess that about covers it.  Well, it covers what I can think of at the moment.  Stay tuned, it will be interesting.  Or something.

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44 responses

  1. Holy vaginal balls!! You got pressed and I missed it. If you were Christian Grey, you would punch me right in the mouth. Congrats and well-deserved!

    1. Thanks. Holy vaginal balls was exactly what I said when I saw the email. Well, something like that. 😀

  2. Looks like you’ve got your house in order. You want to come over and organize mine? 😉

    1. You might never find your posts again, but sure. 😀

  3. Your rabbit hole is nice and comfy, Alice. How did the pressing business go? Did you have fun?

    1. I did! It is really like a trip through the looking glass, isn’t it?

      1. Indeed, Alice. Well said, as only you could say it!

  4. Don’t fret none everything will be well in the House of Alice shortly 🙂

    1. I sure hope so ramblings. I’m about to go mad for realz!

  5. Squirrel and I are doing the ‘Alice Got FP’d’ dance! With pomp pomps (which I have concluded are not pom poms with a typo, but some kind of sex toy)

    1. Pomp pomps are going to be the next big thing. Like the shake weight. I’m sure I’ll soon be shaking my pomp pomps for the naked blog goddess. 😀

    2. I envy the squirrel. I have only been told you are a Naked Blog Goddess, but the squirrel has seen it first-hand. Lucky effin’ squirrel.

  6. Oh, goodness! I’ve never seen Yo Gabba Gabba….that’s seriously disturbing. I’m never going to get back to sleep…

    1. Creepy one-eyed cucumber haunts my dreams.

  7. Nothing like getting FP’d to make you do the tidying!!

    Although I’m glad to see that nothing is going to change here at Wonderland. 🙂

    1. Nope. Cray-cray is here to stay. 😀

  8. May the tongues of a thousand eyes lap deliciousness from your platter of spaghetti blogonaise… perhaps 😕

    1. Aw, you always say the sweetest things, Panda, but, uh, gotta go “exercise”. Uh hmm.

  9. Holy vagina balls? Oh my goodness. It’s my new favorite. P.S. it’s totally not fair to make me pee my pants this early on a Monday. P.P.S I love your humor, even if I need to bring extra clothes to work just to read it.

    1. Speaker 7 has added some awesome words to the dictionary. See also: fuckballs.

      And thanks. Humor is always worth a change of clothes, I say. Of course I need some if I sneeze too hard too. Being a mommy is fun times.

      1. Kegels! It’s not cheating, it’s a workout you can do without standing up.
        My cousin recently fell victim to auto-correct and added “asshat” to my vocabulary. Good times.

        1. Asshat is also one of my favorite words.

          Kegels are great because the exercise the “down there”. Can’t help you, I’m kegelling!

  10. Ahahaha! Alice, you never fail to bring a smile to my face and considering the truly crappy day I’m having, WELL DONE! much luv 🙂

    1. Crappy day already? Oh, dear. Do you have to drop off children at school? That usually does it for me.

      1. Sadly, no children. Its just a bad day when nothing is working out *sigh* It’s all good though 🙂

        1. Hopefully it will get better soon. You know what would make it great? A sugary cola! Wait . . .

          1. Lol, a sugary cola could just be what I need *off to the kitchen*

  11. Well, teach, I’m commenting and I will NOT be attending any 50 Shades class. What do you think about THAT?

    1. Oh, you’ll show up. You can’t help yourself.

      1. You. Can’t. Make. Me.

        1. You talk just like Christian Grey! A+.

          1. You shall rue those words.

          2. Are ya gonna tie me up with your grey tie? Huh? Are ya?

          3. No. Worse. My engorged lightsaber. I mean, my lit lightsaber.

          4. Hahaha. That is not the proper use for a lightsaber.

          5. Um, what do you know about that? You live in a rabbit hole.

          6. I don’t live there. I just visit. A lot. When I’m not being badass. Like a Sith.

          7. I find your lack of honesty disturbing.

  12. Thanks for the refresher/introductory course for us newbies 🙂

    1. You’re welcome! Thanks for hangin’ around.

      1. I treasured my “Annotated Alice” when I was little 🙂

  13. I always thought Yo Gabba Gabba was a bit weird. My kids didn’t really ‘jive’ with it that well either. Perhaps this means they will not appreciate literature akin to 50 Shades when they are older. I can hope.
    However if they need an annotated version, I can always steer them to your blog. You summarize that hot mess oh so well.

    1. Thanks. My kids love the children’s tv reviews and often suggest shows for me to cover. Nevermind that they watched some of the shows themselves only a few years ago, lol. We always thought Yo Gabba Gabba was freaky, though.

      1. Kids make the best agents.

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