My first post on Speaker’s incredible new Official How To Blog! Check it out.

The Official How To Blog

Alice of Alice at Wonderland has been slogging through the literary anal dribblings of E.L. James for what feels like an eternity. There is only so much “Fair point, well made Miss Steele/Mrs. Grey” and “Laters baby” one can read before one feels as if they’ve been sucked into a Groundhog-Day-like reality of which there is no escape.

If after reading the above paragraph, you still desire to pore through the monotonous ramblings of an author who knows neither plot or character development, then Alice has prepared a handy how-to on how to slog through this pile o’crap.


Have you wondered what all the fuss was about with 50 Shades, but been scared to read it?  Of course you have!  With this simple guide, you can read 50 Shades of Grey and possibly keep your sanity.

How To Read 50 Shades

  1. Download it to your e-reader.  Then if someone…

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9 responses

  1. Great post, Alice! I don’t know why I didn’t use the books as an excuse for a drinking game

    1. You’d have probably gotten alcohol poisoning by chapter 5 if following my rules.

  2. Wonderful! As funny as we would expect. However, I’m not sure there’s enough alcohol in the world for all the drinking games suggestions…

    1. There isn’t. There really isn’t.

  3. Love it! I also wish I stopped reading at book 1….the drinking game is excellent suggestion…:-)

    1. Me too. Probably I should have added that you need to switch to non-alcoholic if you want to avoid hospitalization at one point. On the other hand, you might pass out, and then not remember to finish the book. That’d be okay.

  4. Never have I wanted to reread a book so much as after this post, you sold it to me and now I NEED to relive all those best bits, the poetic prose, the lyrical rhythm of the sex, oh Alice you have just contributed to the sales of these books E. L. James thanks you, I thank you, the doctors here at the asylum thank you…

    1. I bet she gets her best sales from the asylums.

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