This morning I was getting ready, sitting on the edge of my bed, minding my own business when my darling eight-year-old, Thing Two, who had been lying in wait under my covers, decided to leap out and yell “Boo!”

As a parent in this situation do you:

A) Smack the daylights out of your child with the hardest pillow you can find.

B) Yell at your child stuff like “Do you want to kill me?” and “I brought you into this world, now you’re going out.” etc.

C) Scream from fright because you are jumpy anyway and this didn’t freaking help, then turn around to do both A and B and see that cute smile on said child’s face.  The same cuteness that has kept mothers from every species from eating their young.  And you just sigh instead.  And then, ten minutes later, your older child asks if you’re okay, cause you screamed ya know.  Ten minutes ago.

So how was your morning?

Yes I screamed louder than this little brat.

Yes I screamed louder than this little brat.

29 responses

  1. Oh goodness…. We haven’t got to that stage yet. My oldest will be three in 13 days…. So my morning was full of questions……. As I’m rushing around trying to get ready and arguing about when he will get picked up by his dad….
    But you know what?!

    IT’S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    1. TGIF for certain. I remember almost 3 – that was no picnic either, especially with the youngest. She spent most of her time trying to kill herself, as I remember. FYI, superglue is not poisonous.

      1. I almost glues my finger to a table with quick dry superglue so I tend to stay away from super glue. But good to know!!!

  2. “The same cuteness that has kept mothers from every species from eating their young.”—Haha! Yes!

    1. I wonder what people with ugly children do – good thing most are cute, at least to their mothers.

      1. Haha. Yes. A face only a mother could love…

  3. Bleh. Today was supposed to be a holiday, and I had visions of sleeping late and waking up to breakfast in bed with le fiance. What really happened was that Thing one came back home and wanted noms. Thing two wanted to go out for a pee and Thing almost- a- half wanted to be cuddled. NOW. And since my things all have tails, there’s not much reasoning with the persuasive mewing. Not to mention you feel guilty for not doing what they want in five seconds.

    Ah well. Maybe sunday. 😦

    1. Haha, when I first read this and saw the tail part I was like, wtf kind of children does she . . . ohhhh, they’re cats. I get it. Much relieved. I had cat babies before I had real ones, and yes they have definite personalities! One of them was so nervous she would do this “mew mew mew mew mew” until you nearly lost your mind.

      1. Ah lol, some of them talk thrice as much as the rest. I get that. =P

  4. Cuteness – The downfall and redemption of all parents.

    1. So true. And knowing is half the battle! 😀

  5. Mom! Mom! Are you awake? MOOOOOM!
    No. No, I am not awake. This conversation is a figment of your imagination. Go away.

    1. Yes, I love that one. Also love when they storm in, start talking, then say “When you wake up can you . . .” Answer “NO.”

      1. The most important lesson I have learned from motherhood is how to say NO and mean it.

    1. Fur sure. First two were tempting. Can’t say how many times I had the idea of dumping them off on a random curve on the way to school while they’re snarking at each other in the backseat.

  6. Firstly love that you have taken a different direction with this post.
    Secondly as having had this happen to me (many moons ago) my reaction is hold chest, and yes scream. Perhaps a little pay-back is required…a gentle scare with a BOO and see what reaction they have!

    1. Which direction? East? Sorry, it’s Friday and what a week. In her defense, I am VERY jumpy – any sudden noise can seriously jar me. But payback – oooooh, yes, payback. Bwahahahaha.

  7. Surely hitting him with a pillow will only encourage a pillowfight?

    1. This has been the case before, yes. There have been pillowfight injuries. Especially since we all wear glasses.

      1. Ahh, a dangerous move then.

  8. You forgot plan D. Revenge. It’s called Twilight. You’ve still got to do Eclipse and Breaking Dawn parts 1 to a million (oh, wait, no, it’s only 2 parts but it seems like a lot more)!

    1. Ohhh, yes, that’s right. Bwahahahahaha. Kidsss, I got us a movie!

      1. Just remember to have it in reserve for when you need it!

  9. None of the above. You grab the little darling and tickle him to death!

    1. This is also effective but can lead to pillowfights (see comment above) which lead to owies so the Surgeon General advises against it.

  10. Mine would’ve gotten smacked. And I might have felt bad about it depending on how hurt he was.

    1. I might have if I hadn’t been reeling from the near heart attack.

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