Don’t Look a Gift Storm Trooper in the Blaster

Or something.  I just got a new bling from twindaddy.  It’s pretty sweet.  I’ll display it right this second or I’ll forget because senility.

Because there is no I in Team but there is a t, an a, an e, and an m.

Because there is no I in Team but there is a t, an a, an e, and an m.

There are fireworks and crap, which is just like when WordPress did that end of the year thing with fireworks, only it doesn’t display my most used safeword search word.  You know I typed that sentence twice with the same Freudian slip.  Huh.

Anyhoo, there are more rules, and as the classic rebel without a point, I’m going to rebel and screw them all up.  Again.  So let’s see, rules, rules, rules.  He says:

Display the Logo

Well no kidding. Look, there it is up there.  Don’t look in my bling closet because I haven’t added it yet.  It’s kind of a mess and if I open it crap comes pouring out and it’s bad for my allergies.  Okay, what else is there?

Finish this sentence “a great reader is ___.”  

You know you’re asking for it, right?  Let’s see, I could go with what Thing Two did at age five when her Bible class teacher asked her to fill in what her very favorite thing was.  She said “My very favorite thing . . . is me!”  But no, I’ll give it a little more thought.  A great reader is someone who reads my crap.  Even if they’re dragon tales creepers.  Or spambots.  Remember, spambots always take the time to leave comments, even if they are unintelligible and trying to sell you pills that really do work come see me now!

Oh, wait, there’s more.  Nominate – 14 people?  WTF, 14?  Do I have 14 readers?  According to my stats I’ve got lots.  Huh.  Okay, so here goes!  I’m going to nominate those who, in my opinion, are least appreciated around here.  Here we go:

Lista de email: You, lista, never fail to visit.  Your email lists are the bomb.  Take this award.

Pure Green Coffee Extract: I’m so glad you share my love of green coffee.   Do you hang out at the Cantina too?  Not only that, you offers weight loss pills for men for women.  Awesome.  Here you go.

Katherine is super awesome. She offers PHD scholarships which I didn’t even realize was a thing until now.  She had an interesting comment too:

“I would prefer dragons from trolls. Dragons are much cute, cuddly and enchanting compared to trolls that drool. Plus, toddlers would enjoy watching dragons in different colors while soaring into the air. Not that I hated trolls, I just don’t like their appearance and mostly they are villains in children’s stories. I would like to hear more of it soon.”

No problem, Kat.  I too love  different colored toddlers who fly in the air more than I do drooling trolls.

mysocialday thinks I’m swell and tells me so with backhanded compliments.  Like “I can’t believe you aren’t more popular given that you most certainly have the gift.”  The gift of what, I’m not sure, but hey thanks.  Take this award.

acnecyst has overcome so much in life.  Like acne cysts.  Those sound unpleasant.  If you go see him, I’m sure he’ll have some cream for you.  Thanks so much, man.  Here’s an award.

Hahaha I am only kidding here, guys, I have a lot of honest to goodness real readers here, too many to write down because if I do I might leave someone out and then that person might come after my blog after first finding all the dragon tales readers and teaming up and then I would be an absolute goner so you see this is mostly just a way of protecting myself and loving everybody equally so help me Amen.

And thank you twindaddy, for being awesome, as usual.


39 responses

  1. Congrats on your award! I wish I could win one so I could thank Butsrereipt, one of my favorite followers.

    1. I’m not sure if I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Butsrereipt. What do I have to do to get more popular????

  2. […] Alice – of AliceAtWonderland fame. She made me not want to read books or do yoga. I like it when people encourage me NOT to do things. […]

  3. Congratulations and jubilations (in my best singing voice) 🙂

    1. I couldn’t have done it without you and acnecyst.

  4. ZOMG!!! BAHAHAHAHA lol I just had a total WTF moment!!! You know how the first in your list (damn) is Lista de Email? I saw that and went “Oh crap!!!That’s a real person?? I’ve been deleting all their comments! They must hate me!!”

    Yep. I have the stoopid flu today. 😛

    1. Yeah, the other day lista and I were talkin’ about emails and she was like, this purpleperceptions guy? He deletes my posts! What a jerk! Only it was in Spanish so it was like, Este es el jerko purpleperceptions.

        1. Oops. But it’s really not my fault. Lista de email was the one who can’t get it right. I was quoting her. At least I think it’s a her. It is SO hard to tell with blog names sometimes . . .

          1. Lol, no worries. Boo lista though! I’m going to keep deleting her comments for that! =P

  5. Congrats on your award–so jealous of your acnecyst follower. All I get are IBSsufferers.

    1. I’ve gotten a few of those in the past. Also ones wanting to sell me “enhancement” drugs. Like I’m Alice at Wonderland, not Alice Cooper. Sheesh.

      Not sure what lista de email is selling – a list of Spanish emails?

    1. Thanks for appreciating how I destroyed your thoughtful gift!

      1. You destroyed nothing, weirdo.

        1. But I DID, I messed up the award all up. I did. Goofus.

          1. Did so. Can’t wait till Miss Four Eyes gets here so she can give you the fruitcake. Or someone equally deserving of hardened fruit.

          2. Um, does the fruit hafta be hard? That’s just weird.

          3. I don’t know. It looks pretty hard. I’ve never tried to eat a fruitcake. Have you?

          4. No. They look gross.

          5. That’s why you regift them. I do a lot of regifting. I just have to remember who originally gave it to me or you know, awkward.

          6. Lol, yes. And we all know how good you are at avoiding all the awkward.

          7. Totally. Never an awkward moment with me, nope.

          8. I figured as much. I wish I could be more like you.

          9. You want to wear a pinafore? Well, okay.

          10. I’m going to have to Bing that….hold please.

            PFFT!!! You don’t wear one of those!!!

          11. Yes I do. It’s the little frilly thing that goes over my dress, douchealicious.

          12. How about we blend our personas, then. You can wear some armor and I’ll try to act more like you?

          13. Gender bending is always fun.

          14. And we could eventually be extensions of each other’s minds. This sounds so effin’ cool…

  6. Congratulations on the award ♡♥♡♥ I see acnecysts is also one of your regulars. I do hope their cysts have cleared up by now, cysts are painful.

    1. That is true. At least I hope it’s true and that the person isn’t actually named Acne Cyst. That would be doubly unfortunate.

  7. Woot Woot! You have a family! YAY! All of use need one.

    1. And it’s so much better to pick your own – that way you get to choose the weirdos!

  8. Alice, you’re bonkers. I think that’s why we all love you. Including the spambots.

    1. The spambots never want to sell me stuff for the bonkers, though. You’d think they’d be more targeted than that, like the ones on facebook that follow you everywhere and then just happen to pop up with say, yoga ads.

      1. But if you were to stop being bonkers, you wouldn’t be you!

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