The Longest Tag EVER

So, like, a bunch of WordPress people (adults supposedly) are playing tag and I just got tagged. Not freeze tagged, tagged where I’m now doomed to find someone else to tag in order to rid myself of the blog cooties. Or something.

I could ignore it, but I’m about ready to shoot up some technology, so I might as well take a nice little break before my RAGE costs a goodly portion of my paycheck. So anyways, it was twindaddy again (quit stalking me! Unless this is really Blunt Life Coach in which case – I knew you loved me all the time!) and he was tagged by Merbear. I wasn’t aware there was such a thing, but I guess if you’ve got sea cows you can have Merbears. I bet there is a special in the works on Animal Planet or Discovery.

Okay, so tag is about answering questions and linking?  WTF?

Okay, so tag is about answering questions and linking? WTF?

Okay so rules (I wish I could just run and smack him back like in first grade. So much easier.)

1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/Twitter and let them know they’ve been tagged.

A photo of mwah? Sure.

Alice right about now.

Alice right about now.

11 facts about me?  A-gain?  What don’t you know? What would you like to know? 

1. My favorite antiperspirant is Mitchum.  I find it has the best flavor.

2 . I love watching that show “Monsters Inside Me” because it freaks me the heck out; but you know, I want to be prepared.

3. I suck at technology.  Either that or my computer is currently possessed by Satan.

4. I read all the Twilight books AND all the 50 Shades books because I . . . why?  Why did I do that?

5. I know people hate award posts, but I don’t have any other ideas so it’s an award post and what else was I going to do hurt feelings, huh?  Huh?

6. I’m pretty sure I have the plague and Rat Bite Fever.  (see number 2)

7. I have cavities. Damn those Cavity Creeps!

8. I almost never have any idea what I’m talking about.  (surprise!)

9. Did I mention the computer possession?  My disks have got it too.  Maybe THEY have Rat Bite Fever.

10. My name isn’t really Alice, but my real name does come from a classic book.

11. I like saying “eleventy billion” and “sadfaced” and other made up words and writing really long run on sentences because I’m a terrible English major.

You realize they've all left now, Alice.

You realize they’ve all left now, Alice.

Now I’m supposed to answer questions from twindaddy.  Is anyone still reading?  See if I care.  Go check out someone’s interesting blog but you’ll be SORRY.

  1. If you were a super hero, what would your super power be?  Blowing up stuff with the power of my mind.  It’s probably a good thing I don’t really have that.
  2. You don’t like your name (if you do, pretend that you don’t).  What do you change it to? Pocahontas
  3. Debbie leaves Cincinnati at 5PM and travels an average speed of 62mph.  Triton (where did that name come from?) leaves Dayton at 4:47PM and travels at an average speed of 87mph.  They head towards each other.  At what point do you give a fuck about any of this?  BONUS Question: How long until Triton gets arrested for reckless driving? Triton is a water god dude from Greek Mythology – or Ariel the mermaid’s dad.  Not sure how he’s driving at all with that tail.  At no point do I give a fuck about this.
  4. Coffee gets me high and keeps me awake at work on most days.  Do you have such an addiction?  If so, what is it? Cola.  Cola, cola, colaaaaaa.  
  5. I truly believe we are all broken in some way or another.  What is your biggest defect? Defect?  No one has made me the Queen of the Internetz yet, that’s the defect.  Or possibly it might be using humor as a self defense mechanism.  Nah.
  6. Conversely, we all have one thing we are extremely talented at.  What is your best attribute? I’m extremely talented at doing absolutely nothing.  Also some people like my writing and drawing.  You don’t?  Well get lost!
  7. If you were like Pinocchio, but could choose which body part would get bigger with every lie you told, which body part would it be? Clearly asked by a man.  I would choose to make parts smaller, not larger. 
  8. You find an empty box on the floor of your office.  What was in it? Crap.  Or, um, archival material I mean.
  9. You just walked into Starbucks.  What do you order? A pastry.  I hate coffee, even fru fru coffee.
  10. Do you read (besides blogs)?  If so, what type of reading to you enjoy?  Alice no read.  Alice read 50 Shades and brain no worky.  Actually, I usually like reading non-fiction but lately my attention span is so shot that blog entries and magazine articles from Cosmo are about the limit of my intellectual ability.
  11. If you could guest post on any blog, what blog would it be? Oooh, oooh, does the Pope have a blog?  Cause that would be pretty sweet.  Otherwise – I’d like to guest post on any of my peep’s blogs. 

That’s all fol . . . that’s NOT all?  I’m supposed to ask more questions?  WTF kind of tag is this?  By this point you realize I could be on the other side of the playground, right?  Okay, FINE, but you will be sorry.

"Tag.  Come on, play.  TAG!"

“Tag. Come on, play. TAG!”

1. Why do you blog?  Why do any of us do this?  Why?

2. Are you hungry?

3. Is this eleven questions yet?

4. Is anyone still reading?

5. Does my butt look big on this blog?

6. Just how bored are you?

7. How long can you hold your breath?  No reason.  Just curious.  Don’t look behind you.

8. Can you poop rainbows?  If so, we must meet.

9. Are you STILL reading?  You really are bored.

10. Is there a monster at the end of this post?

11. Does anyone know what I should write about?  That would like, be actually good?  Or mildly entertaining?  Or stupid and gross but kind of funny?

And the nominees are . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And the nominees are . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And now for the nominations, for anyone who got this far.

twindaddy (serves you right)

Miss Four Eyes (if you don’t answer, Sad Pony will get even sadder.  Squirrel will simply die.  Think on it.)

List of X (I want to see him come up with 10 reasons not to respond to this tag)

Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher (I really want to know if she can poop rainbows. That’s a great skill in a librarian.)

Revis (as brother to twindaddy, you are automatically responsible too.  It says so in the Bible.)

Faithhopechocolate (speaking of Bibles, faith, you’re it.)

Not Quite Alice (Another Alice is Always Acceptable and Alliterative)

Animockery (good artist and fellow geek)

braith an’ lithe (she’s a yogi – she can probably twist her way out of this tag)

Doggy’s Style (Run, doggie, run!)

She’s a Maineiac (Looks cool drinking coffee)

So there you go, our nominees.  Yay.  Now remember, you must pass this award on or ALL THE PUPPIES WILL DIE.  Have a nice day!


42 responses

  1. You can’t tag me back!

      1. Nope. If that was the case every post of mine would be a tag post. And that’s no fun for anyone.

        1. I’d be easier if we could smack each other and run. There’s no “poke” button on WordPress although the poke button always kinda weirded me out anyway.

          1. Um, yeah. I never understood that stupid button either.

  2. My brother already tagged me! Does that mean I have to answer both sets of questions???

    1. Your post is going to stretch on FOREVAHHHHH.

      1. I shall have to begin to plot revenge on you both…

  3. I must say (and even if I musn’t, I will), I absolutely adore your sense of humor. If it were up to me, I would gladly make you Queen of the Internet to fulfill your desires. My only fear would be that that power would go to your head and you would get all serious on us, “Off with your heads.” (and that sort of thing).

    1. Yes, yes, you must say you adore my humor! It is my fav compliment. But power – going to my head? Surely you jest! I mean, I just happen to have a ax lying around, no real reason for it or anything . . .

  4. Thank you so much for not tagging me. We are kindred now.

    1. Yay. Btw, I love your name.

      1. Merbear? Thanks. 🙂

  5. You threatened me with Sad Pony, Squirrel, AND puppies? Why Alice, WHY?!!

    1. I have a cold, dark soul. 😀

  6. Hahaha, I dig your 11 questions and the question about trains and people traveling and not giving a damn, it’s like primary school math all over again. I could NEVER figure out how to solve those. I still don’t know…is it ok for me to be sad along with Sad Pony now?

    1. Yes. Sad Pony always likes company. He doesn’t get Math either. “What’s the point?” he asks. Just like I do. Then I ask my daughter how to do fractions so I can cook from a box.

  7. Wait, that button with the blue star under each post does not say ‘poke’? Oh crap 😛

    1. Actually, I think that’s exactly what it does. I’m going to go poke a few people. Poke, I like you, poke I like you.

      1. poke, I like the button!

  8. Oh, my first tag. I shall make the post of this later. For now, much like the tales of Rumpelstiltskin (it’s just a reference no relation or offense meant), I guess your name. I will go with Pippi… yes?

    1. Wow you’re exactly . . . WRONG! I’m going to steal your baby for SURE now! Wait, no, I really don’t want any more kids. Do you have a nice stereo?

  9. I give you a pink dolphin and this is what I get?

    🙂 Thanks

    Will the puppies die if it takes me a coupla weeks to get round to it? *worried*

    1. Depends on how long the rope suspending them from the cliff lasts. Hmm.

  10. I too am named after a book. And although technically it’s not a classic, it’s so classic to me! Jillian Jiggs (Thing Two would probably really like them – especially The Wonderful Pigs of Jillian Jiggs ^.^)

    1. How have I not read The Wonderful Pigs of Jillian Jiggs? That sounds Seussian. My book is old. Well, not Bible old, but old.

      1. You should look into them. They’re super fun! And old can cover such a range of time periods!

        1. You are wise, young one. 😀

  11. Highly amusing my dear Alice..feckin hilarious actually

    1. Thanks! I like the word “feckin” and will work that more into my vocabulary.

  12. Thank you for picking me! I’m not familiar with the blog tag, so I have to assume it’s some kind of an honor.
    So, “I want to see him come up with 10 reasons not to respond to this tag”….
    Challenge accepted! But since you didn’t specify that I have to post it on my blog, I will use that loophole to post my 10 reasons right here.
    1) I don’t really like puppies that much.
    2) I can’t give out 11 random facts about me. All my facts are neatly ordered and properly numbered.
    3) If everyone would play along with these rules, and nominates 10 other people for an award on the next day, then just two weeks from now bloggers will have to post 100 trillion award posts on a single day. (That’s almost as many as eleventy billion). This means that every post in WordPress will have to be an award post, and an average blogger will have to post 100 award posts every second. In three weeks, the sheer volume of WordPress award post traffic will hog all of the bandwidth of the internet, and entire industries that our civilization depends on will no longer be able to function. Basically, I’m just trying to do my part to save the world.
    4) Do you really want to read 7 more answers filled with math, doom, nerdiness, and arrogance?
    5) If I can only answer 10 questions out of 11, I will break the rules anyway, so why even bother answering one?
    6) I have no idea how to display the awards on my sidebar.
    7) Or… I know very well how to display awards, but I don’t, because I want other bloggers to feel bad for me and give me more awards.
    8) I keep forgetting to order a proper professional photo of myself so that I could post it, because in my current one “List” and “of” look kind of fuzzy.
    9) This “Tag” thing sounds way too much like a name of a Romney and/or Palin kid. I am not taking that risk.
    10) Because… Wait, this isn’t even an award, why am I even doing this???

    1. It is TOTALLY an honor, as is having an entire top ten post in my comments section! Woot! Number 3 is so insanely logical, I will have to use it as a valid excuse with future awards! Also, number 9 had be rolling. They do have a Tag right? I know there’s a Tripp and a Trig. Of course, Al had a Tipper – but I have to think that’s a nickname, right? A terrible one, but still – some people should not be allowed to name human beings.

      1. Well, then since it an honor, I offer my unconditional “Thank you”!
        My extensive research into the horde of the many Romney sons reveals that there is one named Tagg. So yeah, I wouldn’t want to get Tagged, and would prefer to not even know what that means.

        1. I can see why he didn’t choose Palin as a running mate. They’d have gotten their children all mixed up.

  13. “I wish I could just run and smack him back like in first grade. So much easier.”

    He didn’t say “No tag backs”, you know…

    He also tagged me, the ass, but I said no tag backs, so this tag monkey is off my back, for now.

    1. Well, thank goodness. I’d forgotten that rule. Also running and touching a tree and saying Oly Ox and Free or whatever that was is supposed to work.

      1. I’ve never heard of Oly Ox, but it sounds creepy, so, let’s just stick with No Tag Backs or I’ll get nightmares.

  14. Can I refuse to play this particular game?

    1. If you care nothing for the puppies . . . 😀

  15. […] Now, here’s the questions from Alice. […]

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