Posture Queen

One of the things I’ve learned from yoga is the importance of posture.   Turns out if you slump, this does negative things to your back.  So THAT explains Quasimodo.  I bet that bell tower he lived in was not ergonomically correct.

If only he'd had a lumbar cushion, this tragedy might not have happened.

If only he’d had a lumbar cushion, this tragedy might not have happened.

I know for sure my desk isn’t.  It’s from the 1970s, back when computers still filled up a room and no one dreamed we’d all be working on one that could fit on a desk.  So we have these old desks with no pull out tray and somehow my wrists have not taken this very well.  Whereas I used to cramp after writing a letter, now I cramp when I type for an extended period of time.  This is BAD.  I mean, maybe not for some of you who are saying for the love of GAWD pleeze stop with the 50 Shades.  But without writing, I think my head might explode.

Back to posture.  See, posture affects everything.  Bad posture can make it hard to breathe, can mess up your back, your neck, your head, your butt, your legs, and of course your wrists.  Carpal tunnel, man, it sucks especially when people leave scalpels in your body.  With my luck, that would happen if I had surgery.  I’d have a knife in me, or worse, a cell phone and I’d keep getting that doctor’s phone calls and wonder what that strange ringing noise in my stomach was and and I’d finally go totally insane.

And she would be my doctor.

And with my luck, she would be my doctor.

So posture is important.  This is where yoga comes in – it shows you how to have good posture.  In mountain pose, you’re supposed to stand firm – like a mountain.  Which is tall and firm.  Unless there is, like, an avalanche.  This happens to me on the yoga mat sometimes.  And obviously posture is important while sticking your butt in the air during Downward Dog.  Although turns out this is killer on your wrists.  Who knew, what with balancing all your weight on them and all.  Yet yoga teachers are OBSESSED with Downward Dog.  You have to wonder about yoga teachers sometimes.

So I’m trying to get all ergonomic, as much as I’m able.  I stuck my monitor on a phone book to make it more level.  And I adjusted my chair, though my chair was probably made in the 80s back when aerobics was king and no one gave a damn about posture as long as you jumped a lot and wore spandex.  So my chair sucks too, ergonomically speaking.  I’ve been typing nonsense for a while now and guess what?  Cramp.  What to do, what to do.  I KNOW!  A video!

Don't worry, it's not "Let's Get Physical".  I don't WANT to hear her body talk.

Don’t worry, it’s not “Let’s Get Physical”.  She is never going to win the posture contest that way.

This is one of the best videos ever – at least it is when made fun of by the MST3K robots.  If you’ve never watched these guys rip bad movies apart, you really should.  And they’re even funnier on old shorts from the 40s and 50s.  This short is the exciting story of a teacher who spends an entire week teaching posture.  The kids who do the best become king, queen, prince, or princess of posture!  Don’t knock it, you guyz.  I was actually elected Queen of Posture back in 3rd grade and it looks awesome on a college application.

So anyhoo, sit back and enjoy and be happy we are no longer back in the good ole’ days.

31 responses

  1. AHHHH!!! MST3K!!! Love iiiiiit ❤

    1. Aren’t they awesome? I love them. My favorite short is the “Mr B” one, but “Chicken of Tomorrow” is also awesome. I just love how excited these children are about posture. Ah, the days before cable.

  2. I read this post and I’m now utterly confused. What just happened?

    1. Um, posture and Olivia Newton-John and 50s shorts and Quasimodo and yoga.

      1. Oh, okay. I’m still confused.

        1. Me too. Do you think you could be King of Posture? I bet storm troopers have great posture.

          1. This armor weighs me down. Idk…

          2. I bet the Emperor didn’t put in ergonomic work stations. Cause he’s evil.

          3. He doesn’t care about us. It’s sad.

          4. Our university president might be Lord Vader in disguise.

  3. hahaha! This is what they really did in school in the 50s? I want a time machine!

    1. Me too. I love how the kids annoy the hell out of each other with the “your posture sucks” reminders. That one little girl looks like a scary Nelly Olsen clone from Little House on the Prairie. I read the post to Thing One and got to the part where I said I was Posture Queen in third grade and she said “No you weren’t.” She’s right. I was Queen of Not Putting Up Her Chair.

  4. Alice, I have never been the Queen of Posture. Ha! Congrats to you. My computer set-up needs help, too. I would give it a bad grade…probably a F. I think yoga teachers are obsessed with Downward Dog. I thought I was the only one. If all else fails, go to Downward Dog. Personally, I like the Child’s Pose. I’m going to do it right now and rest my back. Can you imagine if they spend this time in school talking about posture! They’d never do that now, huh? But, it’s not such a bad idea.

    1. As I said to Four Eyes above, Thing One ratted me out and said I was lying about the posture queen business. Okay, FINE. I’m pretty sure I’ve always slouched. And we never did anything fun like playing posture royalty when I was in school. That I think posture lessons would be entertaining says something about my education.

      Yes, I love child’s pose except I tried it last night and it made my ankles hurt. Stupid old lady ankles! I think they should teach posture – it’d be more useful than those standardized tests. Because one day you will need to know what “x” is, right?

  5. I am so bad about this. We have ergo everything at my work but I still seem to fight against it. The hands and wrists have taken the worst of it. When I work all day and do a ton of sketching I hurt so bad I can hardly stand it. My back has improved though, last year I went to the gym religiously and I worked hard on my core and that made the world of difference.

    1. I keep hearing about this core and I think earth’s core and . . . yikes do I have a lot of magma inside me? Probably so, which is why my posture is so bad.

  6. I taught a 90 minute yoga class this evening with NO DOWNWARD DOG. Will the yoga police come and take me away in the night?

    1. I didn’t know it was POSSIBLE. My lips are sealed. 😀

      1. *whispers* I’m still here. But I put downward dog in my next lesson plan, just in case.

  7. I found myself trying to sit up straight at my desk while reading this… it’s… hard. I’m used to slumping forward or leaning backwards. My back isn’t happy with me if I’m forcing it to actually carry the weight of my upper body. The… searing… pain… Eyes… going… dark… Ahhhhhh, that’s better, slouched down again, happy and comfy.

    1. Sitting up straight makes you so tired. They need really tall, stiff chairs that force us to do that. Or just give us robot bodies. Or . . . in that case we could just send robots to work.

  8. I try to sit up straight because it gets uncomfortable if I slouch too much. But sometimes I find myself sagging. It all depends on how tired I am. Plus, we’ve a Sister here with a back problem and I can’t tell if it’s because she’s got really bad posture, or if she’s got a genuine problem with her spine. It looks a bit like her spine is trying to make the letter S out of her (sideways, not front-to-back) but the way she stands with her shoulders all hunched up surely can’t help. So I want to stand tall because I can stand tall. Oh, and they keep making me sing Office, so I need to stand up straight to be able to breathe properly to be able to sing. If only my ears would work properly at the moment!

    1. Sing Office? What’s that? Poor sister – we have an older patron who is a Friend of the Library and she’s a doll but the poor thing slumps really badly. Of course she’s up in her 90s, so I guess it’s not that surprising. But I’d rather stand up as long as I can! A couple of PE teachers thought I might have scoliosis – I don’t have it, but I usually had to go through two tests to be cleared.

      But it is hard – I have to constantly remind myself not to slump and I hate typing with my feet on the floor. That is one thing yoga does – it’s like your Mom. Stand up straight, oh yeah and stand up straight! Unless you’re on your head. Then stand upside down straight!

      1. Office is the daily prayers we have to say. Morning Prayer (which we call Lauds), mid-day prayers, Evening Prayer (which we call Vespers), and Compline (which is night prayer). The “main event” of these is Lauds & Vespers, at which there is quite a lot of singing. Sometimes I’m just there in my stall and singing with the others, and at other times – like now – I’m actually the one leading. Which is quite a bit scary.

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  10. I read and I slouched – but slouch in a good way with hand on chin reading this wonderful piece of literature that me laugh my ass off – especially the class! Well done Ms A you’ve done it again (love the teacher doing her slump impersonation).

    1. Thanks! Wasn’t she great? I’ll have to post more of those shorts. They’re so funny.

  11. Oh, yeah…keep posting Mystery Science Theater. Beats Spanish language soap operas in which everyone has their chests sticking out and heads tossed back in haughty indignation. Too funny. Really loved the part where a “healthy” meal was a bowl of sugar, a piece of white bread, and an egg. No wonder half of Americans are sick as diseased wildebeast.

    1. Oh, those Spanish soap operas – unreal. You think American ones are bad, theirs make ours look like Little House on the Prairie. I’ve had year of Spanish but still don’t catch most of what they’re saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s something along the line of “Pablo is married to Maria but he’s really the father of Lucia’s baby but he might not be a good father on account of having his head chopped off.”

      1. You know Pablo? He’s become a better father since he had his head chopped off, but donating it to the Howler monkey rescue mission will raise custody questions.

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