Today my baby is nine-years-old. She has grown taller, but her personality was set before she was born. No one can peg that kid down – she even ran away from the doctor’s stethoscope while still in the uterus. She was born screaming her little head off, and hasn’t stopped making noise since then. There’s never a doubt that kid is around, because she is constantly on the move, another project in the works. She is beautiful, smart, clever, creative, funny as hell, and a sneaky little thing. But if you know Thing Two and you don’t love her, you don’t have a heart.
Thing Two is a jubilant extrovert in a family of introverts. We all wonder where she came from. She’ll try to befriend absolutely anybody and very little embarrasses her. Once when she was around two or three we were waiting in the doctor’s office. A lady sat next to us and Thing Two talked to her about the wildest things as if they’d known each other for years. The lady looked at me with a confused expression. “She’s shy,” I said. Another time when she was around four the nurse asked her if she’d had her shots. She said “Yes, see?” and dropped her pants – right there in the waiting area. So I had her with her pants down and Thing One (8 years old) flailing around like she was about to have a seizure because OMG little sister was showing her panties! At least we provided entertainment.
Thing Two is dramatic, no matter the situation. She is quick to anger and tears, but just as quick to laughter and smiles. Don’t get on her bad side, though, or you will become, in her words “her mortal enemy.” In reality, though, few people are enemies of Thing Two. Most are friends, whether they are adults, children, stuffed animals or invisible creations. Everything and everyone is worthy of celebration – with a party. A big party with decorations and cue cards in case you forget your lines. Once she even planned a surprise birthday party – for herself.
Speaking of parties, Saturday we had her birthday party. I’m not a fan of birthday parties. Those involve things like other children, noise, mess, other children, lots of chaos, and other children. But her father (the tallest child at the party) planned it and he did an impressive job. The theme was Star Wars since Thing Two is a tad obsessed with it, to say the least. Four of her guests were boys. My husband was thrilled – a party without Hello Kitty or My Little Pony or pink!
Each child received a light saber – a pool noodle cut in half. They also got to create blasters with PVC pipe and black duct tape. For another activity, they put her new stuffed Yoda in a backpack and ran a timed obstacle course like Luke while training with Yoda on his back. He cut holes in empty washer fluid jugs and Thing Two stuck on them pictures she made of Padme and a bounty hunter and the Death Star, among others. Did I mention she’s an awesome artist? Anyway, for this game they NEEDED a Nerf rifle that shot little disks into the jugs. And all over the church gym we had rented ( If at all possible, do not have parties at your own house.)
There were Darth Vader masks for each kid. These did not come assembled, which really should have been explained on the outside of the bag thanks so much. Thankfully, a few dads were around to do the mechanics of mask making. For refreshments we made cupcakes and decorated them with Vader and storm trooper rings and light saber picks. I ordered these decorations off Amazon. Behold our amazing work.
The kids had a blast (literally). Including the Things, there were eight children running around, “shooting” each other with their pipe blasters, whacking balloons (oh that delightful POP) and smacking the daylights out of each other with pool noodles. My husband was in the middle of most of this, targeting small children with the Nerf gun. I was in the corner practicing yoga breathing techniques.
After the party, my husband and I collapsed. All done! Until next Monday, when Thing One becomes a teenager. Oy.