Merbear and Alice get Stimulated!

Hey, readers, I’ve got something special today.  Merbear from Knocked Over By a Feather and I teamed up to discuss this fascinating ad from the 40s that’s about . . . a brush?  You decide.  And head on over to her blog to see more of these hilarious ads deconstructed!

http://www.retro-ads.net/v/1940s/Grooming/Women/1949_Stimulator.jpg.html

1949 Stimulator Ad

Alice: it’s a stimulator – and the brand is named prophylactic?

Merbear: my favorite line…makes 100 strokes a pleasure.    that is fucked up yo.

Alice:    what the fuck is she doing with that brush???

Merbear:  hmm…i think the rigid package tells us exactly what, indeed

I thought it was a vibrator at first

Alice:  It might just be one. I know I don’t get that happy from a brush

Merbear:  no…not usually..not enough to sing a song about it

Alice:    penetrates hair . . . oh lord

Merbear:    it writes itself, really..all the good ones do!

Alice: I wonder which end you use – I mean the bristles massage but that might get uncomfy

Merbear:    I think it is one of those multi use brushes    one end brushes the other side penetrates

Alice:  I do need to recondition my va-jay-jay

Merbear:  It is also good for getting snarls out of your pubes

Alice:    yes, they are wonderful for scalp massage . . . (dramatic pause) er, uh, so gentle.  Yeah, yeah scalp, gentle on the scalp.

Merbear:    scalp, of course… brings out all the luster

Alice:    it’s a beautifully molded package, hahaha

Merbear:  rigid, don’t forget..that is very important

Alice:    I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair, and then I’ll use this brush!

Merbear    Who needs a man when you have a stimulator?    I personally love a hollow handle

Alice:    there ain’t nothin like a brushhhh, nothin’ in the worlllld!

Merbear:    sing it girlfriend!!

Alice:   I still can’t believe the company name, oh my god

Merbear: i wonder of they made condoms too? wtf is Mary Martin?

Alice:   lol, she was in South Pacific – it says above the ad. I think she also played Peter Pan?

Merbear:    oh, I thought she looked familiar..I didn’t recognize her without the green tights

Alice:  When cross dressing, always bring your brush.

Merbear:    hey, the bitch doesn’t even have hair!

Alice:    Yeah, so how does she know how good that brush is . . . ohhhh

Merbear:    Um, perhaps they should have gotten Marilyn Monroe to model this thing  or someone from that generation.  You know, someone who has hair would be helpful.

Alice:    Brushes are a girl’s best friend

Merbear:  You said it, sister!

Alice:    Yeah, I don’t think she’s using it on her head.

Merbear:    I feel bad now, that lady is probably dead.

Alice:    yeah but she was all famous and shit so it’s cool.

Merbear.    Yeah, I am sure she wouldn’t mind.  She had her day in the sun.

Alice:    Was it a brush related death? Going to hell now, I am.

Merbear:    I bet she got it stuck.

Alice:    THAT would be an embarrassing ER trip

Merbear:    Had a mind of it’s own one day and bzzzzzzz….

Alice:    I sat on it doc I SWEAR

Merbear:    Nurse, quick, get the forceps…

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43 responses

  1. Reblogged this on Knocked over by a feather and commented:
    Alice and I make fun of a vibrating brush…

  2. That was just too funny, even before you guys started in on it! Brilliant 🙂

    1. Our twisted minds think alike. I really wish that brush was still for sale.

      1. We’re like Twisted Sister, only not as fucking scary.

        1. Someone should have taught them how to apply makeup better. It’s like what if clowns got a rock band.

          1. They sure were purty though…

  3. Ms Martin did indeed play Peter Pan. She was also Larry Hagman’s (J R Ewing) mother. I’m just sayin’.

    1. No wonder she was so desperate for the brush.

  4. Mary Martin was in the original Broadway production of South Pacific, not the film. I’ve seen it a million times and cringe knowing that I know the entire film and all the music by heart. Mitzi Gaynor played the lead. However, MM was definitely in both productions of Peter Pan.
    This ad is extremely creepy. Though I’m impressed with the price (only by today’s standards. My last brush cost a lot more than $2.95!), which in the 40’s would have been considered slightly outrageous for a brush.
    You two are hilarious.

    1. Thanks. It’s amazing how you can fit brush into so many of those songs. I know many of them too, though I’m not for certain if I’ve actually sat through the entire movie, or play. I never saw Peter Pan either – she looked kind of scary. Then again I find Peter Pan kind of scary.

      If you go by inflation, a $2.95 brush would cost $45.38 in 2012. (There is a calculator you can use on http://www.westegg.com/inflation/infl.cgi) For that price that brush BETTER do what it says it does.

  5. This is like Herbal Essence before there was Herbal Essence.

    1. The brush didn’t require water, thank goodness. It was self lubricating.

      1. Well, the fun never ends then, does it?

        1. And for $2.95, it’s a doggone steal!

    2. Brush + shampoo = never getting out of the shower again.

      1. The water will get cold eventually.

        1. But I’ll stay hot, hot, hot!

          1. lol

  6. “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair, I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair and send him on his way”…… because with the stimulator i don’t need a man!

    (my apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein:)

    1. They will forgive you, in the name of comedy.

    2. The ad should apologize to Rodgers and Hammerstein. I’m in looooove with a wonderful brush! WTF.

      1. They should receive retribution…in the form of prophylactics…

  7. That ad is just way too funny. Despite the year it came out, you know a bunch of ad-execs were sitting in an office somewhere snickering about the thing wondering just how much they were going to get by the censors.

    As for Mary Martin, she was actually a rather successful somebody for a number of years, and, as already pointed out, went on to have a child who became a star before later going on to become a household icon.

    1. But I’ll always remember her for the brush.

  8. I just… I don’t under…. I mean….
    I am baffled.
    I cannot fathom such an implement ever being marketed in this way. ‘I’m in love with wonderful brush’? Really? Could they market toilet bleach in the same way?
    I’m bemused beyond measure, and also still laughing at ‘Was it a brush related death?’ 🙂

    1. Oh, you know they could market toilet bleach that way. I love the commercials where women excitedly raced around the house and cleaned, happy as larks. Wait – they still do that in commercials today. There are women that are way too damn happy with their swiffer sweepers. Is it the modern day brush, perhaps?

  9. $2.95 had to be a small fortune back then…. it better have done all that shit it promised! Well done, ladies! Beavis and Butthead would have been proud of the way you hit all the hidden euphemisms without all the huh, huhing….

    1. Yes, Alice and I are highly articulate…if only we could get our hands on one of those brushes…I have $2.95 in change in my piggy bank…

    2. Oh, there was lots of snickering going on whilst typing. Oh, oh, oh, what about this! Hehehehehehehe . . . .

      1. Birds of a feather flock to reconditioned woohoo’s…

  10. You guys are nuttier than a fruitcake.

    Still, I’d buy it. And I’m not even a woman.

    1. Funny you should mention fruitcake. I have an award with just that name on it. It’s being passed around as we speak.

      And who wouldn’t want that brush? Look how HAPPY she is!

  11. Ooh, dying… this is too funny !!!!!

    1. Thanks. We did have fun.

  12. Alice, Merbear, you’ve brightened my week!

    Thank you for your funny.

    1. Thanks for reading our funny, faith!

      1. All you have to do is keep on writing, and I’ll keep on reading. Well, when I get time… F xx

  13. Hilarious! The oldies are the best. I wonder if they still sell it . . . . .?

    1. I am totally looking on ebay now. Merbear mentioned maybe someone might have it in an old barn some where like in that Picker’s show. We could find it and resell it for millions and be set for life. If we could sell it.

  14. Haha! You two are hilarious! I love the marketers that came up with that. You think the got the products mixed up?
    …No wait, I think I like the people who bought the brush based on this ad more! Must have been so disappointed, poor guys. “What? It’s just a brush?!”

    1. Hey, I’m not being stimulated! I think this is just a hair brush! My faith in humanity has crumbled. Thanks, Mary Martin.

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