The Anti-Awards

We all love getting awards.  And giving them.  Especially if it is an award like the Fruitcake award. You want that one gone as fast as possible.

But sometimes there comes along a person who, well, deserves a special sort of award.  This is the kind of person who, say, is told to back off and leave someone alone, repeatedly, but just keeps coming back because he or she is some sort of love god, right?  Yeah, no means no, even on the Internetz.  Stop being a creeper.

Or maybe it’s just someone who is plain obnoxious.  Yes, I realize I sometimes fall in this category.  But these people have really outdone themselves.  They constantly show up in the comments and act rude and horrible to other posters.  It’s especially fun for them to show up and rant about a very sensitive topic.  Because they, my friends, are douchecanoes.

Before anyone starts wondering – am I a douchecanoe?  Or a creeper?  I’ll say that as far as I know, no one following my blog fits that description.  Except possibly the Dragon Tales guy.  Hi, Dragon Tales guy!  Anyway, here are two new awards created by yours truly, to be used as needed for cleanup on WordPress.

douchecanoe award


And for the creepers?  Don’t worry, I didn’t forget you.

creeper awardI look forward to the day when these awards are no longer necessary.  When WP installs something like a block on Facebook, or finds some way to keep someone from following a blogger.  Until then, we really aren’t totally safe.  Stalking can occur anywhere, and while I’m having some fun here, it is a serious matter.

I hope WordPress comes up with a solution to this problem, because I hate to see friends bothered by a few jerks, some enough that they consider shutting down their blogs.  It has happened before.  Don’t let it happen again.

47 responses

  1. Reblogged this on Knocked over by a feather and commented:
    Excellent post on a very serious issue, once you get past the douches.

    1. Hey, that reminds me Mer — where’s my fruitcake award? 😉
      Hope you’re doing well.

      1. I think ES will give it back to me, and guess who is getting it next!!

        I am much better now, thanks.

        1. I am so glad you are doing better 🙂

        2. Damn… I still need to do that…..

          1. Yes, you do…slacker…

  2. I am so blog unsavvy it isn’t funny. I still haven’t figured out how to customize my blog page much less give/receive awards. My complete lack of skill in making blog pieces/parts do the things I want/wish/need them to do is a very large part of why I rarely post anymore.

    I should really remedy that, I just don’t see myself having that sort of time.

    1. I just made it on Paint. I’m not that great, but I think it suffices for the purpose.

  3. A very witty take on, as you say, a very serious subject .
    I’ve been lucky so far, hopefully my luck will hold. My brain doesn’t handle mindless ranting well – it goes all sort of upset, angry and obsessive all the same time 😦
    I love the term “douchecanoe” 🙂

    1. I do too. There is so much you can do with the word douche. Like douchenozzle, doucheforbrains, douchealicious, douchebucket, etc. It’s very versatile. But only with douchcanoe can you stick a box of Summer’s Eve into a canoe.

  4. I sure hope those two awards never end up on my page!

    You raise a great point in a funny way. Love the Douchecanoe award. You may have just coined a new term…

    1. I wish. I’ve heard it around some. Those awards couldn’t end up on your page. You have to be really SPECIAL to get one of those. Maybe I’ll nominate some of my spambots.

  5. Thanks for writing this Wonder Twin.

    1. Velcome. Wish there wasn’t a need for them, but never fear, now they are here.

      1. I feel much better.. back-up is a great thing. 🙂

  6. Love!!

    1. Thanks. Feel free to give them out to the irritant of your choice. Like the Sunshine award, only not.

  7. There IS a “block” function on WP. You can block everything about them including their IP address, which I suppose is not helpful if they use a different computer. Go to the “help and support” page and search for “block user.” I had to do it because I had a serious troll problem with one person. It worked.

    1. Thank you for posting that, also had another friend help me out.

    2. I hadn’t heard of that. I haven’t had a major problem yet, but I will definitely keep that in mind. Thanks for the tip.

  8. Sorry for being a creeper…

    1. Aw, you can creep here anytime. Just don’t take a canoe.

      1. Canoes are for hippies!

  9. So, you’re just going to create these awards and not nominate anyone?

    1. I have some nominations in my head. Too bad Sarah Palin doesn’t have a blog.

  10. Hehe, that creeper award! Gotta love it. The award, not the creepers deserving it obviously.

    1. Yeah, I always think of that guy when I think of creepers. My preciousssss.

  11. In the event I say something dumb, just let me know…I’ll pass on the douche award! LOL

    1. Oh, my, if it was only for saying something dumb I’d win it a thousand times over. Have you ever been to a comment section where someone is, say, discussing how a bunch of people died and then one guy has to jump in and make it political somehow? I would love to give those guys douchecanoe awards so badly.

      1. Ahhh yes, sadly! Might have to borrow a few of those awards to hand out out on special occasions!

        1. Feel free! I think everyone knows either a douchecanoe or a creeper. It’s so universal.

          1. Just call em douche creepers, and save a few key strokes… 🙂

  12. Thank you for the TLC earworm!

    1. TLC? I know a lot of people on that station who need it – or are you referring to something else? Color me dopey today.

  13. I almost want to find some people worthy of gifting this to them, just to use them… almost.

    1. We have someone special in mind.

      1. I kind of figured…
        But, you know, you could have just emailed me instead of creating these awards all about me. 😛

        1. Not you, my friend.. You are amazeballs.

          1. We should make an amazeballs award too. I have so many lined up!

          2. Yeah we should!

          3. Awesomesauce! I’ve always wanted to be amazeballs. 😀

  14. Here’s one for y’all:

    Feel free to distribute as you see fit. Just download it within the next day or two and store on your computer; I’ll have to make the settings “just me” again soon before the pastor and his wife see this. o.O

    1. That is awesome!!

  15. i like the amazeballs award – and i love the douchebag award. good to have something in the arsenal if needed. 🙂

    1. Don’t forget the creeper award..very important.

  16. You are brilliant. 😉

    Oh and the Fruitcake strikes again! There was even a voluntary acceptance in the comments.

    1. Yay! Go fruitcake! I doubt there will be an acceptance speech if I give out the Creeper or Douchebag awards. Congrats! You have won The Creeper Award! Come to my blog to claim your prize! But don’t stay or anything, just take and go, okay?

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