I Would Do Anything for Sleep . . .

That looks good enough to sleep on.

That looks good enough to sleep on.

But I won’t do that.  Good morning, boys and girls.  We’ve got Meatloaf on the menu today, because you can never get enough Meatloaf, can you?  I got the Meatloaf idea from twindaddy who got it from Squirrel, who posted it on his Facebook page.  “But Alice, I thought you took Squirrel off Facebook,” asks none of you.  Well, I did, but no matter how many times you try to deactivate Squirrel, he always comes back more hyper than ever.  Sad Pony was totally okay with deactivation since that is his normal state anyway.

But back to Meatloaf.  I admit that I like his music, well some of it anyway, because it’s so hyper-dramatic.  Like me.  He could sing nursery rhymes and make them sound angsty.  So that’s why I am using his “I Would Do Anything For Love . . . But I Won’t Do That.” for this post.  What won’t he do for love?  That is a big question my friends and I have spent debating instead of doing actual work.  It’s even discussed on the Internetz, but no one really knows for sure.  I think Meatloaf was hedging his bets, in case the girl was into something really far out, I mean far out for Meatloaf.  How many times can I say Meatloaf in one blog post?  How do you think he got the name Meatloaf?  Surely his mother didn’t name him that.  So he chose it for himself.  Why would you choose to call yourself Meatloaf?  I mean, I could see Mac N Cheese, but Meatloaf?

This isn't meatloaf, but close enough.

This isn’t meatloaf, but close enough.

But back to the blog post.  Sleep.  I would do anything for sleep. Except that. I’m not sure what that is, because when I’m really sleepy, which is most of the time except for night time, I would do just about anything for it.  Even for another hour of it.  I don’t care.  I’m like a drug addict that way.  One more hit, just one more hit of the snooze button and I swear that’s it!  I’ll totally get up then zzzzzzzzzzzz.

But no, I have to get up, put on clothes, eat something and then get my children to do the same.  Instead I end up in their beds because everyone needs snuggle time.  So we’ve got the three of us in one bed, piled in like bears, and I’m thinking “I would do anything to stay right here for as long as possible.”  But time doth marcheth on, so we have to freaking get up.  Now they will have the chance, normally, to get more sleep once they are dropped off at their grandmother’s.  But WILL they?  No.  Because they are children, and children waste summer vacation being awake.

When I spoke about Sad Pony and Squirrel to my counselor (she is totes okay with that because she is used to dealing with insane people all day), she asked me what animal I would like to be and I said house cat.  Because house cats get to lie around and sleep all day.  And she laughed and said she knew I was going to say that.  I can’t imagine why.  The great thing about cats, though, is that not only do they sleep wherever and whenever they please, they really don’t give a darn if you like it or not.  They do not aim to please, cats, because they are independent, confident, and evil.  So you understand why the idea of being reincarnated into a cat is so appealing to me.  With my luck, I’d be reincarnated as a cockroach and immediately walk into a roach motel.

I would like to be this cat and annoy the heck out of everyone.

I would like to be this cat and annoy the heck out of everyone.

But right now I’m still Alice, so I have to find a way to stay awake all day.  I have my trusty Coca-Cola.  Or coke, as we call it, not pop you crazy Yankees.  Yes, I’m drinking tons of coke because coffee isn’t nearly sugar laden enough, even at Starbucks.  But I don’t think it’s working.  My coworker just left the office and I came very close to blurting out “Good night.”  And I’m wondering how comfy keyboards are, because pretty soon my face is going to be on it.

So I would do anything for sleep.  Except – remember the rest of that song.  Or my name.  Or what planet I am on.  Sleep.  Just one more hour and I’m good.  No I do not have a problem.  I can totally do this.  I can stay awake.  I can k;uijaidjinknovpyh8iaowsrd

27 responses

  1. Damn you, Alice. I’m listening to that effin’ song AGAIN. Damn you….

    1. Bwahahahahahazzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. Nice post here.. I am a big fan of meatloaf too.. I don’t know maybe if you would allow me to use (just the topic) the topic of this blog post i know something to write about it..of totally different persspective 🙂

  3. You kinda trailed off a little there at the end.

    1. Whu? Huh, there is drool on my keyboard.

  4. I would do anything for sleep. Anything. Yes, anything. That’s it. That’s all.

    1. You don’t fully appreciate sleep until you are a grownup and then IT IS TOO LAAAAATE.

      1. Sleep is wasted on the young? We are older and wiser, we should take it back!!

  5. I feel like that most mornings…oh, who am I kidding? I feel like that EVERY morning.

    1. Me too. I think I require at least 12 hours of sleep a night and never get it.

      1. Twelve to eighteen hours of good sleep, plus six to eight hours of decent napping, and a few hours of dozing time in between.

  6. Sleep is lovely, isn’t it? I let other things go before I let my sleep go. If I don’t get 7 1/2 to 8 hours at night, my family would disown me. And rightfully so…

    Here’s hoping you find your sleep nirvana! Meow.

    1. I’m hoping too. Yeah, I’m sleepy on a normal day. But if, say, I go to sleep too late like I did last night, it’s even worse. I have never been drunk, but I think sleep deprivation is much like it.

      1. And it takes a toll physically, too.

  7. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I look at my cats sleeping and try to convince myself that watching a cat sleep is as good as sleeping myself. It never works.

  8. Try replacing every time Meatloaf sings ‘love’ with ‘loaf’ that may help you stay awake.

  9. Sleep is not coming to me of late and waking at 3 is nothing unsual either. I often have face planted the key-board (without or without alcohol) . Poor Meatloaf when he sang here at the Footy – lets just say he was not received well as his voice was pretty much *crap*. Hopefully you rest if not I hope the key indentations disappear of your face by the end of the day.

  10. Hey , I just made meatloaf. The real kind, not the melodramatic kind whose “bat out of hell 2” was the favorite CD of my former college roommate who played it like his own personal anthem for about a year.

    Mine also tastes better with gravy and potatoes.

  11. coke? pop? What in the hell is that? Sounds a lot like soda….

  12. I work full-time-plus, write a blog, and have a family and a couple of other time-consuming hobbies. What is this thing you call “sleep”?

    1. As do I. Sleep, yes, sleep is a . . . dream.

  13. The think Meatloaf won’t do is sleep around. In the song, I mean.
    The girl sings “sooner or later you’ll be screwing around”
    And he replies “no I won’t do that”.

    I’m with you on wanting to be a cat. The best place to be a cat would be at a convent, ideally a branch house of the order, not the mother house. I say this because I know that there are three house cats at two of our branch houses, and three ferals at one of those as well, and they’re all incredibly pampered felines.

    1. A cat in a church. Works for me. It’d be nice and quiet too. I’d probably end up being the poor church mouse.

      1. Not in a church, no food! In a convent, though, there is food. At St Oswald’s, they don’t allow the cats into the chapel, because of the disconcerting tendency of the cats to sit in front of the altar and wash their nether regions. At Beachcliff (the other house with a cat) the cat is very much an Old Testament sort of cat – she goes out and catches things, and then lays out the dead bodies in front of the altar!

  14. […] I Would Do Anything for Sleep . . . […]

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