Marlene goes shopping!!!

Wonder Twins are back! Marlene takes us on a trip. Psst, she’s still a skank but I didn’t say that – Mary Alice

That Retro Blog

Hi! I am Marlene, the foul mouthed domestic diva!

If you are like me, you hate going to the grocery store. Fuck, I mean you love it. Yes, what woman doesn’t adore coming up with nutritious meals every damn night for her family?

This twitch in my eye has been getting worse and worse.

The only thing that makes it worthwhile is watching Ed the stock boy ogling my firm bosom while I reach down to squeeze the melons.

Hmmm, that’s right Eddie. Baby like milk.


You can stretch a meatloaf longer than your husbands skid marked undies. Just douse the whole fucking works with ketchup, and viola!

Add noodles and you have spaghetti!

Meatball submarines anyone?

This leaves us with four more family dinners to pull out of our ass. Inspiration usually strikes me in the liquor aisle, right next to the Tom Collins mix.

After that, I head…

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