Ask Mary Alice

If you haven’t already, come visit Merbear and me on our new blog The Wonder Twins, the snarkiest retro blog on the Internetz (according to my total non-research). Today Mary Alice (professional housewife) is offering advice for us girls (don’t we need it!)

That Retro Blog

Have a question?  Just ask Mary Alice, professional housewife. (Psst, avoid that skank Marlene.)

Mary Alice,

My husband thinks I should always be in high heels and pregnant.  But he won’t buy me shoes, and I already spent my allowance on food.  What should I do?

Shoeless in Seattle


Dear Shoeless,

Your husband is a busy man.  He has to keep you pregnant and work at his real job while you eat bon bons.  Since you wasted your money on food, I suggest you convince him that pregnant and barefoot is the way to go.  I’m sure it will catch on.

Mary Alice


Dear Mary Alice,

When I clean the kitchen floor with my fabulous new cleanser, I see a bald man with an earring in the floor.  He winks at me.  I’m thinking of running away with him, but I don’t want to betray my husband.  What…

View original post 81 more words


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