Spam!

I have learned a lot posing as a squirrel on Facebook.  Yes, I’m still there.  Or rather, Squirrel is still there.  Possessed by a sugar rush, one day Squirrel went around “friending” all sorts of weird stuff.  Like the company that makes Spam.  So we get posts from them.  Lots of posts.  It’s far out.  One thing I can say – these people are really passionate about their work.  They even made a museum for Spam.

No I’m not kidding.  Even worse, they have a mascot.  I can prove it. (Click to Enlarge Pictures)

the horror . . . the horror

the horror . . . the horror

I just have to ask – why?  Why do we need a Spam museum?  What could they possibly have there?  Please say they do not have historical pieces of Spam on display.  That could get pretty nasty.  Maybe there’s towers of spam containers.  It’d be like shopping at Costco, except the only product would be . . . Spam.  Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  Or even . . . mouthwatering?

spam museum1

I totally have to go to Minnesota now, you guyz.

But wait, there’s more.  On World Photography Day (yeah that’s a thing too) Spam asked people to share pictures of their Spam.

Aw, look, a Spam!

Aw, look, a Spam!

Sooo like people take pictures of their Spam?  Do they pose the Spam certain ways?  Do they keep photo albums filled with only Spam photos?  If you have dumped out the photos of your children and replaced them with photos of Spam, you might have a problem.  Seek help immediately.

Would you like to show everybody you are a freaked out maniac Spam enthusiast?  Do you have no fashion sense?  Well, Spam has just the thing for you!  Check it out.  Spam Hats.

I can see so many uses for this.

I can see so many uses for this.

To keep things hip and interesting, Spam offers contests to win – you guessed it -more Spam and Spam products!  In this one, you just had to email your favorite Spam memory to the folks at Spam Central or wherever for a chance to win this lovely gift basket o’ Spam.  You’ll notice Squirrel offered up his own memory.  Sadly, it was not a winning one.  Ah, well.

spam up

I have to wonder – what is the grater for? Do we grate spam now? On the grill?

So I get these sorts of Spam posts all the time on Facebook.  But that’s not all.  I get Spam other places as well, like say this blog.  Okay, it’s not the sort of Spam you eat, or at least I wouldn’t advise it.  You really don’t know where this spam has been.  I’ve noticed lately that the usually excellent spam filter on WordPress has not been working as well.  Stuff is slipping through the old grater.  Either that or our spammers have gotten more clever.  Check out some of the comments that made it through to my blog.

Written by the cleverly disguised blogger “Site”: I am really glad to read this weblog posts which includes tons of valuable facts, thanks for providing such data.”

Quite the compliment, Site, but I’m a wee bit suspicious considering you got these valuable facts from one of my 50 Shades of Grey reviews.

Next up is “Raspberry Ketones Ultra” (how do they come up with these totally realistic blogger names?  I dunno!):

“My relatives every time say that I am wasting my time here at web, but I know I am getting familiarity every day by reading thes pleasant content.”

Yeah, sorry, but I’m afraid your relatives might be right.

And finally . . . “accountant bendigo” has this to say: “Hi there, I want to subscribe for this webpage to take hottest updates,
therefore where can i do it please assist.”

This comment was in response to a post I wrote with Merbear entitled “Alice and Merbear’s State of the Hoo-Ha Address.”  I think accountant bendigo is a pervert.  I might have to invite him over sometime.

Okay, well, that’s more than enough spam for one day.  Let’s see what’s for dinner . . . oh, man.

Spam DONUTS?  Why?  Just - whyyyyy?

Spam DONUTS? Why? Just – whyyyyy?

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38 responses

    1. Haha! I wonder if they play this song at the museum.

      1. I would imagine it’s on repeat all….day….long.

        1. Still beats “Call me maybe.”

          1. Elmo’s Song beats that.

          2. It is indeed. Now I kinda want some fried Spam…

          3. Green eggs and Spam, Sam I Am.

          4. I bet they have green spam at the museum.

          5. Wooooooot! I will find out one day. One day….

  1. Wow, that’s brilliant. It always amazing the strange things people post about. A friend of my briefly kept a facebook page for her pet rock. He made lots of friends but the mean facebook people deleted him. Poor Mister Rock

    ~ Amy

    1. They deleted the rock? You wouldn’t believe how many animals have their own facebook pages. Maybe facebook is prejudiced against non-animate objects.

      1. I was shocked too. I said she should start a rock protest page asking for his page back but she said it was fun while it lasted and the rock was retiring.

        My piggies have a facebook page and they had better not try deleting that or there will be words!

        ~ Amy

        1. Oooh are your piggies friends with Squirrel yet? He is Squirrelle Nutkin on there. (Cause they thought Squirrel was not a name.)

  2. Thanks for this post, I think I hate this FB-thingy more and more. Who deleted a site for a pet rock must be as cruelty as Freddy Kruger.

    1. I agree. Bring back Mr. Rock! Our cries shall be heard throught FB land . . .

  3. My spam comments have ended up being pages and pages of religious rants with shoe deals mixed in (Pink Air Jordans? They know who they are targeting, I guess…)

    In honor of the SPAM theme, I share this. Sadly, it has been discontinued. I guess when we said we wanted to put an end to silly spam, they thought we meant this:

    http://www.neatoshop.com/product/SPAM-Lip-Glaze-Balm

    1. Ew, lip balm? I just, no. I admit that I eat the stuff at times, okay, but make my lips taste like it? Yikes.

      Religious shoe rants. I keep getting the “ketones” guy, but I feel like lista de email may have abandoned me.

  4. A Spam museum I can understand (kind of), but Spam hats? Really? Oh hey Christmas is coming up, and you never know what to get those people you hate but don’t want them to know.
    I’m horrible.

    1. I suddenly have a great idea of what to get my inlaws!

  5. If loving Spam is wrong I don’t wanna be right, said no one ever.

    1. Lol, weirdly it seems to have a fan club of people willing to actually tell spam memories and go to the Spam museum. I guess everyone has their thing . . .

  6. Apparently, I need to learn Japanese, because for the past couple weeks, that’s the language in which my spam’s been served. And it’s long span. Takes forever to scroll down to that delete button…

    1. I’ve gotten a few in Japanese or Chinese, I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure they are still giving me insincere compliments and selling me enhancements.

  7. Mmm, Spam and Reeses…
    We used to get Spam for use on camping adventures with the boy scouts – it was cheap, it traveled well, and despite the salt content of an actual salt lick, it wasn’t all that unhealthy. I remember liking it… but it has been years since I’ve had some. I might have to grab some this weekend and see how it goes down.

    1. It’s not really that bad – I mean if you eat hotdogs, you can’t say too much about nutrition . . . .

      1. mmm, hot dogs and spam. I’m starving….

  8. Ah SPAM. So many good and bad things about Spam. By the way, that’s not a grater, it’s a slicer. Believe it or not, folks slice it, bread it, and deep fry it to make SPAM fritters.

    Personally, I think the stuff is nasty. Geordie Hormel thought so too, stating he would never recommend anyone actually eat it if they have a choice. Of course, therein lies the rub. SPAM can attribute much of its “success” to the fact that soldiers in WWII didn’t really have any choice other than starving.

    Still, I love it that this is where the type of SPAM we all detest got its name:

    1. the spam, spam, spam, spam, spam and eggs.

  9. Dammit, I was going to post the Weird Al video, and it was in the very first comment! So I’ll just compliment my fellow squirrel on his tribute to the almighty Spam, and continue to wonder if Treet is ever going to get any love from anyone….

    1. It’s sad when you’re the ugly stepsister of Spam.

  10. I’ve started eating Spam for lunch as I considered it more healthy than cheese, but since it looks like it’s about 90% fat and salt and smells like cat food I’m reconsidering (just kidding Mr Spam Lawyer, it’s wholesome and delicious).

    On the other spam topic, I got one the other day which said “I was on the lookout for this information for my mission”. This was on my post “Puppetmaster” in which a psycho uses his powers to force other people to do his evil will. Obviously I’ve reported the spammer to the police, I hope they catch him before he uses the information in my post to execute his “mission”.

    1. This “Puppetmaster” sounds a lot like my former evil boss. Considering that the spammers are also using my 50 Shades recaps for education, we have got some definite psychos out there we should be worried about.

  11. Here’s what they keep in Spam museum: spam comments, spam bloggers, spam e-mails, et cetera. They probably add a new wing every 15 minutes.

    1. I think they’d have to – what a terrifying place.

  12. I giggle like an idiot every time I listen to that song. “They key .. is going … to open the tin … the tin … is there … to keep the spam in … ”

    Seriously the makers of Spam should have paid Weird Al (and I guess REM too) for a new line of commercials during the late 80s.

    1. Exactly. I think Spam also makes a lot more sense than the original REM song too. Your head is there to move you around? You walk on your head? What?

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