You must push the start button on the dryer or your clothes don’t get dry.
Even if you push the button, they still won’t get dry the first time because something is off with the dryer and one day your husband might attempt to fix it whether he knows how or not, but you won’t even try because you know nothing about the internal workings of devices. For instance, electricity = magic.
The steam mop has attachments that look like a rifle. It’s fun to fire but doesn’t necessarily get the cleaning results you want.
Your family will actively plot against you and undo everything you’ve done.
Your husband will continue to insist on doing things his way, ie keeping his clean socks and underwear in a drawer in the bathroom and wadding up clothes and shoving them in the closet.
Your husband will also keep buying used vaporizers that are coated in dirt and probably mold and were made in 1970 so you will never find the filters for it and he will say “The thing has filters?” He will insist on using it.
You will keep forgetting to put on your dust mask and gloves (even though it’s fun to say “Paging Dr. Alice” and backing out doorways with your hands help up) because you got down and started scrubbing something and there’s no way you’re getting up again to get it. So you are breathing all the dust directly in when really you should be wearing the dust mask and not breathing at all.
The vacuum will not suck up everything.
When you vacuum curtains, be careful not to suck them into the vacuum cleaner. It will suck those up.
It costs more to have them take dyes and perfumes OUT of cleaning products.
When asked to clean, children must be monitored 24/7 so it’s like you’re just trying to manipulate puppets with the strings cut off.
Children will ask for breaks after five minutes of non-work. They will not see the giant sleeping bag in the floor of their bedrooms. They will suddenly have to go to the bathroom several times. They will fight over who has done the least work whereas it is almost always a tie.
No matter how much you research before buying, your fabulous cleaning contraptions will somehow backfire.
For cleaning up messes, you’re about as well off to get one of these (and store him outside).