The Sadz

I am still feeling the sadz, and it is really frustrating to feel sadz. I have no reason to feel that way, or to spell sadz with a “z”.  I just like spelling it that way because I can picture my former English teachers twitching every time I type it.  (Note: pictures done in crummy old paint, not my new graphics pad, because . . . too much trouble.)

Coming to blog posts near you.

Coming to blog posts near you.

But I was talking about sadz.  I have been struggling through work, even though people have made it hard on me.  For instance, patrons ask for crap.  Usually we don’t get that many people up there, but they seem to have sensed my sadz so now they are up in our little nook every freaking day.  And they want me to find them books or scan copies from ancient newspapers.

I hate the scanner.  I hate big bound newspapers.  I hate kindly old people who ask for impossible to scan projects that no one cares about.  Why does anyone care about football in the 1950s?  I don’t.  I don’t even care about football now.  But I am supposed to scan it cause it’s sort of my job.  It’s not like I have to cut people open.  That would be pretty scary.  I can just imagine a doctor saying “Sigh, I have to take his kidney out?  A-gain?  I’m tired.”  I mean, I sure would, but that’s why I’m not a doctor.

It's kind of hard to fit these papers in the scanner.  No, wait, it's impossible.

It’s kind of hard to fit these papers in the scanner. No, wait, it’s impossible.

But everything is monumental with the sadz.  Getting up in the morning for instance.  That’s a real pain.  I’d rather sleep.  Stuff happens too early.  And then the next day, the same stuff happens again, at the same time.  My alarm clock mocks me.  Hahahahahaha, sucker!  And then I have to get the Things up, who also do not want to get up, and then we have to somehow get to work and school without dying.  Sometimes it helps me to play “Shakedown” from Beverly Hills Cop and pretend like I’m a badass cop who is chasing down criminal parents in their SUVs.  Bus-ted.  But lately, I have not felt the urge to hunt down stupid people in my pretend cop car.  It’s too much trouble.

Last night I went to Hastings, a book and music store.  Ours is closing, which is double sadz because it is our only form of entertainment save Wal-mart.  The vultures have descended and now the place is a total wreck.  Employees could not give less of a crap at this point.  They know they’re not going to be there that much longer.  Sounds like an awesome job to me except for the long lines of customers buying up crap because, you know, sale.

Anyway, I wandered around in my awful big sweat pants (they fit!) and found nothing to buy.  I was hoping to find The Thing That Would Make Me Happy.  It was not at Hastings.  Hastings sucks.  So I got in my car, and then I cried.  About nothing.  And I drove home and I went to my room, and I laid on the floor and put my feet up on the bed.  I like laying on the floor with the sadz.  My husband thinks it’s annoying but I feel it adds a sense of drama to the whole thing to lay on hardwood floor.

sadz

Weirdly enough, laying like this helped me feel a little better.  The blood rushes to your head and your body kind of relaxes.  Technically it’s a lazy form of a lazy yoga move called legs up the wall, only my legs were on my bed.  I also had yoga blankets not three feet away but they were out of reach, so I just laid on the hard floor and stared up at the ceiling.  I had deep thoughts.

Like, hey, when you’re sadz, why do people tell you to think of all the good things you have?  Count your blessings, name them one by one.  Oh, yeah?  Well, bite me.  I mean, yes, I have blessings like a husband and Things and a house and food and all that stuff.  But that only makes me more sadz because now I’m guilty that I have this stuff but I’m not happy about it.

Also I eat too much food.  Pop tarts don’t make you happy.  They sure do taste nice, though.  Maybe I should send pop tarts to Africa.

Finally my family returned from church so I got off the floor.  Tomorrow is another day.  I hope I feel better then.  And I wish I had a better way to end this blog post.  Wait.  I know.

It's ME again!

It’s ME again!

Advertisements

70 responses

  1. ((Hugs)) I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. I wish there were something I could do.

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. I’m impressed that you gave the automated message to yourself.

      1. I’m nothing if not thorough. Actually, I’m just nothing. I’m hardly ever thorough.

  2. The sadz suck. 😦

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. I am attempting to answer comments again. Thank you for your patience, this is Alice, may I help you? Wait, I got confused. Yes, sadz sucks, but thank you for reading anyway.

  3. The sadz suck Alice. 😦 Don’t I know it.

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

      1. Tell her I lurve her. Lots.

        1. Your message will be answered in the order in which it was received. And will do.

    2. Yay I am back! But I think I’ll keep my answering machine. He is handy.

  4. What everyone else said…having the sadz suckz. ((hugs))

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

      1. Wow, this is awkward. I wouldn’t have given hugs if I had known they were going to be intercepted by a third-party commenter.

        1. Please stand by. Alice will answer your comment in the order in which it was received. Estimated wait time is not going to be calculated, because we had to call 911 for Sad Poneh.

          1. When the Imperial March is played as muzak, it becomes kind of catchy…

          2. Indeed. We have the best taste in hold music here.

    2. You should consider getting your own answering service. It’s useful. Dun dun dun dum de dum dum de dum . . .

      1. Let me know if you know of any competent, reliable sources for that sort of thing….

  5. The fact that you are making it into work, and able to post such a great post on just exactly how depression feels is commendable. I hope this “sadz” time gets out of dodge soon.

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. Me too. I feel slighly better and I’m trying to return my phone calls um blog comments. Thanks – making it into work is a huge challenge. I didn’t yesterday, but I had the excuse of a sick kid.

  6. To find “The Thing That Would Make Me Happy” is like a mission impossible. I hope you can chase the “SADZ” away.

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

      1. hahaha, hope the Poneh isn’t a dead horse :o)

    2. Sad Pony lives . . . so far. He seems to think he has been unfairly accused and mistook me for a pillow. He does have bad eyesight. I am still looking for the Happy THing. I imagine it something like a Tribble from Star Trek.

  7. Sadz are terrible. Can I tell you a secret? The happiez usually come from inside. It helps to get the right doc to give you the right meds, but then find something you’re good at – like making Sparkle Ponies with the Things – and try to do a little more of that. For me it’s usually knitting or writing, but everyone is different. And try to be gentle with yourself. You’re a good person doing your best to deal with a terrible disease in a world that really doesn’t understand you. *hugs*

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. Thank you, MM. While I had my answering service answer, I was reading everything. It is really hard when I can’t even bear to say read to the Things. I hate that. I am doing my best. Thank you so much.

      1. Been there honey, I know those blues. We know you’re fighting and that some days all the strength you have to fight with is what it takes to plaster on a smile so the normies will leave you the hell alone. Just remember that you can lean on us when you need to. And you never need to pretend for our sake. We love you just the way you are. ❤

  8. Sorry things suck for you, but I do like spelling Sadz with a z. It looks like an “Xtreme” 90’s style spelling, and that makes me happy. So at least one of us is happy, and that should serve as some consolation.

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. Sadz is great, like poneh for pony and kitteh for kitten. Everyone should adapt to our system.

      1. No, I don’t agree with poneh or kitteh.

        1. No poneh or kitteh? Blasphemer!

  9. ((hug)) I wish I could kick the sadz in the butt and send them away for you…

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

      1. Very well, that she flogs Sad Poneh, it should be punished badly for turning up!

        1. Indeed. She is giving him what-for currently. I had to stop watching. It was getting ugly.

    2. I’d like to kick Sadz in the butt too. I’d kick Sad Pony but he’d just say “Figures” and sigh deeply.

  10. A lot of times people with mental health diagnosis’ get in the dumps when fall and winter hit. Not saying you have seasonal depression, unless you do and I missed it because I’m so good at paying attention. Gah! I don’t know, but what I do know is that even people without seasonal depression can be affected by the seasons. I hope you feel better, Alice. Much love and hugs to ya! xo

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. I’m pretty sure I do have SAD (what an ironic shorthand), because I do get really miserable when I’m cold – it’s like I can’t get warm again. Also breathing in cold air is bad for asthma, so double wammy. Thanks for the hugs, I appreciate them.

  11. (((Hugs))) hope we can lunch next week! My mom is here w the happiz which generally gives me the Sadz, esp since it’s not the lets buy out Home Depot happiz more the throw confetti on your floor happiz and who cares about midterms… YeH good call skipping lunch w that! I have been looking for a punching bag, so we could tape pics of the Sadz to it and you could punch them… Punching imaginary people in the face helps me (I think it would help you too)which is why I don’t carry a gun…cuz prison orange is not my color!

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. Yes, your mom can give anyone the sadz or the wtfs at least. I like the punching bag idea, and yes, the gun would be a no no for me too. I don’t favor public showers either, ewww. We MUST do lunch if we have to hogtie your parents in the trunk.

  12. This post made me smile, and I hope it released some of your sadz….

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

      1. And here I always thought flogging the poneh was a male oriented euphemism….

        1. It’s a multifaceted term.

    2. It did release some sadz . . . also a storm trooper answering machine.

  13. I’m with everyone else, the sadz suck. *hugs*

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. Suck they do. Thanks for the hugs, I need them.

  14. Having the sadz sucks. But at least you have a storm trooper to help out on your blog. Thinking of you and hope the sadz lets up sometime soon

    1. Hello, you’ve reached Alice’s automated comment answering service. Alice is not available at the moment. She is currently flogging Sad Poneh for being an abusive ass. She will answer your comment at her earliest convenience.

      And, yes, Alice approves this message.

    2. He is very helpful. Maybe he will hire out his services? I am working on the sadz and hoping it fully lets up soon.

  15. I’m sorry you have the sadz. I hope they go away soon.

    1. Thank you Laura – nice avatar! Did you do that?

      1. Thanks! I’m not sure how much of the credit I get for the avatar — we had photos professionally done at work, and I picked my favorite one (really, the only one where I don’t look like I’m trying to figure out how “smiling” works) and ran it through Photoshop’s “fresco” filter.

  16. […] the late 80′s, it was impossible to dislike it.  If you’re having a horrible case of The Sadz, just watch the intro to the show.  I dare you not to go the whole 53 seconds without […]

  17. Popped in to see why Alice had a guest comment responder after she texted me about it. Wish I could help. I’d happily re-enact her favorite scene from Office Space.

    1. I’ll see if I can sneak out our scanner – that would be better to hit than the copier.

  18. Dear Sad Poneh,
    I don’t know how much Alice has flogged you at this point, but it probably isn’t nearly enough. I’m going to have the magicians in the Kingdom work on some curses aimed specifically at you. Doesn’t that sound “nice?” Perhaps then you’ll learn to leave Alica alone.
    Matticus

    1. Sad Pony believes he is already cursed with having to deal with Squirrel and life and all that. But I am trying to put him in his place.

      Alice

  19. Alice,
    Sorry to be late in replying. Is Sad Poneh still sat on your chest or have you managed to turf him off now?
    Love, hugs, and chocolate.
    Faith
    PS Don’t send Pop Tarts to Africa: they’ll not get to the starving, they’ll be stolen by customs officials in certain of the countries on that continent.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: