How to Skin a Sim: Death by Montezuma

That’s right, folks, everyone’s favorite clown is back!  Boppo!  Since we last left clownboy, Boppo’s life has not been going well.  Which is saying something since the last time we saw him I was drowning him in a swimming pool.  I was kind enough to restore the game and give him a ladder out.  And I even fed him – lots of Chinese food and pizza, cause it’s healthy, and causes massive amounts of garbage if one, say, does not happen to own a trash can. (Click to enlarge)

Last time on As the Clown Turns . . .

Last time on As the Clown Turns . . .

So garbage started piling up, which attracted flies and roaches that skittered all over the house.  Sure I could have just gotten that cheat that kills Sims right away, but where is the fun in that?  I really wanted to see Boppo’s misery for a while first.

How would he go this time?  Would the hamster in the smelly cage get hamster bite fever and bite him?  Would the flies swarm him?  What about all that spoiled food on the floor?  Surely he wasn’t going to eat that days old green, moldy piece of pizza . . . yes, yes he was.  Oh oh!

Oh, dear, Boppo has a touch of food poisoning.

Oh, dear, Boppo is never eating at Chuck E. Cheese again!

If you read the little bubble over his head, you’ll see the game is letting us know that poor Boppo has food poisoning and just needs some rest and he’ll be just fine.  So naturally I took away his bed.  And the sink.  And the shower.  And the toilet.

Fun Fact: Clown puke is multicolored and makes squeaky sounds!

Fun Fact: Clown puke is multicolored and makes squeaky sounds!

Cheer up, Boppo.  I mean sure you’ve been puking for a while, but at least you haven’t suffered any other ill effects . . . oh, wait.

Anything to declare Boppo?

So dear Boppo lives in garbage with his Montezuma’s Revenge.  I wondered how long it would take for him to die of this.  Turns out – days.  During this time, Social Worker came and took the toddler and Boppo cried for a few seconds before nagging me for a shower.  Sheesh.  If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

Whine, moan, blah blah.  Man up, Boppo.

Whine, moan, blah blah. Man up, Boppo.

He also wanted to rest, and yet his bed had somehow disappeared.  Also, the chairs started vanishing as well.  Boppo tried to sleep standing up.  I woke him up.  He fell on the ground.  I woke him up again.  But I am not a cruel monster.  I gave him food.  Sure, it was spoiled, but he wasn’t starving!  Wee Wee the poodle was also fed well – you know how dogs love garbage!  He wet on the floor and then drank it.   Wee Wee you silly dog!

Boppo was really living up to his name.  He was sadfaced and close to death.  But first, our clown buddy plopped onto the floor and went screaming yellow bonkers.  Ever seen a clown have a nervous breakdown before?  No?  Well, you’re in luck!

Aw, poor Boppo lost his mind.

Aw, poor Boppo lost his mind.

Luckily for Boppo,  a shrink appeared out of nowhere, hypnotized him, and suddenly he was no longer quite so nuts.  I felt a little bad for him then, and gave him back his sink and toilet.  Which was awesome, until right after this, he dropped dead.  A neighbor stopped by and observed.

Death be not proud, Boppo.

Death be not proud, Boppo.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any wackier, Death appeared and zipped Boppo up, or I’m guessing down, to Clown Hell.  But then he curiously hung around for a while.  And took a pee in the toilet.  No, seriously.

Death has to take a leak too.  Who knew?

Death has to take a leak too. Who knew?

So, another death down, how many to go?  Only time and the reaches of my insanity will tell.  So everyone say bye bye, Boppo.

Byeee Boppo!

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36 responses

  1. Bye Bye Boppo! I had no clue that clown puke is colorful and makes noises. Think Barnum&Bailey should only hire food poisoned clowns, that would be more fun for all (except the clowns)

    1. Hey, good point. Just give the clowns fair food and let ’em loose!

  2. Are those stink smells wafting off the garbage? That’s pretty amazing…oh and RIP Boppo.

    1. Did you happen to see the 50 Shades Edition? I think you would enjoy watching Ana and Christian getting electrocuted, smashed by a sattelite, etc.

  3. Hey, Death has to hold it all the way from Hell! Don’t judge.

    1. I guess so. I like how they blur him when he sits down even though he seems to have none of these, uh, parts.

      1. Well, he has to have SOMETHING if he’s peeing.

  4. I wouldn’t want to be the next one to use the toilet after Death…..

    I hope he has the Boppo household on speed dial, though. More, more, more!!!!

    1. I DO love your enthusiasm! Boppo not so much.

  5. I don’t know why, but I’m really glad that I know Death pees too.

    1. You can identify so much more with someone when you know they pee too. Like models. They pee. Also poop.

  6. I’ve never played Sims, but if I ever do, I’m not so sure I’d want you controlling my world. Poor Boppo…

    1. We had to fill out this survey for Secret Santa and one of the questions was “If I ruled the world (blank)” I filled in “We would be in big trouble.”

      1. Hahaha. Good answer. 🙂

  7. I think something must be wrong with me. I suddenly have the urge to actually play the Sims again, something I haven’t done since Sims 2 was brand-spanking new.

    1. Torturing them brings a whole new level to the game.

  8. This is so, so sick. Can’t wait to show my husband!

    Also, I feel like Death would leave the toilet seat freezing cold. Beware the buns of the next user!

    1. No kidding. Wow, honey, why does this toilet smell like Death?

  9. dude, is this a real sims game??

    1. Yup! Sims 2. Fun, fun, fun.

  10. Poor clowny. *mourns for a moment* What’s next?

    1. There’s so much to choose from!

  11. The Sims health plan is really weird. Apparently it covers shrink house calls but not antibiotics.

    1. It is odd. They should really have better pool insurance as well, considering the number of “accidents”.

  12. Poor Boppo I can’t help but think the clown must have done something to deserve his fate. What a way to go.

  13. At least Boppo went with an empty bladder and a mind clear of insanity. Dignity in death for Boppo!

    1. Oh I dunno, he went with the makeup and costume . . .

      1. That’s true. You could at least have stripped him down to his comedy underpants before he shuffled off.

  14. Boppo torture is awesome! Death peeing was very odd, who would have thought Death pees?

    1. Maybe there are no toilets in Hell and he REALLY had to go?

  15. Death and poo/pee are closely related.

    1. I can see that. When I have Montezuma’s, I feel like death.

  16. I look forward to the next installment. I want to know how you’re going to kill Boppo next!

    One of my alter-egos is Susan Sto Helit from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. She’s the adopted granddaughter of Death. Death eats curry, and has called the Pale Horse by the name of Binky. So you shouldn’t be surprised at Grandfather going to the toilet. Just don’t ask how – in the same way it’s best not to ask how he eats the curry.

    1. Makes sense. I’ve been meaning to read the Discworld series, but I can’t seem to make it through this article of Cosmo I’ve been trying to read for the last two weeks.

      1. Skip the first two books and watch the film “Colour of Magic”. It’s close enough. There’s cartoon versions of “Soul Music” and “Wyrd Sisters” which are very close to the books. “Hogfather” and “Going Postal” have also been made into films. That will just leave you with another *counts on fingers* 33 books to read…

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