Sesame Street High

Some friends and I (I will protect their guilt by using their initials T.D. and Merbear.) were discussing Sesame Street the other day.  There is much you may not know about this place (people still can’t figure out how to get there, for instance.)  Then we discovered this breaking report from Fox News that revealed all.  We will pass on our fair and off balance summary to you.

What did the Fox say?  Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

What did the Fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

If you donate to PBS, Big Bird will hook you up with some good drugs.

Big Bird’s nest is an EPA danger zone.

Rumor has it Grover gave the beat down to Elmo.  Finally.

Elmo is not so fly as he may appear.

Elmo is not so fly as he may appear.

Prairie Dawn only acts like she has a stick up her butt (which she does but, nevermind).  In reality, she’s a skank.

Telly Monster is no longer addicted to television.  Now he does strange things with triangles.  Oscar could give you more details.

Ernie was awfully fond of Rubber Duckeh.  He did make bath time lots of fun.  Ducketh was ready to sue before Ernie’s untimely, uh, disappearance. Boop boop e doo.

Ernie, I wouldn't push my luck if I were you . . .

Ernie, I wouldn’t push my luck if I were you . . .

Ernie stole Bert’s nose for the final time.  Bert is now a serial killer.  Word is that Ernie can now be found in pieces in Bert’s dresser drawer.

Kermit has questionable motives.

People tried to give Cookie Monster veggies, but he said heck with that and barfed on them.  Observe.

If you think about it, the Count is kind of attractive in a non-sparkly kind of way.  He got a job at a government agency.  One, two billions of dollars in debt!

This post brought to you by the number 666 and the letter eh.

We are all going to Hell.

27 responses

  1. EH! I love that letter!!

    1. It is the best letteh eveh!

  2. One two three, three orgasms, hahaha!!

      1. That was sarcasm Leo.

        1. One, two, three oooh snaps!

  3. Loved your ‘What did the Fox say” caption. Are you hearing that question non-stop by your kids, too? My youngest can’t seem to let that one go. Sure wish he would…

    1. Don’t forget, the elephant goes “toot.”

      1. I hope that’s referring to a sound and not a bodily function. 😉

        1. well…
          I was referring to a certain song… but, you can read it however you want.

          1. I have a feeling elephants can toot from both ends.

    2. I tripped up my toddler cousin once by asking her what sound a rabbit made. She sat there for a moment, then said “Hop, hop.”

  4. Do I have to provide myeh own handbasket?

    1. Handbaskets are complimentary. Satan is trying to improve his image.

  5. I guessed it, serial killers, thieves, dealers and floosies. No wonder that my parents had to examine my room every evening before I went to bed. I had a bad phobia for Oscar the grouch :o)

    1. Homeless guy living in garbage – still I liked him better than a lot of the others. A break from the relentless cheerfulness.

  6. Cookie Monster is my spirit Muppet.

    1. He is my fav-o-rite eveh. Don’t let them take your cookies Cookie Monsterrrrrr!

  7. How is that taxidermy of Mr. Snuffleuppagus coming along?

    1. It’s tough because only some of the taxidermists can see him.

  8. “Prairie Dawn only acts like she has a stick up her butt (which she does but, nevermind). In reality, she’s a skank.”

    Oh no! my (now 13 year old) nephew used to call me Prairie Dawn when he was little…what does that say about me?

  9. That stupid fox needs to shut the hell up! That’s what I say!

    1. I agree. It was cute. The first time.

  10. I always knew there was something shady about Sesame Street…

    1. It’s always the quiet, furry, purple ones . . .

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