Merry Christmas, George Michael

Ah, George.  You with your dangly earrings and your bedazzled jeans!  That charming way you shake your butt right in front of the camera!  I heart you, truly, man.  Nevermind those peeps who say you’re a has-been freak.  You’re still tops in my book.  Like, how could anyone forget that classic “Wake me up before you go-go?”  And then when you rhymed that with yo-yo?  Lyrical genius!  I know my heart strings went “Wham!” on that one.

The yellow fingerless kitchen gloves paired with the pink shirt make the perfect look!

The yellow fingerless gloves paired with the pink shirt make the perfect look!

And “Careless Whisper” makes so much sense and is so true to life and all that stuff.  Who hasn’t experienced the feeling of no rhythm because your feet are too guilty?  I sure have.  That’s why I can’t dance.  Feet guilt.

What about “Father Figure”, huh?  “Put your tiny hand in mine.”  That’s just so cute, and not creepy.  I mean, not once did I think about adding the lyrics “Would you like some candy / go hop in this van of mine.”  Not even when you said “Sometimes love can be mistaken for a crime.”  I mean, that’s totally understandable there.  Sometimes love is, um, criminal and prosecuted by law and um . . .

People just don't understannnnnd!

People just don’t understannnnnd!

People just don’t have “Faith” in you, George, but ya gotta have faith.  You gotta have faith a faith a faith – ba-by!  And I do, George!  Despite your subtle, unassuming nature, I can really feel your tender love ballads, especially “I want your sex.”  Talk about romantic.  I remember parents being concerned about that song when I was a kid.  I bet they wish they could have your songs back now, George!

Not to mention your butt!

Not to mention your butt!

It’s Christmas time again, George, and you remember what happened “Last Christmas”?  You gave some girl your heart and she gave it away like the VERY NEXT DAY?  Talk about rude!  Especially since heart transplants are really hard to come by.  You don’t have to worry about that with me, George, because I am here forever and ever!  I watch your video “Last Christmas” every chance I get.  It’s so groovy and modern, and your feathery hair just sets me a’flame, Georgie.  Hang on while I get my skies!

Love your greatest fan ev-er,


54 responses

  1. Reblogged this on Knocked over by a feather and commented:
    I am still laughing…

  2. You’ve just been reblogged by me! Happy Sparky Christmas to you!

    1. I saw! You are awesome, Wonder Twin! You can be my preacher, teacher, I mean – friend!

  3. I’m disturbed by the fact that I understood every single reference you made regarding Mr. George Michael. I fear that, despite all the drinking I did during that era, I retained this information in my brain. Which likely means I’ve forgotten something very important…like my child’s name or where the car keys are…

    1. Michelle, me too. *sob*

      1. Guilty keys ain’t got no rhythm . . .

    2. I routinely lose my glasses, that I wear everyday, and yet remember all those stupid songs, so I get ya.

    3. I was too young to drink and I still understood the references. I’m thinking that his equates to abuse and my parents have some explaining to do.

      1. Aw, it’s okay. Put your tiny hand in mine.

        1. You know I’m all about that!

          1. Anything you have in mind? 😉

          2. Um, skipping in the park?

          3. We could go skiing. I’ll loan you my big furry parka I stole from George!

          4. Woooooot! Do I get to shake my tush, too? I hope I don’t wham into a tree…

          5. Yeah, that whamming into a tree was accidental – at least that’s what George said in the police report.

          6. He never was a good liar…

  4. Well this is embarrassing, I thought Miss E’s heartthrob Justin Bieber was responsible for the “Last Christmas!” I hate that song….. I wish that guy would just go-go, he makes me ba-r-f-y!

    1. Taylor Swift does a version too! I’ll loan you ours!

      1. If you do, I will deposit a puppy in backyard!

  5. This makes me so, so happy.

    I mean, not as happy as George Michael’s full, lustrous, thickly permed hair, but close.

    *Sigh* Hair envy. I have it.

    1. I do love his hair. And his pouty, stubbly face.

  6. If ever asked, “Who is the other guy in Wham?” you should simply answer “George Michael.” That’ll teach them to be more specific in their question asking.

    1. I was thinking that same thing. It’s George Michael and – that other George Michael. In some of the pictures you can’t tell which is which.

        1. I like that – guyliner. You should market that, stat. You could bring in a glam revival.

          1. I think it’s a little late for that. You’ve never heard that term used before?

          2. I hadn’t. But now I shall treasure it in my heart.

  7. Your sincerity really shines through in this post, Alice!!

    Kidding aside, you should listen to “Listen Without Prejudice” without, ahem, prejudice. I can tell you have a deep appreciation of George Michael’s earlier works, so you might be disappointed in it…

    1. I haven’t heard that one. Right now Careless Whisper is running through my head. “I’m never gonna dance againnnn . . . .”

      1. Thanks a lot.

        At least that has now replaced the Taylor Swift goat remix that I’ve had in my head.

        1. Taylor Swift remixed with a goat? I must see links!

          1. Oh, you are in for a treat. Just google it 🙂

  8. I had to chuckle about how parents overreacted so much when George released that first solo album, Faith. I guess they just couldn’t fathom the Macarena looming in the future.

    Sadly enough, I remember just about every GM tune out there. I was never a fan, nor did I purchase any of his albums. But I did hear him just about everywhere and, well, I have to admit, one could do a heck of a lot worse than good-ol’ George Michael of Wham! when it comes to music from that era.

    1. True. Boy George for instance.

      1. One of my earliest memories is of listening to “karma chamelion” in my aunt and uncle’s beige Toyota…

        1. karmakarmakarmakarmakarmacha-me-leonnnnnn!

          1. You come and goooooooo, you come and goooOOOOoooOOOO!!!

  9. I love George Michael and Wham. Geewiz – Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – is priceless and soooo much fun to break out and dance to – I return to College and my first year after college when I lived in NYC – what wonderful memories. I will always love George:)

    1. Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to hate on ’em if I didn’t know all his stuff so well somehow . . .

  10. I still want to know how a band that always had about twenty people on stage with them in their videos was somehow only a duo…. George Michael and…. um… the other George Michael….

    “Edge of Heaven” was George’s last hit as Wham, and it’s one of my favorite songs of the whole decade!

    1. I don’t remember that song. I’ll have to look it up. Oh, and those other guys were “back-ups”, although Oates was kind of a back up to Hall but got equal credit. Hmm.

      1. Yeah, I already did a rant post on that before… if the same dudes are always hanging around playing with the band, as far as I’m concerned, they should be in the band! I learned about music watching videos on MTV, so I always just assumed everyone who was jamming on stage was in the band!

  11. I heart this post. I heart George Michael. I heart Wham!

    1. Wooot! Yes, I admit I own a lot of those songs and even find myself humming along – but his videos still crack me up.

  12. Worst Christmas song evar!

    1. I dunno. I think “Christmas Shoes” still wins, at least in the sanctimonious nauseating category.

  13. I can’t figure out why he didn’t stick to his birth name, “Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou”. It’s much snappier, don’t you agree?
    Bit of trivia – the “other George Michael” as we’re calling him apparently lives in Cornwall, just like me! Woot 🙂

    1. It IS pretty snappy. Oh, Georgios! Like Fabio, only with less chin! And the other George Micheal is like your neighbor? What does he do now? Has VH1 ever showed up?

      1. I’m guessing he’s living the high life off his royalties!

        I Googled VH1 – a US cable TV show? If so, I’ve seen no sign! Cornwall county has half a million people in it so “neighbour” is a relative term 🙂

        1. VH1 started out like MTV – playing music videos. Now they mostly do “Behind the Music” crapola documentaries, or “Where are they Now” specials – which is why I thought they might know what happened to George’s other half.

          Half a million peeps? And you don’t know most of them? What’s with you? Aren’t they all facebook pals? 😀

          1. I just checked and I only have 36 Facebook chums (people I know or WordPress bloggers).
            I’m falling behind!
            I need to get out there and get noticed 🙂

  14. I’ve just regressed to being five again. Thanks, Alice!!

    1. You have to grow older, but you never have to get more mature!

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