Independence Day

“Talk about your revolution.  It’s Independence Day.”

         Martina McBride

fireworks

Recently, I’ve come to know some new bloggers.  I’ve also gotten to know some better than I did before.  And that’s because someone spoke out.  Her name is Calamity Rae.  She writes about abuse, and how people are bullied into being quiet.  She’s not being quiet anymore.

“Some folks whispered and some folks talked

  But everybody looked the other way.”

How often do we do this?  I don’t like confrontation, I really don’t.  In fact, I’m actually much less brave as myself than I am as Alice.  But Alice and the writer behind her are not so far apart.  We get closer everyday, and I get braver every day.  You see, I’m generally a very meek person.  Don’t laugh, I really am.  When I am picked on, I get quiet.  I let it happen.  I am the perfect victim, because bullies know they can get away with it.  They know I’ll be too afraid to confront them, especially when they hold some sort of power.  And that, my friends, is how they get even more power.  Silence.

A little over a year ago, I became friends, or I thought I did, with a blogger.  He called himself Le Clown.  Do you know how hard it was to type that sentence right there, to point out that name?  Again, I hate confrontation.  And I will not bring this subject up again.  I know it’s exhausted.  But I also know that I will not feel right until I give my view on it.

We met during a blogroll contest.  It was goofy and a lot of fun.  So many people got into it.  You see, his blog was like this big virtual playground.  People met, got to know one another, followed each other, became friends.  Friends built around one figure, this benevolent guy who promoted other people.  After jumping through dozens of weird hoops, along with others so it wasn’t quite so strange, I actually made it onto his coveted blogroll.  I only did so with the help of other bloggers.  People liked me, and gave me their clown noses.  Yeah, that’s how the points were counted.

He seemed like a genuinely nice, funny guy.  Maybe he was and he changed.  I don’t really know for sure.  But things started changing when he was freshly pressed, and quickly afterward, so were many of his circle.  I was once a part of that circle, but I did not get the honor several others were getting.  It stung a little, but I tried to be a good sport about it.  Then I saw a blogger who’d been pressed for the fourth time, and her attitude about it was atrocious.  She basically yawned about the honor so many wanted.  So I wrote a post about it, mostly stating that I felt like WordPress should give the many other great writers a chance first, before going with the same few people over and over.

This displeased the clown.  He let me know in a comment.  It was the first negative comment I’d ever gotten, and it wasn’t the only one.  I took down my post and put up one explaining why.  Then I got people who said “Hey, why take it down?  You have a right to your opinion.”  So I decided to put it back up.  Okay, it wasn’t my proudest day, but I figured, no big deal.

Oh, but it was a big deal.  I got an email right after from Le Clown that stated that I had just been defriended on facebook, and my blog unfollowed.  He said I made him uncomfortable, and that I was rude, not funny.  It was like someone had pulled the rug out from under me.  Here I thought I had found a fun, safe place to be.  And then someone I admired, someone I trusted, just told me my writing was no longer for him. But not just that.  He told me I was bothering him somehow, and had been for a while.  .  It made me feel horrible.  I was not only a lousy writer, I was some annoying gnat that bothered him?

I have depression.  My writing is too much a part of me, but it’s the most important thing in my life, and always has been.  I don’t blame him for my depression, or for my identifying too much with my art.  But his words did set off a depressive spiral that took a long time to return from.  In fact, I don’t think I ever felt over it until Rae wrote her post.

You see, after I was dumped from the “cool table”, I continued to follow his followers.  So many of his friends were my friends.  I saw him honor them with guest posts and other accolades.  Each time it felt like a dart to the heart.  Why wasn’t I included?  What had I done that was so wrong?  Other people said stuff far worse than I ever had.  Why was he mad at me?  How had my writing become bad so suddenly?

I wanted to talk to someone, and I tried a couple of people, but they all had the same opinion.  Shut up.  No one will believe you over him.  It will sound like sour grapes.  He’s too powerful, has too many followers.  So I did shut up, and I kept it all inside.  And it threatened to swallow me whole.

I know I sound overdramatic, and I know that I have not gone through anything truly terrible like so many others have.  I have several blogger friends who write about abuse they’ve suffered, abuse no one should ever have to endure.  Some stay anonymous out of fear, rightly felt, that their abuser might find them again.  Some choose to show themselves.  I admire these people so much.  I don’t think I could be that strong in their situation.

But the sad thing is that there are those who prey on those who have already been victimized.  They have radars.  They spot the weak.  I know this because I’ve been the bullied, meek little mouse most of my life.  I have always wanted to please people, have searched for approval everywhere I go.  Never would I dare fight back – what would they think of me?  It was the same with the blog.  How can I say anything?  That would be social media suicide.

Rae knew this as well, but she spoke up anyway.  What happened to her was far worse.  He’d said things to her that were disgusting, and uncalled for, and when she protested, he didn’t stop.  But it was the public lashing Le Clown had his friends give one of her friends that got her to speak out.  Often we will do for others what we will not do for ourselves.

So she outed him.  Not with stories or anecdotes or hearsay, but with actual evidence.  Screenshots of emails with his face, his words.  Yet people will still deny that it’s real.  People will still look away.

But not everyone will.  When I saw that she was brave enough to stand up, I felt the least I could do was comment.  So after some trepidation I briefly told my story.  And then, to my amazement, a few more people did.  And then more people.  Many of these people I knew, yet I’d had no idea they too had been bullied and pushed around by him.  All this time, we could have been helping each other.  But we kept quiet.  Because that’s what good people do, right?

Yet when her post went up, we found each other.  Rae held up her one candle.  It was one tiny light in the darkness.  But other candles joined hers, and the light got brighter and brighter. People got braver and braver.  They joined in the chorus. Some wrote their own posts.  Others reblogged.  Some people reblogged the reblogs.

“Let freedom ring, let the white dove sing

  Let the whole world know that today is a day of reckoning.”

Rae has gotten quite a bit of flack from all of us “teaming up” on one person.  But they don’t understand that he has teamed up on so many, using his followers to put people in their place.  Over and over again.  If he is the victim now, it is only because he victimized so many others.  Karma really is a bitch.

“Let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong

 Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay

  It’s Independence Day”

At this moment, it seems his blog is shut down.  I don’t know if it will stay that way.  I’m sure he’ll be back, and have more followers eventually.  And I know there are many who still support him, and that’s their choice.  I don’t blame people for not speaking up, because it is very scary.  But for those that did, I thank you, more than you will ever know.  For once, I feel like there has actually been some justice.

“Maybe it’s right and maybe it’s wrong

  But maybe it’s the only way

  Talk about your revolution

  It’s Independence Day.”

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110 responses

  1. I am so damned proud of you, Alice.

    1. Thanks for your support, always, WT.

  2. I am unfamiliar with what’s going on here, other than the fact that I got an email notification saying that his blog was closed.

    I read Calamity Rae’s post, can you point me to any other posts I can read to get caught up?

    Thanks.

    1. If you look on that post, you’ll see notifications of reblogs and pinkbacks – you’ll find the other posts then.

      1. I tried to find Calamity Rae’s post but that page has been “deleted by the authors”? 😦

        1. Yes, she shut down the blog with all the backlash from anonymous emailers. Hopefully she’ll be back when it dies down.

  3. I cannot imagine how difficult this was for you to share, Alice. (((hugs))) to you.

    Know that I am on your side though I haven’t said anything before now. I hate to say it is because I haven’t had the strength while fighting my own battles, but it is the truth. If that makes me a lousy friend, bloggity or otherwise, then I own it and apologize. Please know that my silence hasn’t meant complicity or judgement.

    This just proves how very strong you and everyone else are. I am glad you stood up. I am sorry you are not the only victim but the response from others to share their stories and the new/expanded network of friends have to be the silver lining to this toxic cloud.

      1. Before he became an online predator and abuser he did it to the people in his surroundings: at work, at his son’s daycare, cheated on his wife (1st on) several times. This was 10 years ago…Same M.O. as described in the numerous posts that I have read..This is creeping me out. He’s a dangerous man.

  4. Glad you rose above this cloud of obviously toxic crap. Good on you!!!

    1. Thanks, Annie. I had a lot of help.

  5. (hugs) Alice. I know you’ve been holding on to this for a long time. I’m glad you’re finally able to talk about it and hopefully move past it.

    1. You’ve had my back a while, TD, and I will always appreciate it. Thank you.

      1. You’re very welcome.

  6. The abuse towards you was no better than the abuse towards CR it’s abuse and it’s painful period. You have such courage speaking up. I’m truly sorry that you were hurt by him. xo

    1. I am sorry for your pain as well. You and so many others are a real inspiration to me.

      1. I’m okay just sad that he hurt so many. How are you doing since all of this has come out?

        1. A little overwhelmed, I think. I had to have some encouragement to post this. It still feels weird . . . amazing what can happen, though, when the meek band together. Perhaps we’ll inherit the blogosphere?

          1. I can imagine you would be, it surfaces everything again eh?! I’m so glad you posted. He only has power if we don’t speak and we did, now at least for the moment he’s shut down. Maybe we will inherit! Hugs xo

  7. Alice- my heart is so heavy and your words are familiar – I never had a confrontation but noted the others that happened and I stayed quiet when I should have spoken up….there was generous side but now it seems a very troubled and bombastic side that has to be realized. I don’t know what happened – it was all so fun and loving – and then it quietly became clear that there was a dark underside happening. Thanks for writing this – you did not deserve any of what you were subjected to. You are a good writer so keep writing.

    1. Thanks, Denise. I don’t blame you for not speaking up. I didn’t either till recently. There is more than one side of him, and I think maybe he let power go to his head. You are a great writer too – librarians stick together, yo.

        1. I’ve been to the Texas Library Association Conference a few times, and to a district meeting of ALA, but never to the big, bad ALA. It’d be cool to go sometime.

          1. I have been to several – mostly as a student (I got to work in the Public Information Office one time and met Tom Brokaw – it was so cool. The ones in DC, SF and NO are my favorites!

            I haven’t been in years b/c I’m not working in a library anymore but I’d love to go – it would be fantastic to meet up with you there and Speaker7… we could form our own librarian-blogger round-table.

          2. That would be cool. My favorite was when I got to meet Dave Barry. Wooot!

  8. Glad you’ve stuck around even after such a negative experience. I always enjoy reading you.

    1. Thank you, Speaker. You were one of the first I followed, and who followed me. I appreciate your support. Hopefully our brains will one day recover from the horror of 50 Shades.

      1. Speaker7 was one of the first bloggers I followed too – she’s fantastically and wickedly funny…and a librarian – so really – that’s the common thread of fantastic!

        1. It really is! And yes, she’s hilarious. I think I’ve read some of her posts with Hugo and Goofy more than once. Fuckballs, librarians rock!

          1. I’m going to print out this thread so I can refer to it when people say librarians are obsolete. You guys rock the casbah too!

          2. Librarians rock!!! (I’m sure you won’t mind an independent opinion) Especially the ones who don’t constantly tell people to shut up.

  9. You go, honey – speak your truth and let the world decide. You know what’s right and what he did and that’s all that matters. We all know what an amazing woman you are and how incredibly funny your writing usually is (it’s not only when you don’t want it to be funny). *hugs*

    1. Aw, thank you MM! I love compliments and then I get them and don’t know what to do with them! I appreciate your comments on my blog and your kick-ass attitude. Hear us roar, eh?

  10. You are a great blogger with a unique and awesome voice, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And if there is a bully out there thank you for naming them, you may have saved many people from going through what you went through! Thanks for being so brave 😀

    1. I hope some people were warned, at least to stay wary. I mean, we shouldn’t fear everyone, but we have to be cautious. I know that now. But I also know there are a lot of awesome people out there too, some I didn’t realize. Thank you for reading my blog, and for your support.

      1. Exactly. And you’re welcome, your blog is always interesting 🙂

  11. Waving a flag for your independence, adn shouting it from the rooftops.
    Don’t be silent. Your voice is too valuable.

    1. Guap, it’s great to have gotten to know you again. You are an awesome guy.

      1. Agreement all around – about Alice and El Guapo… be genuine and be yourself – that’s the most beautiful thing that you can be – and anyone that tells you otherwise is not worth listening to – to tell someone what you were told is completely unnecessary – to reach out to HURT SOMEONE – I cannot concieve it.

  12. Thumbs up! I’ve been known to speak up but I do have moments when I just let things be because I don’t really like confrontations and that’s when I don’t really feel right. Incidentally, I posted in my Facebook account the other day: “In life, if you don’t speak, then just hold your peace and suck it all in. But then, who suffers in silence? Sometimes, if you know you are right, better be un-safe than sorry. What matters more, telling the truth that you know is right, or just taking things sitting down when you know there’s a chance of them getting worse? If you suck everything in, how sure are you that you will never, ever reach boiling point and burst anyway? Then you better be prepared ’cause things might just blow up in your face. So much for being safe…”

    1. Wise words, there. I’ve spent too long being “safe” and the place you think is safe, isn’t always. Sometimes you can step into the unknown and find more safety than you’d have ever found in hiding.

      1. Thank you for your post. It inspired to share poems (linked to your post here) and a real story.

  13. I’m guessing the fame went to the man’s head. And also that he’s so blinded by the past wrongs done to him that he can’t see that he’s capable of wronging others. Not forgetting that his whole professional career is based on his being able to bullshit people – er, I mean advertising. People like that ought to come with a warning label.
    Love you, Alice, for seeing through the bullshit.

    1. Thanks, faith. I didn’t see through it soon enough, and I certainly don’t blame those who were still in his corner when this went down. How would they know? He IS very good at what he does.

      Really, all clowns should come with warning labels. They just freak me out.

      1. And I missed everything due to being too busy throughout December to be able to read people’s posts. I do agree with your sentiment about the warnings. Are you going to continue to torture Boffo?

      2. This clown seems to have thrown all his toys out of the pram… BBW and Outlier Collective are both down too. Nice to see how grown up some people can be…

        1. thrown his toys out of the pram . . . haha!

          1. Thought you’d appreciate that image somehow!!

  14. So happy you stayed and kept on writing, Alice. I’ll keep on reading you. I’m just sad and very upset right now so many bloggers have been affected by this. I can’t imagine what others are feeling right now. For me, blogging is simply about creating a place where one can have the freedom to express themselves in a safe, respectful, supportive environment. Nothing less will ever do.

    1. I agree. It is a big mess right now, but hopefully it will settle down soon. In the wake of destruction, I’ve found new bloggers to read, and found again old bloggers I’d fallen away from. So some good things have come from this mess.

  15. I’m proud of you, too. I think this week has been scary and confusing for a lot of people, but I’m coming out of it feeling smarter and more empowered. There is strength in numbers. Eric knew that, that’s why he would sic his carnies on people’s posts to harass and demean.

    But eventually, he was bound to mess with the wrong broad, and she was Rachel. If she hadn’t reached out to me to see how I was feeling about my Facebook lashing, I don’t know what would have happened. I don’t think either of us would have gone on blogging much longer, it left that bad of a taste in our mouths.

    When she decided to write the post, we emailed back and forth a lot about the tone of the post. She didn’t want to seem overly emotional. Just facts. And when she emailed me “it’s live” my hands were shaking. We are both new bloggers and we couldn’t imagine what the backlash might be.

    And then you spoke up. And Maggie. And Ashley. And more women. And I realized, this is a real thing. This guy really is doing these things.

    I know we all felt so validated. And now the circus has left town, Le Creep has crawled under his rock, and I have all these great new blogs to catch up on.

    It’s a great day in the blogosphere.

    1. I can’t imagine what that must have been like, having all those people lashing out at you like that. It’s crazy. And I am SO glad that you and Rachel didn’t stop blogging, and that you were brave enough to let her tell your story. I met two new bloggers that I’m sure I’ll continue to enjoy reading. And your posts have just cracked me up, Nicki. I love funny people.

      Le Creep, ha.

      1. For some reason I keep picturing him literally on fire.

    2. PLEASE don’t stop blogging anytime soon, Nicki. Someone needs to write a post ridiculing quinoa. I’d do it myself but I’m tied up blogging about my daughter’s bowel movements. 😉

      1. She ridiculed quinoa? I’ll have to see that as soon as I’ve read about your kid’s poop.

        1. She hasn’t yet. I’m crossing my fingers that she does.

          1. It does deserve it. Also tofu. Or at least tofurkey.

      2. Just the word “quinoa” puckers my anus. My husband is a health nut. And cooks it constantly it manages to stick like glue and ruin every saucepan in the house. Macaroni, I say! Just cook some fucking macaroni!

    3. Nicky, please continue to write. Your apology post was one of the best posts I’ve ever read in years.

      1. Awww, man, that’s so nice. It’s my favorite post so far, and was so much fun to write.

        1. It was just as fun to read it. I imagine the blowback you had to deal this, and the way you dealt this, well, that was just perfect.

  16. Alice, thank you so much for coming forward and telling your story. I know how scary it feels because leaving a comment on Calamity Rae’s original post and sharing part of my experience was also one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, blog-wise. Kudos to you for finding that bravery.

    1. It was scary for me too. A lot of us have stepped out of our comfort zones, but we’ve found others there to support us. And that’s a very good thing.

    1. That was a great post. Amazing how far this has reached . . . and I found another good couple of blogs.

  17. I have to admit, watching this drama play out is quite fascinating. Good for you for finally calling out the BS you endured! You are quite the awesome person and writer!

    1. Thanks, ES, you too. And this started out fascinating and got downright bizarre and I’m ready for the ride to end.

  18. I’ve only read parts of your blog because I would see you linked from other blogs. I know what you’re talking about because I wanted to be part of the “cool bloggers club” for such a long time and it never happened. “What was so bad about me?” I finally gave up. Your post made me glad I did. Thanks.

    1. I’ve found its best to make your own cool club.

  19. I stayed up until 4am last night reading Rae’s posts and comments, and then e-mailed her to thank her for coming out. What I find really ironic is that I Le Clown himself would have probably supported Rae’s decision to come out, had it been someone else sending these e-mails to her.
    I had no idea that his behavior was that common as it turned out to be, thanks to Rae, and you, and anyone else who have come out. Well, no – I had some semblance of idea, because I’ve recently learned of one blogger who was asked to stop commenting on one of LC’s blogs (but without knowing the details it was impossible to tell why and who was in the wrong), and over a year ago I came upon an old comment feud where he and several others tore into another blogger for making fun of a post by one of those several bloggers. Again, not exactly a clear-cut black and white scenario. Also, I’m not the confrontational type either.
    So I discounted those incidents, as well as his commenting and writing style as a part of his loudmouth online persona, thinking that behind that mask he was a different man. Well, he was, apparently – just not what the man I thought he was.
    I know how we often want to feel a member of a cool club, and I did somewhat feel the same way. But I honestly was a little put off by the flood of comments he was getting to leave my own often, so I never made the sufficient effort to make it into the cool inner circle. I admit that he made my day when he invited me to post on TOC, and I even wrote an unprompted guest post for ACOF which he declined (which I had no problem with, although I’m still proud of that post). So while I never really tried to be in the cool club, I was still flattered to get his attention.
    Mainly, I couldn’t forget the Byronic Man’s words that LC knows to sell the sizzle, not the steak, and I kept coming back to figure out how to make that sizzle (I can make my own well-done steak). I guess to make that sizzle, you have to burn people.
    Ok, I don’t know why I am writing all that.
    I have to congratulate you on your independence, and I just wanted to say that I think of the entire WordPress blogging community as one huge cool blogger club. It’s bigger than ACOF and LC, and it will always be bigger than any single blogger’s community.

    1. Very true. I love reading your top ten lists, and will continue to do so. He’s a dork if he didn’t take any of your post ideas. They’re great.

      1. Thank you. It wasn’t an idea, it was a full 1000+ word Le Clown in the Capitol post – he used to have the Clown in Gunland guest blogger series. But just like most of my guest posts, including the one I offered to you, it was unsolicited, so he had every right to decline it.

        1. Yeah, yeah, still his loss. 😀

    2. I was one of those people that once got caught up in one of his commentfeuds! I wrote an ‘inappropriate’ comment on one of his carnies’ guest-posts and got a shit storm of negativity fired my way! Then, later, I decided to joke with him again through Twitter and ‘Boom!’ I got a tweet saying I was “#unfollowed”. After that I got a couple of e-mails of him apologizing IF he was wrong, I told him to let it go, because I don’t even know the guy for crying out loud. But he kept whining about it, and his obsession with random ‘drama’ started to freak me out. So I took my distance and never visited his blog again, and watched as blogger after blogger was lured in by his freaky little circus.

      In my last blogpost last year I wrote: “I read their blogs and all I see is a little, insecure person adding layer after layer and lie after lie to their empty core, pretending they have some sort of dignity and principles, when all they really want is attention. To feed their insecurity.

      And they succeed. Their veiled self-glorification actually brings them readers.

      It sickens me.”

      That was pointed at him, and some of his carnies.

      I could’ve never imagined that THIS was behind that creepy, little dude. Reading your story, and Rachel’s, it sickens me. Oh, my God. Can you imagine living in the same city as this creep? *Bluegh*.

      Very, very much respect for you, and all the others that decided to speak out about him. This is the type of personality that prevents Wars from happening. 🙂

      Rock on!

      1. I am just glad to see that Ding dong, the clown is dead.

        1. Hahaha, Ding dong the Clown. You are a true poet, my friend 😉

  20. Hugs for what you went through and cheers for standing up! It sounds to me like that guy was playing with people’s heads and he had a suspiciously large amount of free time to do it in!

    1. He really, really did. I guess now he has free time for – I really don’t want to know. Thanks for the support. You are very talented with your crafting.

  21. Don’t let this mess sour you on writing, my friend.
    keep hope alive and if necessary, you can deal with anyone who would keep you chained down.
    Just remember, I always have your back.

  22. Thank you. Because of early red flags, I tried to stay out of the carnage, I mean carnival. But this has all validated what I suspected. And I think you and Rae and Guapo and Emily and whoever else has given voice to their experiences are brave. So, thank you. That’s why we blog, right? To tell our stories? Our truths? And when we are truthful people, we expect everybody else to be truthful as well. I, for one, will continue to be cautiously trusting. I won’t let hurts close me off from trusting others. Don’t do that, either, Alice.

    1. I won’t let hurts keep me from trusting. I might have wrongly trusted le clown, but now I know there are others I can trust. Most of all, I can trust myself. I think this whole experience, standing up for something not knowing what would happen, has made me stronger. It turns out I do have something to say, and people do want to hear it. It’s been an incredibly validating few days. Thanks for your support.

  23. Alice, I love your blog, but you already know that. I am sorry for your troubles, but maybe not really – this whole mess sounds like it has made you stronger. Glad you stood up to the bullies.

    It has been my experience that there are some people who are able to create a persona for awhile … but eventually the light shines and they are exposed. I think it’s easier to maintain this in the virtual world for longer, thus I tend not to trust my internet friends too deeply, you know? It’s long been my policy to stay ‘under the radar’ in real life and virtual life. I seriously enjoy the quiet tapping of my own fingers on the keys. 🙂

    Take care and keep writing!!

    1. It has made me stronger, and given me a little bit more faith as well. Sometimes the meek do inherit, Judah. 😀

      1. Oh, the meek WILL inherit, my friend. Never fear. Thought you may not see it for a while. It’s a given none-the-less.

  24. it looks like her blog is shutdown as well….

    1. She has another one up, self hosted. Just google Calamity Rae.

  25. I’m sorry you went through this, Alice. And for the record, you are funny, you’re not rude, and I can’t imagine you making anyone feeling uncomfortable (unless you wanted to).

    1. Thanks. I admit I wanted to make him uncomfortable later- and I did!

  26. Hi Alice. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve read your piece and some of the others surrounding recent events. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to read the ‘shot heard round the blogosphere’ post because the blog in question was taken down before I was able to. However, I thought it was important to let you know that I know, to an extent, how you feel. While I was never on the receiving end of a public lashing, I was on the end of a string of private e-mails from LC that crossed the line from friendly to flirtatious to outright inappropriate. Now, here’s the thing that is making me wonder–I am not a survivor of abuse. I don’t write about it, nor do I really follow any blogs that center around it. I’m sure, however, that I’ve used a ‘depression’ tag in several of my posts. Perhaps that was enough to make him get in touch, to compliment, to flatter. And I was flattered. Very. Though I told him that his emails had crossed the line, I still craved what I thought he could do for my blog. And that both embarrasses me and makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach. Because when I showed my husband his emails, my husband called him a predator. And what embarrasses me even more is that I defended him. I was lucky, he stopped when I drew the line. There is nothing in my blog or my writing to indicate that I would be susceptible to him, and perhaps he sensed that and backed off. Perhaps he is a split personality. Perhaps he is just absolutely, royally fucked up, I don’t know. But I do know how it made me feel to have his attention, how it made me feel to think about losing that attention, and how I feel now just writing that it mattered. Ironically, I think I wrote even better after I clicked unfollow. I bet you will too. Good luck, Alice.

    1. I understand, truly. He’s a classic narcissist. They are very, very good at manipulation, which is what happened to you, and to me, and to so many others. It happened to me quite a while ago, and I’ve continued writing, but it was only when Rae made the “shot heard from the blogosphere” (I love that) that I felt truly relieved. He’s exposed, and he’s not hurting anyone else, at least not for a while, and if he comes back, I hope once more we will show him how we can band together. Thanks for your comments.

  27. dhonour, I am the woman who outed Eric. I’d be glad to share with you the post I made along with the emails. You can ask alice how to get in touch with me, should you wish. I am sorry Eric also crossed a line with you regarding sexual comments that were unwanted.

    1. Thank you for the offer Rae. And you can call me Dina.

    2. Calamity, I don’t know how to get in touch with you, but today you posted a private message on your blog – yes, my name is blacked out, but I don’t feel comfortable with this public posting, and was not consulted beforehand.
      If you could remove it please.
      Thank you

  28. […] Independence Day (aliceatwonderland.wordpress.com) […]

  29. I’m a little late to be commenting here, but in my defense, I was on vacation with sporadic access, and there was so much being written about this subject that I kind of missed some the posts.

    About a year ago, when I ended my seclusion on WordPress, it didn’t take me long to notice that one of the “big shots” of the blogging world was Le Clown. Naturally, I visited his blog to try and see what the big deal was…and I couldn’t figure it out. I mean, yeah, there were some good posts, and he touched on “important” things, but it seemed like the only reason why he was considered so important was because he kept telling everyone he was.

    We interacted somewhat, but I never made it into the “cool” circle. And like others, yeah, this kind of hurt my feelings. I know that it shouldn’t have. I thought maybe it was because I mostly blog about lighter issues and rarely tackle more important stuff. Or who knows? I realize that I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Although the more I read, the more I think maybe it was because I either wasn’t “important” enough nor did I stop by daily to tell him how magnificent he was.

    But whatever. It hasn’t hurt me, and it hasn’t ultimately hurt you either. As you seem to have realized, you don’t need to kiss someone’s ass to get yourself noticed. I’m not sure why I started following you, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because some clown told me to. And I’m pretty sure that’s not why you were Freshly Pressed either.

    So keep up the awesome work and remember that you owe all of this blog’s success to your own hard work, and not just because some guy told everyone that you were special.

    Oh, and maybe you should mock this guy in some way? I’m thinking maybe some sort of cartoon lightbulb or something along those lines.

    1. “it seemed like the only reason why he was considered so important was because he kept telling everyone he was.” I think that sums him up pretty well. Thanks for the kind words.

      And as to the last bit – Sparky has left the building, but we still have Boppo!

  30. I’m kind of bringing up an old wound here but I just today realized that BBW was down and then I was pointed to all this hullabaloo after I asked TwinDaddy about it.

    Ugh, just ugh. I wrote my own blog post about all this nonsense he created but this:

    “So she outed him. Not with stories or anecdotes or hearsay, but with actual evidence. Screenshots of emails with his face, his words. Yet people will still deny that it’s real. People will still look away.”

    It will always blow my mind and I can not BELIVE that with the actual email evidence clearly visible, people will STILL stand up for abusers like him. It is truly disgusting.

  31. I never read this when all this happened. I’m glad you spoke up. This bullying attitude needed to end, and I’m glad it did. I hope it stays away. I’m sorry you had to put up with such an attitude from him and his friends.

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