Strange Addictions: Night of the Living Dolls

The Ludicrous Channel!

The Ludicrous Channel!

Good news, or bad, depending on how you look at it.  I happened to catch “Strange Addictions” when it randomly showed up Tuesday night.  This episode?  People who want to be dolls.  Now, you know a show is really bad when this sounds incredibly normal.  I haven’t watched all of these – some are just clips or commercials – but so far they’ve covered people who eat:

toilet paper

deodorant

Comet

cat hair

And then there’s the people who have relationships with inanimate objects such as:

a car

inflatable animals

baby dolls they treat like real babies

Speaking of babies, there’s also the people who like to actually BE babies, complete with sleeping in a crib and, yes, wearing diapers.  I don’t even . . . anyway, so when I heard living dolls, I was like, aw, that’s not so bad.  I mean as long as they can distinguish fantasy from reality and . . . oh . . . nevermind.

First up is Ken, a fitting name since the guy wants to actually be a Ken doll.  I can’t imagine why any guy would want this.  I can’t even imagine why Barbie would want him.  He’s boring, he’s generic, he has no reproductive parts, and he’s made of plastic.  But, turns out, that’s what Ken really likes about him!  Yay!

I paused it, and got that triangle on his nose, and decided to leave it.

I paused it, and got that triangle on his nose, and decided to leave it.

Ken has had 25 plastic surgeries, and he looks like he’s still in his twenties.  Nose jobs, eyebrow lifts (he has a perpetual look of surprise), pectoral implants (I didn’t realize these existed except on Batman Halloween costumes) and so on.  TLC films him visiting another plastic surgeon who, after hearing he’s had 25 surgeries and wants more, looks at him kind of like this.

Pretty much how I looked too.

Pretty much how I looked too.

But it gets weirder, guys!  See he not only wants these implants, he designs the suckers.  He’s an artist!  So he designs the silicone he wants stuck under his skin in a surgical operation.  Personally, I think the guy’s had too much anesthesia.  So does the surgeon.  He says “You want this ideal . . . but it’s of a cartoon.”  Ken just says, nanner, I’ll find someone else, and goes back to his dream house.  Or something.

Next up is Emily.  She wants to be a doll too, but not a Barbie, that was another show.  (Like duh!) She wants to be some kind of rag doll type thing only with a wig and tall stockings and . . . the best I can come up with is Pedo dressing.  Cause you look like a little girl, but you’re not, so it’s okay, only it’s still kind of gross.  Or something.  It’s a big thing in Japan, and apparently there is anime that uses this theme and . . . to be honest I don’t know that much about Japanese culture. Except that these guys are probably the only country that can rival us in terms of outright weird.

From the TLC website: Dressing like this gives her confidence.  Ooookay.

From the TLC website: Dressing like this gives her confidence. Ooookay.

You know, if she just say wore this stuff at home in her spare time, whatevs.  People do all sorts of unusual stuff in their spare time, like reenacting the Civil War, or Medieval Times, or taking selfies for Facebook.  But this girl is tired of being in the closet, and wants everyone to accept her for who she is.  Noble intentions there, Emily, but somehow going job hunting dressed like that is really not the way to go.  The sad part of it is that she wants to be a doll because she doesn’t like herself as she is normally.  Ken liked himself a bit too much, but her not enough.

And then we have Venus.  No, that’s really her name.  She is sixteen, so dressing up like a doll is not quite as bizarre, cause she’s at least a little closer to actual childhood.  Shut up, this reasoning makes me feel better.  Anyway, what is odd is that her mother is very supportive of this, to the point that she spends a lot of money filming the kid for Youtube, where she is a famous star.  Granted, Muffy the kitten who plays with string is also a famous Youtube star, but I digress.  This girl has fans.  Who ask her to sign autographs, and talk about how she inspires them.  By – being a doll?  I’m not getting it.  On the plus side, she did get to go to Japan and be a model for their dolly clothing line, so at least she’s getting paid for being weird.

Think twice before saying your kid is cute as a little doll!

Think twice before saying your kid is cute as a little doll!

So that was this week’s episode.  Dolls.  Bonus if you caught that they were playing the theme to the Sims in the background.  Next week?  People who eat make-up.  I wonder if they prefer Cover Girl or Maybelline.

So what do you guys think?  Is dressing up like a doll weird or no?  Let me know in the comments section.  Do you do weird stuff when no one is looking?  Nevermind, I don’t want to know.

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53 responses

  1. I fear that the last girl is going to grow up to be Baby Jane.

    1. THAT’S what I was thinking of, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Baby Jane. Eeek.

      1. It comes on this week on TCM 🙂

  2. You do SO want to know the weird stuff people (not moi, of course) do when they’re alone. Admit it. I can see you are fascinated with these whackos like I am with the hoarders. When I watch “Buried Alive” I just keep asking myself (like a mantra), “How do you get HERE?” I mean, I understand leaving the occasional cereal bowl on the living room end table, but saving your CRAP in plastic bags?? It takes a whole lot of sick to do that!

    But I guess wanting to be a doll kind of makes sense in this mixed-up crazy world of ours … an extension of our need to escape, maybe? We could start a new phrase trend: “It’s a doll’s life”!

    1. No kidding! I admit, I am endlessly fascinated by whackos. Saving actual human waste like souvenirs – I can freely admit I have never gone that far. My house is a wreck, but – no poopie, and no kitties in the freezer. Nope, nope, nope.

      I used to have a collection of dolls as an adult – I gave several of them to my kids, but I keep a few. And I play with my kids. And – honestly – I play the Sims which is make-believe, and I write, which is also make-believe. It’s just more, uh, socially accepted.

      1. Amen to that! 🙂 I love your blog, Alice. Keep living in make-believe and we will all keep reading.

        1. Thanks, Judah! You’re welcome any time!

  3. This show is friggen whack! My daughter and I saw one last week with a chick that ate cat food and another that sniffed moth balls,,,wth?
    Then there was the one with the dude that was in love with his car and actually has “relations” with it and the the other dude that loves blow up pool toys,,,you can’t make this shit up!

    1. There’s a website offering detailed instructions for men that want to have intimate relationships with their cars.
      Step one – let the exhaust pipe cool off.

      1. I’m not EVEN going to ask how you know about that website, lol

      2. I would think that a very important step. Also make sure parking gear is engaged. I am sooo not going to look at that site.

        1. Ha! You googled it already, didn’t you?
          Sigh…

          1. Not on my work computer, no. Lol.

    2. The pool toy one really got me. I mean, not even an inflatable doll – a dolphin! And, other things. Weird. And the car sex . . . I was going to ask how you could even get there, but then El Guapo helped with that.

  4. For me living dolls are a little scary :o) btw: I’ve heard Barbie dumped Ken and has a new boyfriend named Blaine. Must be hard for Ken after more than 30 years :o)

    1. I always thought Barbie would dump him for G.I. Joe. Now that was a much more manly doll. Except the army didn’t issue him with the one accessory he really needed . . .

  5. Consider me inspired by these wonderful people. I’m going to dedicate my life to becoming a living My Buddy doll….

    1. Only if I can be your Kid Sister!

      1. Cool! Get TLC’s programming director on the phone, sis…

  6. I fear for all humanity.

    1. It’s kind of like Children of the Corn, isn’t it?

      1. It’s like Springer on crack.

    2. Me too. & You already know my thoughts on this, Alice. I watched with one eye open. Why would somebody want to be something so creeptastic? Ah, whatever floats yer boat, I guess!

  7. The Japanese doll thing is HUGE. Kind of like our stylized ideal in America is like big boobs and long hair and Barbie, theirs is really baby doll and little girl. The Japanese are extremely fetishistic. I think it’s because of their extreme stressful lifestyle. I think that’s why we’re having more of that here, too. Escapism, gone horribly awry.

    Seriously, just watch bad tv like a normal person.

    1. I agree with you Nicki, I saw this documentary where in Japan guys are actually in love with virtual girls to such the extreme that they won’t have anything to do with real girls.
      It’s kind of like those Tamachochi stuff our kids had but for adults,,,truly creepy.

      1. Yeah – I mean, they spend their entire lives getting ready for their careers, and then they get there and they’re totally burned out. No wonder they turn to computer games. And we’ve got a lot of the same thing in America, too. We are as fascinated with the Japanese as they are with us. We need to get fascinated in, say, England, where they just drink tea and stuff.

        1. We here in Canada are really fascinated with England, they aren’t as into going to the “best University’s” and working 2-3 jobs like you guys in the states. They just work to survive.
          We are also fascinated with their soap opera’s like Coronation St,,,it’s awesome I love it!

    2. I had heard that they liked childhood things because they were so stressed. Many of them weren’t allowed to be kids when they were kids, so now they’re doing it. I hadn’t heard of the doll thing per say, but I do know they have entire stores filled with Hello Kitty, and one couple had Hello Kitty at their wedding. Far out. Please, Japan, let these kids stop the Math homework for a few seconds to play with toys. Sheesh.

      And yeah, right, bad TV. Like us, um, normal people!

  8. In the news a while ago there was that girl from Eastern Europe or somewhere who has done the same sort of thing as the Ken chap, only as Barbie, obviously. Her waist is micro-thin now and she really does look plastic (which is because about 90% of her is actually plastic now).
    Talking of Barbie, am I weird to fancy Barbie out of Toy Story 3 😦 ?

    1. I had heard of the Barbie lady. Yes, I DO want to be made entirely of silicone, thanks! Frankly, I’m not going under the knife unless it is absolutely necessary. Yikes.

      Barbie in Toy Story 3 is cute. Is that the one where she takes out Ken?

      1. Depends what you mean by “takes out” 😉
        She falls for him (and his dream house) but he’s nasty so she dumps him and then later he helps them out because he’s nice inside really. Awww.
        I think that was it anyway.

  9. The dolls thing is weird… but, not all that weird. Considering how people dress these days, covering all manner of style and the lack thereof, … enh, who cares. But, the plastic surgeries to look like a doll? Yeah, that’s weird.

    1. Yeah, and 25 of them. The doc asked the question I was – how do you afford all of this? Apparently he had sugar daddy boyfriends and never took vacations – although they never did say what his actual job was . . . just weird. Have these people not learned from Michael Jackson?

      1. Apparently not. Though, perhaps they did learn, but learned all the wrong lessons…

  10. Ken looks like there’s more silicone in his head than brains. And I think he looks like an ugly woman. The girls who want to dress up as dolls are slightly less creepy, though really, wtf is up with the white faces?

    1. I think they are supposed to look like white porcelain dolls, which are the creepiest of the creepy dolls, in my opinion.

  11. And yet, you keep on watching.
    (New reality show idea: People who watch reality shows to reinforce their opinion of how unwatchable reality shows are!)

    1. Hey, I could be a star! Of TLC! That’s almost as good as Youtube!

  12. Can I be a Cabbage Patch Kid?

    1. I don’t see why not. You might have to have hubby sign Xavier Roberts on your bum, though.

  13. I’ve actually known quite a few of the Japanese style “living dolls”. They have pretty regular get-togethers and even advertise them and invite others to attend. I suspect however, that even though they spend copious amounts of time and money on the hobby, that they are rather more well adjusted than the ones in the TLC show. Some of them (actually a good portion of them) are highly successful, rather average people outside of their hobby/fetish. They have to be. Have you any idea how much it costs to actually look like that?

    1. Not sure I want to know . . .

  14. It’s weird, but hey. Maybe they think it’s just as weird to put on a suit and tie and go to an office all day.

    1. Except the people in the suits get paid. Well, except that one girl, but I’d consider her rare. But like I said, this is actually fairly normal for this show.

  15. Creepy! And I’ve seen all those other TLC shows…the guy in love with his car, the woman who eats baby powder…makes me feel pretty good about myself. I like what you said about the 16 year old – since she’s closer to childhood than the rest of them’ – But to want to be a KEN DOLL??? We always called guys we didn’t like ‘Ken Doll’ because he ain’t got no junk. you gotta dream I guess.

  16. When I was a kid, I was convinced that my dolls come to life someday and turn evil. I was right!
    But wow, these guys have a lot of time on their hands.

  17. Weird, but I suppose harmless. I wonder why no one wants to dress up like a cabbage-patch doll. They’re so…um…cute.

  18. NoxemaQueensNotSoThrilledMama | Reply

    I think it stems from internalizing that stupid and disturbing song “I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world….” Also I suspect we know that last girl- think back to how we met…

    1. Haha, you could be right on that one . . .

  19. These shows are good for making the rest of feel (a)normal or (b) not alone. 🙂

  20. Cries for mommy….no daddy…

  21. The adult baby fetish you mentioned is a subculture of S&M. I’m surprised that there wasn’t a scenario in 50 Shades where Christian stuck Ana in a diaper. Then again, that would have implied that EL James had done some research.

    No, I don’t want to be a doll when I grow up. It’s hard enough being human at times!

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