The Important Post About Important Stuff!

There is a trend, it seems, that the only good reading is reading that is serious and depressing.  I don’t quite understand this.  I mean, it’s really much harder to be funny than it is to be sad.  Anyone can say sad stuff.  For instance, you could say “My cute, fuzzy little kitten is dead.”  Cute dead fuzzy little kittens are sad.  Now making cute dead little fuzzy kittens funny? That takes talent!  Also sickness in the head.  But mostly talent!

Leave me alonnnnne, Alice.

Leave me alonnnnne, Alice.

Yet we don’t like that, do we?  No, to be taken seriously you have to be dramatic.  That’s why you rarely get any “ha ha” movies winning academy awards.  Or silly books winning major book prizes (although Dave Barry did win a Pulitzer – yay Dave!)  And there are those who think silly blogging is worthless.  If you’re blogging about funny stuff, then you aren’t recognizing that there is poverty, and disease, and destruction, and dead kittens.  And Republicans!  (Yeah, you know I couldn’t resist adding that one.)

But that’s not true.  Humor doesn’t make you forget that there are horrible things in the world.  Humor is what allows you to handle the horrible things in the world.  Sometimes humor is dark, because sometimes the world is dark.  Dead fuzzy kittens fall into the dark humor category, generally, unless we’re talking about Persians cause those things are messed up.  Kidding!  Hahaha, please don’t send PETA after me.

Send them.  Now.  She's horrible.

Send them. Now. She’s horrible.

So then we should only blog about serious topics, right?  Don’t get me wrong – serious blogging is needed.  I know several really good bloggers who blog about serious, important topics like abuse, chronic pain, depression, and more.  And unfortunate kitten accidents, probably.  And people who are so disturbed they keep bringing up cute past-tense animals.  But – wait – if you’re blogging about unfortunate events, then you’re still not doing anything.  You’re not MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

You didn’t realize that, did you?  Blogging about poverty doesn’t end poverty.  I know, it floored me when I found this out too.  Blogging about abuse doesn’t stop abuse either.  And blogging about Republicans?  Yeah, they are still here.  So we should really just quit this blogging business, you guys, and get out there and MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  I thought about this a whole lot when I was composing this here blog post.  I mean, when I wasn’t considering whether dead monkeys would sound creepier than dead kittens.  I came to a conclusion.  I was going to change the world.

You realize you talk about stupid stuff, right?

You realize you talk about stupid stuff, right?

So this morning I got up and went to a homeless shelter where I served people breakfast I’d made myself out of twigs and blackberries, then got them all houses (John McCain will never miss them).  And right after that I flew to Africa and I gave people food (would you believe those people in the Unicef commericals were just standing around NOT giving sandwiches to these kids?  They were right there the whole time!)  I also gave out a bunch of free drug samples I stole from my doctor’s office.  Some of it was enhancement pills, but who knows, they might be useful.  Before I left, I adopted a child not yet claimed by Angelina Jolie and I flew back to the states just in time for lunch.  Instead of eating (I gave my sandwich to a less fortunate kitten), I cured Cancer.  Then I went to all the inner cities and gathered up all the guns and the gangs and we joined hands and sang Kum-ba-yah and drank coke and promised to be bffs forever.  Then I took the guns and aimed them at all the abusers, especially the child abusers, and they all ran and jumped off cliffs.  On my break I created purple glasses so that when people wore them everyone looked purple and they weren’t sure who they were supposed to hate anymore.  I also wrote letters to every nation on earth and said “Quit it” and they all went “D’oh” and stopped their wars and dismantled their nuclear facilities.  Finally, I went home, gave my supper to a homeless guy I made into my personal butler after teaching him how to be courteous and wear bow ties, and I cured AIDS.  Then I worked out legislation that allowed gay people to marry because seriously there is no reason they can’t have FUN too and they invited me to a rocking party where I was celebrated as savior to us all, but I humbly declined the giant statue dedicated in my honor.  Instead I had it melted down and made into a swimming pool for kids without swimming pools.  Then I went to bed.

I think she's lying.

I think she’s lying.

You might have noticed in there that I forgot to go to my job.  Also my husband and children were strangely absent.  And there was no blog post, and people got kind of bored.  Here I’d gone and fixed everything, but why?  Why do we want to fix things?  What makes all this struggle worth it?  Happiness?  Justice?  Relief?

What do you feel when you read a really good piece of writing?  Or see a fantastic piece of art?  Or listen to beautiful music?  For a moment, do you not feel so hopeless?  For a moment, do you think change is possible?  I do.  Can I say I’ve CHANGED THE WORLD?  No.  Not the whole world.  Just a very small part of it.  There are people out there that do extraordinary things.  People who work to cure diseases, who go into inner cities and teach, who feed and house people, who push for legislation to better the lives of the people around them.  I work at a library.  I let people get books.  I don’t change a great deal.  But once I looked for information for an elderly man recently diagnosed with Cancer.  I didn’t find what he was looking for, but he said “Thank you for trying.  Thank you for listening.”

I made a difference to him.  I make a difference to my family.  I make a difference, just maybe, to one of you reading.  After all, without me, you might be tempted to eat baby powder.  Or listen to really awful music without realizing it.  You might even be try to read 50 Shades of Awful.  Maybe you might laugh.  Maybe you might feel a little better than you did five minutes ago.

The world is a big place.  There are a lot of people playing their parts.  Do not doubt your own part.  If you want to do more, then do it.  But don’t forget what has already been done, the ripples that you have created in your own pond just by being you.  Interesting, unique, and possibly gassy you.

Blog on, my friends.

Alice

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75 responses

  1. I enjoyed this post very much. So often I’m thinking: have I really done something useful in my life? Did I make a difference?
    But I agree, it’s all in the everyday actions.

    1. It really is. For instance, if you raise a child, and that child manages not to be a jerk, think how many people you’ve saved from a jerk!

      1. Ha. Love that connection. That said, if he / she *is*…

    1. Thanks. 😀 Now I can go back to talking about stuff like women whose boobs light up – next time on Secret Addictions!

      1. Light-up boobs huh, that would be kinda freaky lol 😀

  2. I need to blog more about dead, fuzzy kittens. Thank you for the suggestion!

    I have a firm policy that I only blog about serious topics on days that don’t end in a Y…

    1. There really isn’t enough out there about this topic. I think that’s a good policy, there, though who will CHANGE THE WORLD for SQUIRRELS?

      Speaking of squirrels, I once saw one by the side of the road. He had left this mortal coil, but he didn’t look run over. He had his teeny hands splayed out over his teeny chest like he’d had a teeny heart attack. Poor little guy. I thought nuts were supposed to be heart healthy.

      1. That’s just those “world changing researchers” out there who say something is healthy one minute, then the next slow news day, they announce it will give you cancer. Poor little guy… I do hope he was given a proper burial, or at least stuffed…

        1. I think he would have been awesome stuffed. Seriously, he had a flair for the dramatic. A future star taken too soon.

          1. The Redd Foxx of squirrels…. Oh, this is the BIG ONE!!!!

          2. I’m comin’ Lizabeth! Ohhh, I can’t wait to win all that squirrel stuff. 😉

  3. Thanks for a great post, I enjoyed it to read it. Posts like this are much better than 50 books about 50 shades of whatever .

    1. I am relieved to be considered better than 50 Shades of whatever! That’s when you know you have a problem – when you’re just not up to her level of rock bottom.

  4. ZOMG You are so awesome. You make a huge difference to me, WT.

    1. You make a difference to me toos, WT! We have CHANGED THE WORLD with LISTERINE and LYSOL DOUCHES!

      1. Who knows what next we could conquer.

  5. Now here is a post that makes sense! Thank you. Oh yeah, I had just bought some baby powder for lunch, whew, I’m glad I read this first! 😉

    And writing funny stuff is hard! I don’t do funny well. So kudos to those that do!

    1. Yes! If you find someone, wish them kudos! I do wonder what I’m gonna do with all this baby powder I stocked up on before the show. Oh, and get this – lightbulbs. Also not food. What will they think of next?

      1. Lightbulbs aren’t food either. damn it!

        1. Next thing you know they’ll be saying not to eat the tags off of mattresses.

  6. I think somebody peed in my pond. Bastards. My blogging makes a difference to me, and sometimes some of my readers. That’s enough for me. No one person can change everything.

    1. Right! But you can change your pond! With pee! That makes a difference to all the other swimmers. Even more than farts.

      1. Ohhhhhh…….I don’t want people in my pond!

        1. Only people with firm bladder control can pee, er play in TD’s pool.

          1. Nope…just me.

          2. Oh, in that case, you gotta get outta the pool. I know about the potty accident of ’08.

          3. It’s been cleaned since then. Give me SOME credit.

  7. I have no interest in saving the world. I just want to make my tiny corner of it a bit more pleasant.

    Now think what you’d accomplish if you included recipes for those dead kittens…

    1. Waste not, want not, I always say. I bet Paula Deen has something somewhere. With lots of butter.

  8. I switch back and forth between silly/irrelevant/funny and serious/woe is me. I like to keep ’em guessing.

    1. It is fun. Like I’m gonna write about stupid people who hang with balloon animals, but tomorrow I’ll write about Congress which will . . . wait, those aren’t very different.

  9. Sometimes I feel unimportant because I tend to avoid writing about serious matters. But like you said, even if I did write about serious stuff, I would still be unimportant! So it’s all good!

    1. Exactly! As bloggers we are all totally useless! I was so relieved when I found that out. From bloggers.

      1. Well, you could always burn some more clowns.

  10. “Humor doesn’t make you forget that there are horrible things in the world. Humor is what allows you to handle the horrible things in the world.”—Yes! I read and hear about many horrible things. It’s the funny stuff that helps me find a balance. This world is far too difficult to navigate without allowing ourselves a sense of humor.

    I really liked this post because it touched on something I often worry about: I’m not doing enough in this world. But as you point out, we all have responsibilities depending on our stage of life. Right now, I can’t take off to Africa and be in Doctors without Borders or some other global group. But who knows, when my kids are gone in four years, maybe I can have that opportunity, even if it’s in my own backyard. But for now, I have to take care of my family and be content with doing little things that hopefully contribute to making this a better world, no matter how small they are.

    1. Exactly! A time to every purpose, and all that crap. Heck, I can’t even keep my house cleaned with my kids around. When they are gone I will need better excuses, but maybe I will actually do something charitable. With all that money I don’t spend on replacing lost coats and shoes.

  11. I think I need to print 27 copies of this post and stick one to every available surface in my home and office for those (frequently recurring) times when I succumb to beating myself up for not Accomplishing Big Things In the World.

    1. Yay! I might have to read it to remind myself. What have I accomplished? Wait, I made two people like all by myself (mostly) and haven’t killed them yet! I made it to 37! I am pretty good at eating! Everyone has special stuff.

  12. I shall blog on. And the blogging shall be blog. Some days it will be more blog than others, but, regardless it will always be blog.
    Or something like that.
    Thanks for all the laughs!

    1. May your beeping blog continue to beeping blog beepingly.

      1. You better beeping believe it!

  13. I am terrible about writing funny stuff…Rosa is SO not funny! And I really am a very serious person in “real life,” too. It’s my curse!

    1. I have a hard time being serious even at times when they sort of want you to be serious. Defense mechanism. But not very welcome, say, at a kitten funeral.

  14. I just said somewhere else, better for me to put the stuff on a blog than leave it in my head. If someone reads it, great, if not then it’s still gonna be there. I don’t think I write anything that helps anyone other than myself, but that’s OK too.

    Then I go from serious to random to give myself something to do. I dont want to be the depressing girl all the time.

    1. People learn about nail polish. You might want to add that they should not actually eat the nail polish, even if it has a yummy sounding color.

  15. Great post. I try only to post silly or positive things with the hope of picking people up during the day if they happen to read it. It helps to get it out of my head, too.

    When I feel like I’m not making a difference (usually), I’ll remember this. We’re all little pieces of the bigger puzzle.

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    – Gassy Me

    1. It is quite a puzzle. I’m that piece that they forget to add to the puzzle, so you’re missing one. But I’m not sure where my puzzle is, so I don’t know where I fit. Also I lost track of my metaphor.

      I am also gassy. Good thing I write from afar.

      1. We’re on the same page. I think what we both learned today is that we’re both gassy and something tells me that we both get a laugh out of that and that’s good enough for me. 🙂

  16. I am blogging about serious stuff, like unemployment, education, guns – but not dead kittens, I think I need to write more about dead kittens. Hmm… 10 reasons why the kittens are dead? 10 ways how Obamacare will kill the kittens? I need to think about this.
    But I’m still not trying tp change the world. I’m just actively trying not to make it worse.

    1. Obamacare is definitely killing the kittens. Pass it on.

      You blog about serious stuff, but still make me laugh, because the serious, the reality, is sometimes just so absurd. Especially if you’re talking about Fox News.

  17. You’re so beautiful 🙂

      1. But I said it first – so my statement is more true ^.^

  18. who gets to decide for me what I consider serious or important? I think humor is very important. It is a tool against despair which is a relative of hopelessness. Humor gives a little hope. Hope is vital. Libraries stand for all that is good in the world. Consider Ray Bradbury’s story re libraries. One day I hope to go see King Ashurbanipal’s library. Librarians are wonderful. ❤

    1. Ray Bradbury story about libraries? Refresh me, I’ve forgotten. And thanks, what would we do without libraries? I mean besides search fruitlessly for all the stuff that will be put online cause who needs books right?

      1. Books will always have a place. Librarians will always have an important role in society although obviously the role will change as society changes as has always been the case. I will send you my link re Mr Bradbury and King Ashurbanipal later today. 🙂

        1. I look forward to it. Thanks!

          1. http://www.britishmuseum.org/research/research_projects/all_current_projects/ashurbanipal_library_phase_1.aspx
            http://web.utk.edu/~giles/
            Ray Bradbury didn’t have the means to go to college.
            Instead he devoured libraries.
            I relate to him very much except that I got to go later.
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Bradbury

  19. I stopped reading after you said Persians were messed up. Bixby and I are very upset 😦

    1. I’m sure there are some exceptions to the rule. Like, I meant every Persian EXCEPT Bixby. My bad.

      1. Phew!! I knew that MUST be the case of course

        1. Persians are very beautiful, clever, fluffy, wuffy, mow wows,
          They are smart and pretty and brave. 🙂

  20. This I loved.
    See, what you did was actually give us some serious advice (just blog dammit) in the guise of a silly post. And that’s great writing.

    I write all types of stuff. But I see what appeals to the masses are jaunty tales. I’d write those if I could pull it off. It’s not my destiny.

    Dead kittens. Now THAT’S a different take on the whole Internet cat thing. Well done.

    1. Thank you. I’m not sure if there would be many people watching videos of cute dead kittens, though. They don’t play with yarn very well.

      1. Where have you been all my life?

        I love me some funny blogger chicks. I’m Samara, also known as Queen of Snark (well, by one person).

        Is this a family blog? Or can I cuss in the comment section?

        1. I could never have covered 50 Shades of Grey without cursing. It is required to get through that piece of shit. So yes, don’t worry about it. I only share certain posts with my daughters and determine what I want them to see or not. So let ’em fly!

  21. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it – the best thing any of us can do is try to be a better version of ourselves Today than we were Yesterday. That’s how we’ll change the world, by being better people.

    1. *Better people? Say what? It’s much better to appear to be better people, which is why you see so many politicians stopping for photo ops at homeless shelters and whatnot.

      *Sarcasm alert

      1. Better is, of course, a relative term. And by that I mean that I am way better than some of my relatives.

        1. Ha! I think I can claim that right too. 😀

  22. This cheered me up today! And besides, if it weren’t for you I may have taken one of my friends advice and read 50 shades. I think she was screwing with me, or at least I hope she was … although if she was, who needs enemies with friends like that!

  23. Yes. Sometimes we change things by doing something practical (such as giving a bag of sugar to a foodbank) or by writing about something that will make people laugh and forget their problems for five minutes.

    Hope is more important than anything else, because without hope, everything else is worthless.

    1. “Hope is more important than anything else, because without hope, everything else is worthless.” – exactly.

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