Freshly Picked!

Some posts take me a while to write.  Well, actually it takes me longer for me to find idiot pictures to stick in the middle of my word walls than it does to write the post, but whatever.  And then there are posts I throw up in minutes.  These are the posts that get lots of response.  Naturally.  So when I wrote about boogers, (Link Drop!) it should come as no surprise that people liked it.  So I figured – that’s what this blog needs.  More boogers.

I also felt that my booger post, being so intellectually stimulating, should be submitted to Freshly Pressed.  So I submitted it myself by tweeting it on Twitter.

No, really, I did.

The computer cut off the @freshlypressed part.  But I totes did it.

Someone had to do it.  Just like when I was playing Goldfish’s madlibs contest and I voted for myself.  But I did like some other entries too so I went to another computer and voted for someone else.  As it turns out, voter fraud pays off because I won third place!  Woot!  Check out my badge.

Who says cheaters never win . . . third place?

Who says cheaters never win . . . third place?

Anyway, sadly I did not receive a response from Freshly Pressed.  This made me sadfaced.  Clearly booger posts are underrepresented by Freshly Pressed editors.  They need to get on the ball with that.  But until they do, I have come up with a solution.  Yet another badge of my own.  This would have been perfect if I had remembered St. Patrick’s Day was Monday and posted it then, because the badge is all green and lucky.  Here it is.

Take that, Freshly Pressed!

Take that, Freshly Pressed!

I know, the craftsmanship on this baby is awesome.  I would have used one of my personal boogers, but it wouldn’t scan very well, so I just made a drawing of its likeness.  Cool, huh?  Anyway, I’m storing this baby away with my Creeper and Douchecanoe Awards, just in case I find a thoroughly stupid and repulsive, I mean fascinating and intellectual post to give it to some day.  Just wait!  It might be you!

How do you get picked?  Easy, just pick something to write about that’s fun and bouncy, and just a little bit salty. Don’t be shy, just let it all hang out.  Or just write about boogers.  Or something else disgusting.  And then – woot – you can have this baby bestowed upon you.  I know.  Who could ask for anything more?  Except possibly a Kleenex?

Do you guys have any posts worthy of a Freshly Picked nod?  If so, send them to me, Alice, at  Or just link to it in the comments.  Or forget all about it.  You’ll be glad you did.

39 responses

  1. One waits in horrified anticipation at the deserving recipients of this…unique award.

    1. It’s coming. Anyday I’ll honk one out and who knows who will be the lucky winner?

      I might be starting to gross myself out. Nah.

  2. Maybe in the future your boogers will be freshly pressed – when you iron.

    1. Oh, crap, right into my shirt . . . A-gain?

      1. the color is divine with heat added.

        1. That’s what I’ve been saying all this time. If only my boogers were more colorful!

  3. Good boogers always get freshly pressed…..somewhere.

    1. Under the desk, the arm of the chair, one a pants leg, on a neighbor’s pants leg . . .

  4. yay! pick me!! pick me!!

    1. You will always be my favorite booger, WT!

  5. Eh, everything I write is just bitching. But I like the idea. 🙂

    1. But a picture can say 1,000 bitchy words. Here is your badge, good sir (or madam)!

  6. I hope to one day write a post worthy of this prestigious honor.

    1. Right now I’m so busy sending them out to politicians, I can’t keep up!

  7. Hah!
    That’s great. I bet this is an award I could actually win, since I *sad face* never win anything else.
    (grumble, grumble Alice getting 3rd, grumble, grumble, never live it down, grumble, grumble)

    1. Next time try voter fraud!

      1. Sadly, it goes against the Jester code…

          1. Of course. It’s part of our core principles and practices. Unlike the Pirate’s Code, ours is more than just a set of guidelines.

          2. Jestering is serious business.

          3. But you’re supposed to just be funneh and carefree – aws. Break the rules. You know you want to. Do it do itttttt!.

          4. Tempting. So very tempting. I’m a sucker for peer pressure.

        1. OMG I just put an apostrophe where it doesn’t belong – edit editttt!

          1. I once figured out how to edit comments I left on other blogs… I think it is in the dashboard somewhere. But, I never do, cuz lazy, and don’t care that much.
            I wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t called it out.

          2. Well, I make lots of grammar mistakes now cause I can and stuph, but that one just gets to me. I see it in really big letters on signs and I start to twitch . . .

          3. There’s a pill for that.

          4. For bad grammar? Thank goodness. I know a lot of people who need one STAT.

          5. I think its called Valium.

  8. I’ve written about poop before, but never boogers.

    1. You totally need to expand your horizons, then.

  9. I don’t pick my nose, but sometimes I sniff the tip of my finger and somehow a green thing magically appears there. Weird, right?

      1. No, but I have some talents.

  10. You are my kind of mature.

    1. I try very hard to be the worst kind of mature I can be. Boooooger!

  11. I seem to be some kind of snot monster just at the moment – the joys of hayfever, yay! – so this post of yours, or rather my reading of it, is perfectly timed.

    Damn those Freshly Pressed people for not seeing your awesomeness!

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