A Post in Cat Gifs

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear

When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month

Or even your year . . . .

– The Rembrandts

Pretty much.

Pretty much.

I realize the above image has been used quite a bit, but I really can’t think of a better way to describe today.  My alarm went off, and my brain said . . .

You are my guardian angel, Grumpy Cat

You are my guardian angel, Grumpy Cat

And that was pretty much the only intelligible thing it produced.  No.  Go back to sleep.  You has not had the sleeps and you cannot the function.  On a good day I figure my brain is working at about half capacity, which is half of the one/tenth or whatever we use of our brains.  I’m not sure what we do with the rest of our brains.  Probably look at cat gifs.

There's a point here somewhere . . .

There’s a point here somewhere . . .

I kept hitting snooze.  My counselor once said “Do you think maybe you are afraid one day you might just not go to work?  As in, not even call in.  Just not show up.”  Do I?

I like that he still looks evil here.

I like that he still looks evil here.

But I got up.  Somehow.  And I did the whole morning thing that I griped about in that other post called . . . um . . . crap, I forget.  “Bunch of Whining”, maybe.  The girls laughed.  Yay, Mommy is out of her mind and can’t form complete sentences!  You are so funny, Mommy!  Yes, yes, this is totally a joke.  WTF, where am I?

Haha, Mom!

Haha, Mom!

So now I am at the work, and I’m being extremely productive in that I managed to find Google Images and raid my thingy that has the images stored in it on WordPress my um, oh the media library.  Library, of course I would forget that word.  And people have insisted on talking to me, as if I am somehow capable of understanding human speech at this point.  They also have the audacity to be happy for some reason.

catslap

Part of my problem as I think I said before was that I am not sleeping well.  Next month I’m having a sleep study done which should make a fascinating post.  And then I put on the electrodes.  And I drooled.  Etc.  Anyway, since I couldn’t sleep, I was watching TLC and there was this show on called “Extreme Cougar Wives” and I’m like so there’s an age difference that’s not really that OMG THAT LADY IS 90 AND HER BOYFRIEND IS 47.   How is she even still you know, I don’t, no, this should not be happening!

WTF????

WTF????

I had another post planned for today, but I forgot to write it.  It was about how to get rid of a body, saying you needed to do this at some point.  I’m not saying I would.  But it was inspired when DJ wrote this supposedly fictional post about this psycho killer (warning: contains psycho killer, awesome creepiness, and DJ) and after reading it all I could think was that, hey, where did the guy put the body?  And so we had this long back and forth about it, and maybe I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.  I do know that his mother was slightly concerned for DJ’s mental state, which I found absolutely hilarious.  Until this morning when I woke up like this:

Help.

Help.

So . . . there you go.  Much like a Stephenie Meyer novel, I have no idea what I just wrote.  Enjoy.  Have the fun of the blog post is interesting read.

Alice

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37 responses

  1. I’m a fan of Grumpy Cat… but the Lady was 90 and the boyfriend 47? wow…

    1. I know! And there was this other lady who was 76 and looked like the crypt keeper with lipstick and she was like “I love skin on skin” and I was like omg grosssss. I have to write a post on that when my brain works and my eyes recover.

      1. I saw that lady. She said her youngest boyfriend was 18 and she was ultra creepy. The guy she was talking to was totally into it too. Like “Yea, I could get used to this old lady fetish thing!”

        It was a train wreck I couldn’t stop watching but I had the same expression as your cat photo.

  2. We all have days like this. I blame it on March. And the freaking cold weather we still have.

      1. I just wanted to pop back in and tell you I’ve just started reading ‘The Woman Upstairs’ by Claire Messud and the narrative voice reminds me of you. The main character is kind yet sarcastic, fulfilled yet restless, well-loved but looking for more. For some reason, her ‘voice’ reminded me of the voice you use in some of your blog posts. I’m only 30 pages into it so far, so that might change, but for now I keep thinking, “Alice could have written this!” 🙂

        1. Wow, I’m glad I sound like that instead of simply whiny! Thanks. 🙂

  3. So, you want us to reply using words of one syllable or less?

    What I think we should do is find the bugger who invented the word “syllable” and beat them until they change it so that it doesn’t contain so many syllables…

    1. Yes! And simile. WTF with that word? Why does it look like smile so much? And why are there also metaphors? Just pick one, English language!

  4. Soooooo funny! Hooray for silly cat gifs. Hooray for brain no worky-worky. My brain was almost going to do that this morning too, but I told it to cooperate or I wouldn’t let it read any of the sillies today and that scared it awake. We have an understanding like that.

    1. Maybe your brain could talk to my brain. And tell it where the body went.

      1. *presses head against screen*
        brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brainy, braino.
        *removes head from screen*

        Did it work?

        1. It totally did! Now I think I’m a psycho killer! We should call those people at Time Life Books! Do they still exist?

          1. I think they are Time Life Nooks now???

  5. It’s a hard knock life for us. (Huggy)

    1. It is! I feel so bad and I just want to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  6. I’m still waiting for the coffeh to jump-start my brain.

    1. How to you make the coffeh?

      1. In a coffee maker. Duh.

        1. You mean your girlfriend? Get it? As in the woman makes the coffee! And cooks! Wait, I went back to the 1950s for a moment.

          1. Wait…what blog am I on?

          2. Great Scott! Who’s Donna Reed?

          3. Doesn’t ring a bell

          4. Try Google, dorkface. Oh, and, know when to hold ’em.

  7. I saw the previews for the cougar show. Go TLC. Hmmm. Tired and grumpy too. Bleh.

    1. It was pretty unreal. There was one lady who was 54 and dressed like a prostitute and was all “This is meeeee. I have a youthful soul.” No, you’re just incredibly immature.

  8. Aren’t we all Yoga Cat, sometimes?

    1. In life, sometimes we grumpy cat, sometimes yoga cat. All things in circle.

  9. I saw a TLC show on Netflix you should review. It’s called Strange Sex.

  10. heehee getting children to school and then self to work will do it! Once I was so tired at work I kept writing words on my reports around the way wrong. Is there a sleepy emoticon? Love the pussycats.

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