April Fool?

I just realized this morning that it was April Fool’s Day, and I was thinkin’ I should write some sort of post like, fooling people.  Maybe I could pretend I was going to quit blogging.  But I’m half afraid peeps would be like WOOOOT and then I’d be going, oh crap, just kiddin’? 🙂 Awk-ward.

This bunny was not harmed in the making of this post.

This bunny was not harmed in the making of this April Fool’s Day post.

On Twindaddy’s blog today, he’s talking about pranksters and how one moron decided it’d be a cool idea to chase people with chainsaws!  Now, see, there’s really no reason to make anything up when this kind of idiotic crap happens in real life all the time!  I mean, chainsaws – talk about FUNNY!

But it gets better.  I thought I had found the weirdo goldmine in TLC, but clearly I should pay more attention to network TV, most specifically Dr. Phil.  Alert reader Carrie Rubin told me in the comments section yesterday that Dr. Phil had a lady on there that breastfed a bunny.  No, for reals!  Also a guy who pretended to be a dog. But the bunny feeding thing was my favorite.  I mean, wtf, who does this?

This lady.

This lady.

Anyway, this was totally perfect for my post – it has something that sounds like a joke plus a bunny, so I’m getting April Fools and Easter in at the same time.  Speaking of Easter, I wonder if any of the Christians were afraid the Jesus thing was an April Fool’s joke and that’s why they didn’t believe the women at first when they said Jesus had totally risen from the grave and stuff.  Everyone knows the Virgin Mary was a total kidder, always prankin’ on the disciples.

But back to Bunny Boobs, as I have decided to call this lady.   The lady treats the bunny like a baby, even though she has actual children, who think she’s insane.  Because she is.  At least the bunnies are happy – maybe.  I dunno, I’d figure most bunnies would prefer to be left alone in their hutches to chew hay and make cocoa puffs.  But that’s just me.

The show asks “Adorable, or just plain creepy?”  Creepy.  I’m gonna go with creepy, Phil.  Though not quite as creepy as you are, because you’ve got her on the show to begin with, dude.  Why not leave her to TLC?  If they haven’t covered her already.  Anyhoo, she has 10 rabbits, some are potty trained, others she diapers . . . and er, um, she owns a ballet studio and is trying to train the bunnies to dance.  Of course.  She also reads them bedtime stories and sings to them.  Okay.  They have beds, clothes, and she pushes them in a triplet stroller.  Sure, why not?

I wonder if she uses Huggies or Pampers.  Their marketing guys should get on this STAT.

I wonder if she uses Huggies or Pampers. Their marketing guys should get on this STAT.

Oh, and did I mention – she breastfeeds them.  Or attempts to, even though she has no milk since her kid – her human kid – is 19 years old.  But she did say the bunny . . . OMG . . . latched on.  I’m just, wow, that’s something.  At the beginning of the show, Phil warns people not to judge – right before he starts judging and sporting looks of horror.  Granted, I’m not sure who wouldn’t be horrified at this, but still – shame, Dr. Phil.  I think this is what they call “jumping the shark”.  At one point I was afraid my blog had done this, as evidenced by this illustration.

Take, that Fonzi.

Take, that Fonzi.

If you don’t understand the shark reference, here you go.  Anyway, after watching Phil scrape the barrel here, I feel much, much better.  Thank you for this April Fool’s gift, sir!  I might even get a rabbit.

No, wait.  No I won’t.

Have you ever pulled an April Fool’s Day prank?  Did it involve a chainsaw?  Let me know in the comments below.  Also, I’m still looking for new reality show ideas, so if you have one of those, leave that too.

Alice

Advertisements

54 responses

    1. Reminds of when my Dad asked me if I wanted a float, then presented me with a toothpick floating in water. Cruelty, thy name is parent.

  1. Creepy! This is going to scar me for life, yet at the same time, I can’t stop laughing!

    1. I know! I might have to watch more Dr. Phil. Talk about a “changing day in my life”!

  2. April Fool’s day, the day a Jester can be a Jester. Marvelous!
    Wait, what?
    I have no idea….

    1. You’re still just staring at that bunny breastfeeding video, huh?

      1. There was a video?!?
        I think I’m grateful my work server cut that out for me.

        1. Well they didn’t show the actual breastfeeding of the bunny, just talked about it. Not that there is anything wrong with public breastfeeding your bunny. Wait.

          1. Um, yeah, I’d say there is something wrong with that.

  3. Ahhh! This is scary and hilarious all at the same time!
    The *best* April fools joke I every played on someone was when I packed up everything in someone’s office into boxes and moved them out into the office next door. When she got to work the next morning, she went to an empty office and the only thing in there was a “clue.” I sent her on a scavenger hunt through the whole building until she got to the office next door – where we were waiting will all her stuff and we helped her unpack it all 🙂

    1. Oh wow. Thank goodness you didn’t add a little pink slip there! I’ve heard of people dismantling cars, and then reassembling them inside of buildings. Now that’s a lot of work for a prank!

  4. That’s a joke-video, right? …or isn’t it? I once told my parents that I’m pregnant. they bought it immediately and they thought my “April Fools!” was just a lame excuse….

    1. Oh, hey, did you know women will actually sell their used pee sticks on Craigslist so people can – I guess – prank their boyfriends? Wow.

      1. an that’s also NOT a joke lol but they really do that?

        1. Yes! I mean, gross. I didn’t want to save my own stick, and the doctor offered to let me. I was like, um, no thanks.

  5. I laughed so hard reading this, especially since I just saw that episode. You summed up my impression of it perfectly. The worst part is, I was making my son cookies for his birthday while I watched the episode. Now those cookies have a pinch of creepy in them.

    Thanks for the mention!

    1. I haven’t managed to get to the end. I am hoping he suggests a shrink (you know a REAL one) for these people. I mean, babying pets is no big deal but if you’re trying to BECOME the pet or you think you’re enough like them that you can breastfeed them, I think intervention is needed.

      1. I wasn’t too impressed with his advice for either of these two. I agree–psychiatric eval is in order.

  6. Crazy? YES. I think eating dog food is just as gross as breast feeding a bunny… maybe grosser? I don’t know…it’s hard to know how to judge comparisons of crazy at times.

    1. Yeah, on the crazy-o-meter, I’d say they both rate a 10.

      I saw this episode of “Extreme Cheapskates” where this woman looked at the dog food ingredients and was all, hey, this is just like people food and it’s on sale and then served some to her friend. If I were said friend and found this out, I would no longer be said friend. What the heck.

      1. I can’t imagine how they became friends to begin with and I can’t imagine admitting feeding someone dog food on TV…but then again, I’m not rating a 10 on the crazy-o-meter

  7. The best prank I ever played was telling this chick “I do.” She totes fell for it. It wasn’t April Fool’s Day, though. Maybe…hmmmmm……I think I did this wrong.

    1. So “April Fool’s Day” is not a legally recognized reason for divorce, huh? It really should be.

      1. Yes, it should. I was just kidding, your Honor!

        1. Just funnin’! Same with the chainsaw, your honor, I mean can no one take a joke anymore?

          1. Haha, I also love “One More Minute”. I’d rather slam my fingers in a door . . . again and again and again and again and again . . .

          2. I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue, than spend one more minute with you. Ha!

  8. Not the prankster type. I like a good joke, I mean come on, I married Josh. But practical jokes aren’t my thing.

    Bunny lady is EWWW.

    1. Haha, yeah marriage is like a joke played on us – lookie you can wear a pretty dress and it’s all fun but wait then you have to live with the Ken doll and oh crap, Barbie never had to put up with this!

      And yeah . . . bunny lady . . . I didn’t even want to breastfeed my actual human children . . .

  9. I’m too creeped out to even think. Is this lady for real? I’d say do a show on insane people who breastfeed animals, but it’s taken!

    1. I guess you could have a game show where people compete to see who can get higher on the Cray Cray-o-meter. Of course, we already have those shows, but not with fun and prizes!

  10. Dr Phil ended up dead in on of the Scream movies. Best installment yet.

    1. He did? I’ve never had any desire to watch Scream . . . until now. Which one?

      1. He’s in the “before the credits” scene in Scary Movie 4. Sorry, had to look that up.
        It’s a funny bit.

        1. Oh, I can’t wait to watch that! I saw the first Scary Movie but it had a lot of gross humor.

  11. Bunny lady is certifiable. Whoa, I will never look at cute little bunnies the same again and that’s just wrong. As for Dr Phil, yeah, no.

    1. I think there should be a show where people sit around and judge Dr. Phil. Hey, just how much money DO you make off of peoples’ problems? Have any of them actually been helped by you, like, at all? Are you required to worship Oprah daily for giving you the ticket to stardom?

      1. Oh now that is one show I would watch!

  12. Is she not concerned about the rabbit teeth chewing off her nipple? Because let’s face it, there’s a reason you wean a child when they start getting teeth…

    1. Sadly, she mentioned that she stops when they get teeth, it’s just the tiny baby bunnies and I just no, no, nooooooo. On the other hand, they’re encouraging women now to breastfeed their kids for years, and I just think if they’ve got teeth and are able to ask for it by name, it’s time to stop. Just personal opinion, of course, since I used the evil formula instead.

      1. Certainly in our society where there is plenty of food around, there’s no need to breast feed until the child is 3 or 4 (or older, I heard, in some cases). In places where there is less food, and food not suitable for very small people, then women should be encouraged to breast feed for longer if they have the supply. Plus breast feeding apparently acts as a natural contraceptive. (Watch someone in the Roman Catholic Church pick up on this and ban breast feeding next…)

        1. It’s not that great a contraceptive – I know one woman who got pregnant while nursing – then got pregnant again while nursing because . . . yeah.

  13. Ew. Ewwwww. What even makes an idea like this cross someone’s mind?

    1. I can only imagine. It’s like those people that one day decide to take a bite out of their deodorant sticks. I guess she was hanging out with the bunnies and was like hey, I wonder what would happen if I put my boob in a bunny’s mouth?

  14. I have a bunny, two actually, one is actually named Cocoa Puffs, the other we will just say is named JC because my kids don’t think I’m as funny as I think I am. But um, yeah, never crossed my mind to breast feed the bunnies. WTF?

    1. Cocoa puffs the bunny! Haha, that is so appropriate! My brother came up with the “they make tiny cocoa puffs” reference and completely ruined the cereal for me. I can’t believe you never thought to breastfeed your bunnies, though. Don’t you know breast is best???

    1. It okily dokily is! And it wasn’t even on The Learning Channel!

  15. I saw that guy on Dr. Phil’s show. Still can’t believe folk like this exist out there. Never been on a date either. Don’t look like he e er will, unless he meets somebody in the doggy park.

    1. I guess he could get on a doggie dating service. DoggieMingle.com.

  16. Jesus!
    I seriously can’t believe that people is for real. I often like to pretend they are paid actors and it’s just part of a show. But sadly they aren’t, there’s people like that.
    I hope the dog guy has been neutered, god forbids he finds a way to breed with the furry girl.
    I wonder if Nibbles ever nibbled her boobs. “I’m trying to teach them how to dance ballet”
    Who picks up after the dog guy, Bummer?
    He’s 48yo, looks really young, much younger. I guess if living like a dog stops the agin process, if so Woof, Woof!
    Have you ever watched Swamp People? I have the hots for one of the guys, he has no teeth, but sometimes he looks really hot, he’s a puzzle, he looks anywhere between 20 and 200yo, he has like 12 kids, but that doesn’t necessarily reveals his actual age.
    Thing is I can’t understand most of the show, I need the CC.

    1. As for pranks, I like this one, because the woman reminded me of Swamp People

    2. Oh, Swamp people – no, but there are so many shows like that. There’s one about this “Turtle Man” guy who also has no teeth, runs after critters for no real profit just fun, and does this yippy yodeling thing that makes me want to submerge his head under water for a long , long time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: