Day 5: If You Like Pina Coladas

This one should be easy.  There are so many songs that get stuck in my head on a regular basis.  So. Many.  But how to choose the most obnoxious one?

Heyyyyyy Macarena . . . you're welcome.

Heyyyyyy Macarena . . . you’re welcome.

No, not that one, though undeniably it gets stuck in your head, I’ve already covered it.  The worst songs are the ones that not only get in your head but that you hate beyond measure.  I don’t actually hate Macarena – the first few times I hear it.  It’s after you hear it dozens of times that I begin freaking out.  But there is one song I only have to hear once, and yet radio stations continue to play it, probably because djs are ticked at getting low salaries.  Here it is, guys, here it is.

 

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long
Like a worn-out recording of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin’, I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns there was this letter I read

 

Get ready for it . . .

 

‘If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for write to me and escape’

 

Do you like pina coladas???

Do you like pina coladas???

 

Arghhhhhhhh!  I hate this song.  Hate it.  It gets into your head and just stays there, and it is the worst possible song ever about the worst possible people.  I guess I should show you more, in case somehow you have managed to miss it.

 

I didn’t think about my lady, I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and my old lady had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet, I thought it wasn’t half bad

 

I’m bored so I’m gonna go cheat on my wife!  Yay!  Check out my song!  It’s so awesome!

 

“Yes, I like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O’Malleys where we’ll plan our escape”

 

For cheating lovers everywhere!

For cheating lovers everywhere!

 

Yes!  I DO like Pina Coladas!  Also standing in rain!  I like getting drunk!  Also cheating on my wife!  How about you?  Of course if you know the rest of the song, it turns out his wife likes cheating on her husband too, cause that’s who shows up in response to the personal ad!  Isn’t that romantic?  They’re both totally untrustworthy jerks, but at least they found out they both like pina coladas and standing in the rain and cheating on each other!

 

Now technically this song is called “Escape” and it’s by Jimmy Buffet who also wrote a song about Margaritaville, which is probably where this pina colada guy escaped to after he figured out he had VD.  But enough of that.  The point is, no matter how awful this song is, it sticks in your head, and no one remembers the “escape” part. They just remember “If you like pina coladas, if you like pina coladas, blah blah make it stop, make it stopppp!”

 

Yes, I know, I’m responsible for another earworm, but the challenge made me do it.  If it gets too bad, go have a pina colada.

 

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48 responses

  1. Imagine that dialogue in such a vampire-soap: do you like Piña Colada? Naaah just Bloody Mary … priceless.
    aww now the maccaroni-song sticks in my head…. Heeeey Maccaroni! Have a great cinco de mayo!

    1. Edward: Are you into stalkers? Do you have half a brain?

  2. My personal dreaded ear worm is also Jimmy Buffet, but “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” When someone was signing the song years and years ago, I thought they made it up. No way was there a song with the lyrics, “I like mine with lettuce and tomato.” Unfortunately I was wrong and since then it randomly pops into my head.

    1. Cheeseburger in paradise? I’m glad I somehow missed that one.

  3. This has to be the most hated song ever. I know someone who despises Rupert Holmes as a person just because of this song. Sheesh!

    I like “Escape”, but then again, I like about anything. it’s isn’t Rupert’s best, though…. that was his follow-up semi-hit called “Him”. Yep, that one’s about cheating too, but this time, ol’ Rupe’s doesn’t think it’s so funny since he isn’t getting in on the action too!

    Oh, random bit of trivia… “Escape” was the final #1 hit of the 1970’s!

    1. I. Love. This. Song.

      1. You mean you like pina coladas? And getting caught in the rain?

        1. Only on the dunes of the cape.

          1. Watch out for the sand – gets in weird places.

          2. Yeah. My pina colada.
            Hmph.

    2. This is why the 1970s were just so wrong. So wrong.

    3. I feel like this song was the real reason the 70’s ended. “Decade’s over, move along, nothing to see here…”

  4. Great, now Pina Coladas is stuck in my head, too. And I only had to read the blog title for that to happen. 😀

    1. It’s just that insidious. Still better than Cats in the Cradle, but only by a little.

      1. Jeez! Now Cats in the Cradle is in my head. You’re killing me here, Alice! 😀

  5. Can I get a coke instead?
    I’m not a big fan of coconut.

    1. I HATE coconut too. I was so happy cause someone brought a cake and then there was COCONUT all over it and it was ruined. Sadface. I’d rather have a coke too.

  6. Oh, yeah, that one’s a dumper for sure. One of my fitness DVDs uses that song for a track, and I can barely get through the step aerobics during it. Just want to upchuck. Then it’s stuck in my head the rest of the day.

    1. That was on a fitness track? Oh, man, I’d be throwing my hand weights through the screen.

  7. People that hate this Rupert Holmes gem of the 70s are musically illiterate Philistines.
    Yeah, I said it.

    1. Illiterate philistine! Cool! That sounds really important!

  8. Best. Post. Ever… ! =)

    In the CG, we used to turn the volume up to max and play this in the shop at 5 am… the engineers would literally threaten to kill themselves ! =) =) Ah, I do miss the good old days, button-pusher that I am !

    My worst some is MICKEY, Tony Basil… ug, am gonna barf… !

    1. I have to admit, I actually like Mickey for some twisted reason. The video is quite possibly the worst ever made, though. Why did she wear clown makeup? Cheerleaders don’t wear clown makeup. And they’re not that old either.

  9. In defiance of your wish that this song get stuck in my head, I refused to listen to it.

    1. You only have to hear the title. If you like pina coladas, and gettin’ caught in the rain, if you like to cheat on peeps, if you have half a brain . . .

      1. I don’t like any of those things, to be perfectly frank.

        1. Me neither. Why is romantic to be standing in the rain? You get cold and wet. Also pina coladas suck.

          1. Exactly. And you know what happens to, um, certain body parts in the cold. No thanks.

  10. Haven’t heard this one in years. Just the blog title brings back the lyrics and the subject and I have to go with TD on this one and not listen to it so I don’t spend the rest of the day humming along…

    1. I’ll help. The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon . . .

  11. This song is silly, Alice. They’re such cheaters!! I do love piña coladas and now I want one.

    1. Wow, this really reconnects us honey. Of course I have now tapped your phone and have you followed, but wow, we like pina coladas!

  12. I think you’re missing the touching point of the song. These two were able to reconnect and discover that special spark that brought them together in the first place – sneaking around and cheating on their then-honeys to hook up with someone new.
    Ah, love. Kinda gets you.

    1. I’d love to hear what happened after this song. What are you doing with the paper honey? Are you taking out another personal ad? You ARE aren’t YOU. BASTARD!

      1. THAT would be a great post category: Song Sequels We’d Like To Hear.

  13. I’d rather have a Cheeseburger in Paradise.

    1. Me too. Cheeseburgers yum.

  14. How about Two piña coladas? One for each hand…

    1. They both have coconut. Yucks.

      1. So you don’t like piña coladas. Your real issue with the song is revealed.

        1. also don’t like cheaters, or the tune, or the lyrics, or gettin’ caught in the rain, or making love on sand dunes (ittttch).

  15. Curse you! While Jimmy Buffet did not write Escape (Rupert Homes did) you now have two songs in my head warring for attention; Escape and Margaritaville. I think I might just have to go fix myself a very stiff drink and try to sleep this off.

  16. I’ve heard this song dozens of time, and I’ve never listened to lyrics past pina coladas. I guess I blocked it out thinking it was some kind of a pina colada ad.

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