Agony of De Feet

Okay, time to lighten things up around here.  Especially on my feet.  Cause I’m done talking about jerkwads that fill up cyberspace.  Back to talking about me!  And my feet!  Also my insane obsession with fitbit which led to walking which led to said foot issues.  This is totes going to be more exciting than reading the Dr. Scholl’s website (motto: You be old, here be cushy stuffs).

Dang it, I missed Dr. Scholl comfort week again.

Dang it, I missed Dr. Scholl comfort week again.

I mean, it just figures that I would go and try to get healthy and then cause something else to go wrong.  I’m like one of those cars you got a really good deal on because it constantly breaks down.  Speaking of cars, did you know you are supposed to rotate your shoes every six months or 5,000 miles or whatever?  Neither did I.  I’m not sure if it’s true or if the shoe mafia planned this together to make us buy more shoes.

Anyway, I started walking more and it was great because not only was I making myself healthier (I think) I was also releasing lots of Alice rage and anxiety which is a good thing for everybody.  But THEN, then my feet started to hurt.  A LOT.  Thing Two loves giving foot massages with lotion.  I can’t complain; the kid comes cheap.  But it just wasn’t doing the trick.  I was still in pain.

So I figured, hey my shoes are um, let’s see, when did I last buy shoes . . . uh, yeah I should get some new ones.  So I dragged my husband out to the mall where I tried on several different highly priced athletic shoes.

This should be NO problem.

This should be NO problem.

First Lady Footlocker.  I was told I should have my foot measured.  Well I did, and this dude says I wear size 6 even though I’m pretty sure I’ve been an 8 since high school.  As it turns out, he’s wrong, I’m at least an 8.  Also, according to him, I have high arches.  News to me.  Anyway, that was why the shoes did not fit, says he.  I was tempted to buy some socks or something from him (did you know there are specific socks for walking and running?  Me neither!!!) since he worked so hard and got nothing.

We walked down the mall, passing Payless Shoes, and stopped at Hibbetts Sports.  My husband said “Hey, let’s try this one.” because he didn’t at all want to get this over with or anything.  I tried on a few pairs there with Mindy or Cindy or Sarah, whatever.  Her nametag said “Newbie”.  I mentioned back pain and my supposedly high arches and she pulled out some fancy insoles and these heel things that feel like jello (my husband suggested actual jello as a cheaper substitute but I doubt the long term effectiveness).  So we shoved all these things into some shoes.  I found two pairs of shoes that were pretty good.  In the end, the one that was 70 dollars cheaper won out because I’m poor and because I was buying these fancy inserts that were going to make everything better but made the price rise significantly.

I wonder if there are inserts for these. . . I like the subtle look.

I wonder if there are inserts for these. . . I like the subtle look.

So I wore the shoes out and things seemed okay.  My husband was relieved at least.  Then I got home and walked in the shoes some more and realized I was having trouble balancing and the tendons just above my foot now hurt and dang those stupid inserts might be working but they were way too hard.  Considering how much I spent, I was slightly annoyed at this.  I decided to return them.  This was all about shoe comfort, and not at all about cost or buyer’s remorse or the fact that I can’t make a freaking decision.  I thought my husband might beat his head against the tree he was trying to cut down because . . . saws and man and stuff.  But at least he didn’t have to go with me.  What with the tree.

Luckily, the dude at the cash register was willing to take them back without a fuss – he looked like someone who just wanted to get home and play Xbox.  I left and stepped into Payless Shoes.  And woot, found shoes looking almost exactly like the shoes in the last two stores, except I got two freaking pairs for 30 dollars vs . . . the extra amount I spent before.  Score.

Except I still needed insoles because I wanted them a little more cushy.  So I went to Wal-Mart with Thing Two who suggested I try the Dr. Scholl sizer machine because she likes seeing mom balance on one foot.  She was most annoyed it wouldn’t tell her a size.  Probably because she’s ten years old and her weight’s not even registering.  What a problem.

Beam me up, Scholl.

Beam me up, Scholl.

So I found my supposedly custom fit (which said I have normal arches btw), but wtf they were 50 bucks which was more than two pairs of shoes.  Sorry to you Mecca employees, but I was a very bad Alice and opened the sealed box to try on the insoles and they did feel good.  But I wasn’t sure because after all I had not researched this to freaking death yet.  So I put them back and instead got this one for “athletes” (stop laughing) because it had gell all over.  And was 30 bucks cheaper.  It feels okay.  But I wasn’t done yet.

Oh, thank goodness, they've got a variety of THESE too.

Oh, thank goodness, they’ve got a variety of THESE too.

I looked on Amazon and read reviews about this miracle Dr. Scholl insert thing that is just for your foot (You get like a number- I’m a 310!  I think that means my foot is very smart.) and found that they had the same inserts for 30 bucks.  So I bought them.  I’m not sure how much I have spent, gotten back, and spent again at this point.  And I’m still researching because OMG I am obsessive which is great for my job but not for anything else.

Who knew walking was so much trouble?

41 responses

  1. Have you tried channeling Nancy Sinatra? “These shoes are made for walking….”

    1. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over youuuu! Hey, if you walked over some people, I bet that could count as hurdles!

  2. OMG! Some unsuspecting customer is going to get your foot cooties!

    1. They sure are! Well if foot cooties can be transferred through socks . . . sorry Mecca customers.

  3. I wear a pair of Sketchers slip ons when I get on the treadmill. I have huge feet and that was about the only thing I could find in my size. But I like them.

    By the way, what in the fuck was that skull thing?

    1. I have no idea. I googled weird shoes on Google Images. There was one that looked like . . . you gotta just see it for yourself. OMGAWD.

  4. Just to forewarn you, the random aches and pains kinda keep continuing as the years progress. For instance, you start pouring a glass of water and suddenly it feels like a tree fell on your arm because why not?

    1. Makes sense. Last time I complained to the doctor about an ache he said it was old age and I was only freaking 35. Now I’m closer to 40 so he’ll probably tell me next that I’m ready to die.

  5. I would like to buy shoes with you, think that would make my day today on MOANday :o)

    1. It really is MOANday. My shoes don’t feel right. Do I have to “break them in”? Will this break my feet? I have those Dr. Scholls athlete gel things and I am not gellin’.

  6. I work out a lot so I have to replace my sneakers fairly often. It’s nice when you find something that works. Hope your tootsies feel better soon. If not, you might want to visit a podiatrist.

    1. A podiatrist, and back specialist, and hip specialist and neck specialist and . . .

      As a part of my obsessive sneaker research, what kind do you wear, btw?

      1. I use a New Balance cross-trainer. Sometimes Nike cross-trainers. Depends on which one I get a better price on at the time.

  7. […] This music SUCKS! And these insoles I just bought smell like lotion! […]

  8. My Nikes are about 5 years old now and they’re pretty banged up because I wear them every day to work, and the Odour Eaters are almost completely worn through.
    However, I hate shoe shopping so I’m just gonna have to live with them.

    1. Replace the Odour Eaters for sure.

      You really don’t know what you’re missing shoe shopping. Not sure about over there, but here the big style is nuclear colors so people can see you from miles away. Not sure if they also give off radiation.

      1. I’m not sure “nuclear pink” would go down so well at the office 🙂

  9. Seriously, you are not old. You’re just out of shape. Maybe you should get a bicycle. Good exercise, and much easier on the feet.

    1. I have a bicycle but I need to air up the tires and the air pump is in the garage . . . behind the huge tree branches. I do have an elliptical bike which I should get back on. The fitbit does not track these, but you can log them under activities.

      1. You guys don’t own an air compressor? Walk to the corner with the bike and get air. Or get some exercise clearing tree branches. Unless the trees will kill you with evil pollen.

        1. I was saying the air compressor was in the garage. And yes I might get evil pollen, bite me. 🙂

          1. Then walking the bike to the corner is definitely easier. Or get someone else to dig out the air compressor.

          2. I don’t have to air up the elliptical bike.

          3. It would make me feel like a hamster in a wheel.

          4. We are all hamsters in the Great Wheel of Life.

  10. I’m totally with you on the obsessive research and buying the cheaper ones because poor.

    1. How do you stop obsessive research? I see help programs for people who obsess about say killing someone or that they will be in an accident or whatever but no one who obsesses over the right shoe or the right yoga stuff or the right vacuum.

      1. “or the right vacuum”

        Dude! I just spent weeks researching vacuums. I stopped when I finally bought one and I’m pretty happy with it.

        1. I did that 10 years ago before I bought my Miele. Now no research necessary: BEST VACUUM EVER! 🙂

          1. I read that as “I did 10 years of research” and I was wondering how you survived without a vacuum for 10 years. Clearly, I need more coffee.

          2. This could actually happen in my house. The ten years without vacuuming. Possibly also the ten years of research on why my house is dirty.

          3. *hands goldfish another cup of bold…

          4. Why, thank you. I’m still working on my first cup.

  11. Ha… ‘but I wasn’t sure because after all I hadn’t researched this to freaking death yet’ – that sounds so like me!

    1. It’s nice to find a kindred spirit!

  12. I do the same in the research before I buy department, Alice. And I spent the last 6 months trying on locally, buying online, and returning shoes for the upcoming wedding. You can imagine my relief when my daughter said, “I want everyone in the wedding party wearing cow-girl boots.” WOOHOO! Problem solved in 1 trip to the boot store (‘course, I spent half my mortgage on boots, but what the hell! It’s a wedding for God’s sake!)

    Anywho, I finally found a pair of shoes for my treadmill (and good for walking/jogging outside as well) from a store called Fleet Feet where they help 50-yr. olds (everyone, actually) find a pair of shoes and inserts that actually fit their aging feet! They make you try them out before you buy too.

    I can always tell when it’s time for a new pair when my ankles start hurting. The Walking Store is another option if you have one near you. They use technology (like what you showed us from Dr. Scholl’s) that apparently tells them what your stride looks like thus what kind of shoe you need. I think they were correct about my foot, but were a bit pricey (not necessarily more than Fleet Feet), but I’m loyal so am sticking with the first place. Oh, my shoes usually last 10 months to a year, but I work out 3-5 days every week.

    Sorry this is so long… My Mom has tons of foot problems (sister did too), so I’m fighting genetics here, but am determined to live pain/surgery-free as long as possible! Chiropractic helps a ton too (only once-a-month since my insurance doesn’t cover it). Just as an aside … I find that gardening MURDERS my feet, for some reason. They never hurt as much as they do after a day spent outside! 😥

    Take care and keep walking!

    1. What kind of shoes were they? I’m not sure if we have a Fleet Feet, though I swear we must have a million other shoes stores, none of which are that great.

      1. I can’t remember what I buy, sorry. It’s not a brand I had heard of before. For many years I exclusively used 1 particular style of Adidas running shoes, but I began to have trouble finding them, so switched. Maybe when I get home I can send you the info, but truly, every foot is different (I have an enormously high arch and instep), so what I wear would likely not suit you.

  13. I have two pairs of sketchers shape-ups sandals, which are seriously the most comfortable shoes ever. Allegedly they tone your legs and bum, which I don’t think they do, but they certainly are nice and squishy underfoot. Although mine are getting rather unpleasantly smelly, due to my feet being rather malodorous come summer months…

    1. I have some Sketchers too – they are called Go Walk (creative, right?). They are pretty comfy – so far. Feet still hurt after a day of walking so I’ve scaled it back.

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