Things were going well. I wasn’t sick all the time. There were birds twittering in the trees and crap.
Then came . . . THE COLD. And the birds froze and died and fell out of the trees. Not really, they got the heck out of here, but I can’t because I live here. I live in Texas, so it’s not as bad as Yankee weather. I don’t understand how anyone can live up north without sacrificing themselves to a snow plow. My father had a sophisticated term for this type of cold. “Colder than a well-digger’s butt in Idaho”. That is the ultimate in cold, though I have never been to Idaho, met a well-digger, or taken the temperature of his butt.
Let it snow, let it snow, MAKE IT STOP. I hate that song, and the White Christmas song, and I hate snow. Also ice. And cold, did I mention that? Partly I hate cold because it makes my lungs have seizures or something and then refuse to come out and play. So it’s hard to breathe and I get sick easier. This is partly why I haven’t posted in a while. I am sorry about that. You can go on living happily now.
I went to the doctor, but he said I just have a cold that has lasted since last Wednesday. A cold – from the cold. How nice. This cold cold has stuffed up both my nostrils and my brain. I can’t the think straight. Thinking is not needed to write on my blog. It is needed to work, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that. I have to write a short bio on former slave Frederick Douglass for our exhibit. This is what I have so far:
Where was I? Oh, yeah, the cold. Did you know there are people who actually like this weather? I knew one guy who did, and it’s a good thing he lived elsewhere cause this makes me angry. Know what else does? Elsa. That’s right, the freaking snow queen from Disney’s Frozen. I used to like her but now I’m starting to think she’s kind of a jerk. Prancing around in a flimsy dress while everyone else freezes to death. Real nice, Elsa.
So I’m supposed to end this blog post with a kick or something. But I got nothing but rambling. So here were go.
He lived. It was cold. He died.