Nope, I’m on day . . . 6. That just leaves – carry the two – there’s several days left. So I skipped a bit again and I’m gonna have to throw a few on here, which is better than bothering you with several short pointless posts, right? Sure.
Day 6: Take a few minutes to call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Tell them how much you appreciate them.
Wait, what? Call someone? They mean, like, text, right? Cause calling is such a pain. Also, who is there to call? No one ever picks up cause, well, since no one calls anymore it must be one of them there telemarketer types. Or bill collectors. Avoid, avoid.
But I signed the fake pledge so – I guess I could call my husband. Haven’t talked to that guy in a while. Wonder what he’s up to – besides the insides of a car. Must find out.
Voicemail. That figures. I told his voicemail about my appreciation for him, and also my appreciation for voicemail. I should get a “k” text any minute now.
Day 7: Take a picture of one thing, person, place or specific moment that makes you feel grateful. Share it with your social network.
My daughter lost my camera bag with the battery charger for a while, so no chance to take a picture. Yes I have an actual camera that isn’t my phone. Anyway, I just read this post today complete with picture. I am grateful that I do not live in this specific moment. The 1950s, otherwise known as the age of Lysol.
The ad is kind of small, so best to view it on That Retro Blog, a blog created by my pal Merbear, which occasionally also stars my own sarcastic commentary. For more info on this fabulous lysol douche – yes I said douche and lysol in the same sentence – see here.
Day 8: Send thank you notes to five people who deserve a little recognition.
Thank you notes? Phone calls? Was this gratitude journal written in the 1950s? Do they expect me to be a wizard? Cause my hand cramps. And I have no idea where any official thank you notes are located. And I’m lazy. Gratefulness is HARRRD.
Fine, okay, I will list some people, but no one be upset if I don’t mention you cause it’s not that I don’t like you (probably), it’s that I have the memory of a gerbil.
1. Merbear: My Wonder Twin who listens to me whine for free, even with her own issues.
2. Noxema Mom: We’ve been friends for almost a decade, but it feels like we were switched at birth at times. She has no blog, but she knows who she is.
3. Ravinj: We’ve known each other since we were eleven and twelve. There are no secrets. She knows about every stupid thing I’ve ever done. Best to keep these people close.
4. Mental Mama: Also listens to me whine and has been where I’ve been (crazyville).
5. Every one else who is special and I can’t remember cause gerbil brain: Thanks. You guys are the greatest. Kiss kiss, Alice.
I just remembered I didn’t add in my Things. Or that husband person. Whoops. They get it.
Okay, so done with the gratitude for now. I would like to thank the Academy that I missed the Oscars last night, though I hear there were some decent dresses worn.
Requests for Alice!!!
P.S. I’m wondering if there was anything you’d like to see me write about. For instance, I was just watching TLC the other day, and there was Sexy Times in the ER where a guy used hot sauce where he really shouldn’t and all sorts of shenanigans took place ending up at the hospital! And TLC just keeps crankin’ out the weirdo shows like “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” in spite of the hot sauce incident and “Strange Addictions”. Latest one was a guy addicted to eating ONLY French Fries (way too edible there), and another dude who liked dressing up as a rubbery, cross-dressing doll. Also, there are several children’s shows I haven’t tackled to the ground yet, like Maisy Mouse, and Cailou, and who knows what other demon filled creations are out there to entertain our kids. There is also a certain population that never comments but really, really likes my posts about torturing virtual people. So anyhoo, let me know in the comments below if there’s something you’d like to see. Grats to all.
Alice (cause I’m so bold)