In case you missed it somehow, I dig that movie Frozen. The funny thing is, I’ve only watched it twice (I swear!  No word on how many times I’ve heard one of the songs).  I also love collecting the dolls along with my kids.  I got a new Elsa – she’s so fancy, everybody knows, cause she’s got a fancy outfit, and a fancy price.  But anyhoo, she’s also quite flexible if you TAKE HER OUT OF THE BOX.  I mean, really, what else do you buy and then just leave in the box forever?  I don’t get it.  You’re supposed to play with them.  Studies show that if more people just played with dolls, they wouldn’t be playing boom boom with guns and accidentally shooting their pals during drunken hunting trips.  Or becoming vice president.

But moving on.  Even if you haven’t seen the movie at all, you can’t help but know some of the songs because they are played over and over.  And over.  In one of them “Do you want to build a snowman?” Anna sits outside of her sister Elsa’s door for like thirteen years or so, asking her to come out and play.  Anna doesn’t take a hint easily.  Anyway, I was wondering if, while Anna was out there running around the castle aimlessly and banging on her door, or sitting at her door, or leaning up against her door, what was Elsa doing in her room?

Ohhh Ellllllsaaa, come out and plaaaay . . .

Well it just so happens there was a hidden camera in her room (probably set there by a relative of that creeper Hans) that caught some of Elsa’s moves on camera.  Let’s check them out, shall we?

Elsa quite enjoyed coloring and writing letters to “Dear Abby”.

Dear Abby:

My parents locked me in my room cause I have freezing powers and my little sister has spent the last decade slamming her body into my door and screaming at me to go play with her.  It was all her fault I froze her brain in the first place.  I’d thank you to please answer my letter this time instead of telling me to “please seek help”.  That’s why I WROTE you.  Jeez.

Elsa

She practiced Yoga for better control.

Dear Abby:

I am trying to practice Yoga to help with my little problem.  I keep freezing my Yoga mat and slipping.  Also when I do headstands, the blood rushes to my head and and I get brain freeze.  Should I give it up?

Elsa

Elsa tried out gymnastics.

Dear Abby:

Gymnastics is really tough.  I can do a mean splits, but it doesn’t appear super elegant in my wool dress.  My parents will not buy me a leotard despite being a king and queen.  They are unfair, especially since they let Anna ride a bicycle through the house while standing up.  I heard her crash into the stairs the other day.

Elsa

Elsa tried out dancing.

Dear Abby

My parents went away on a two week trip, so I did a little dance.  It’s hard to dance in this dress.  I don’t dare go out, yet, because my sister just told me our parents mysteriously died in a shipwreck.  I don’t believe her.  I think she is possessed. 

Elsa

Elsa played with ponies

Dear Abby

I don’t actually play with ponies.  I am a collector.  I just think they’re nice, is all, and magical, and sparkly, and express the true meaning of friendship.  Also I think they are spiritual talismans that can ward off evil.  I plan on stringing one around my  neck before I face my sister.

Elsa

Elsa practiced for her debut.

Dear Abby:

I’m tired of this buttoned up look.  I decided to show off a little shoulder today.  Look out, world.

Elsa

Elsa tries out her Marilyn impersonation.

Dear Abby

Oops, some wind blew up my dress the other day. I have some pretty nice legs.  I wonder if my powers could go into dressmaking?  Did I tell you I created a living snowman back when I was four? 

Elsa

P.S. I think I’m finally ready to leave my room.  You can call off the restraining order now.

So anyway, for those of you at all familiar with the movie – what do YOU think Elsa was doing behind the door?  Also, do you think maybe Anna is secretly evil?  Here’s a video that might give you second thoughts.