Disney Hunger Games: The Interviews Part One

Sorry for the delay, but the Game Makers have not exactly been concentrating on their duties. (Click to enlarge photos)

The Game Makers have been a little distracted.  Are you surprised it's them?

Are you surprised it’s them?

Anyway, after some quick wardrobe changes with their stylists – Elsa and the Fairy Godmother were worked pretty hard – it is time for the customary pre-game interviews.

First, let me introduce to your our host!

All the way from the Southern Isles, it's Hans - out on probation!

All the way from the Southern Isles, it’s Hans – out on probation!

First up for an interview is Prince Eric from the Atlantis District.  Let’s see what questions Hans has for him.

Hans: Nice to meet you Eric.  How are you enjoying things so far? Eric: Oh, it's really nice up here.  Great seafood. Don't tell Ariel.

Hans: Nice to meet you Eric. How are you enjoying things so far?
Eric: Oh, it’s really nice up here. Great seafood. Don’t tell Ariel.

Ariel: Eric, Eric! Eric: She knows!

Ariel: Eric, Eric!
Eric: She knows!

Hans: Uhh, Ariel, nice to meet you too . . . why are you wearing your wedding dress? Ariel: Because Eric and I were going to get married . . . before . . . the games.  Sob.

Hans: Uhh, Ariel, also from the Atlantis district – nice to meet you too . . . why are you wearing your wedding dress?
Ariel: Because Eric and I were going to get married . . . before . . . the games. Sob.

Hans: Haven't you two been married a while now?  I mean - I saw the rip in Eric's clothes. They don't even fit him. Ariel: Umm . . . no . . . . no just getting married.  It's horrible!

Hans: Haven’t you two been married a while now? I mean – I saw the rip in Eric’s clothes. They don’t even fit him.  And a wedding is not getting you out of the games.
Ariel: Crap.

Next up is Princess Aurora from the Narcolepsy District.

aurora interview1

Hans: Aurora, lovely to meet you. That’s a beautiful dress.    Aurora: Yes, but the fairies couldn’t decide on the color. Pink, blue, pink, blue. I see that in my nightmares you know? Pink or blue? Pink or blue?  It’s exhausting!

Hans: So what skills do you think you'll bring to . . . um, highness? Aurora: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Hans: So what skills do you think you’ll bring to . . . um, highness?
Aurora: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

After unloading Aurora from the couch, it was the second tribute from Narcolepsy, Prince Phillip’s, turn.

Hans: Prince Phillip, welcome.  I hear you once killed a dragon.  Do you think that gives you an edge? Phillip: Yeah.  A sharp one.

Hans: Prince Phillip, welcome. I hear you once killed a dragon. Do you think that gives you an edge?
Phillip: Yeah. A sharp one.

Moving on. Next on the hot seat are tributes from the French-ish district, starting with Belle.

Hans: Welcome, Belle.  Uh . . . Belle.  Do you - think your team will win? Belle: I'm reading. Hans: But the book doesn't even have any pictures.

Hans: Welcome, Belle. Uh . . . Belle. Do you – think your team will win?
Belle: I’m reading.
Hans: But the book doesn’t even have any pictures.

After Belle finished her chapter, it was Beast’s turn.

Hans: So - Prince . . . Beast?  Those claws should come in handy in the games. Beast: My name is  Adam.  And I am totally suing that enchantress. Hans: But everyone knows you're cooler as the Beast.

Hans: So – Prince . . . Beast? Those claws should come in handy in the games.
Beast: My name is
Adam. And I am totally suing that enchantress.
Hans: But everyone knows you’re cooler as the Beast.

My life sucks.

Beast: My life sucks.

And now time for the last interviews of the day : welcome the Clan Du -whatever district.  First up is Merida.

Hans: Merida, tell me about yourself. Merida: I AM MERIDA, FIRST BORN DESCENDENT OF CLAN DUNBROCH!

Hans: Merida, tell me about yourself.
Merida: I AM MERIDA, FIRST BORN DESCENDENT OF CLAN DUNBROCH!

Elinor: Get away from my daughter!  I can be a reaaaal mother bear! Merida: Muuum, yer embarrasing meee! Hans: Security!

Elinor: Get away from my daughter! I can be a reaaaal mother bear!
Merida: Muuum, yer embarrasing meee!
Hans: Security!

Next up are the triplet tributes, Hammock, Hammich, and Hummus . . . or . . . whatever their names are.

Hans: They're bears. Are we serious?  Are we really doing this?

Hans: They’re bears. Are we serious? Are we really doing this?

Triplets: Hiiiiii!  Got any porridge? Hans: Will someone get the three bears here off my lap?

Triplets: Hiiiiii! Got any porridge?
Hans: Will someone get the three bears here off my lap?

Hans: Seriously . . . now they're just staring at me.  And licking their lips.  Anyone?

Hans: Seriously . . . now they’re just staring at me. And licking their lips. Anyone?

Merida: Oh, dear, my bad!  They'll be back to normal soon!  I hope. Hans: I should have stayed in prison.

Merida: Oh, dear, my bad! They’ll be back to normal soon! I hope.
Hans: I should have stayed in prison

Hans: Well that's all for today, but stay tuned for the rest of the interviews.  After the Beast and those bears I need some freaking Zyrtec.

Hans: Well that’s all for today, but stay tuned for the rest of the interviews. After the Beast and those bears I need some freaking Zyrtec.

Still 9 districts left to go!  How will interviews go with the others?  Anna?  Aladdin?  Mulan?  Those other guys?  Will we get to the killing and stuff already?  Stay tuned.

. . . . . To be continued.  These posts may last as long as the movies!

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10 responses

  1. I have a feeling that “These posts may last as long as the movies!” should replace “and may the odds be ever in your favour!”

    1. I have zero problems with this.

  2. Way better than the one movie I saw. You ladies fn made my day.

    1. Thanks! We do have fun doing weird things with dolls.

  3. Wait, are the three bears participating as a contestant, or as a game hazard to chase and harass other players with stupid questions?

    1. They can be all of that and more!

  4. What is Ursula doing to Hans? Love the interviews. Merida’s mom is going to be a nightmare mother in law someday.

    1. I think Ursula is sucking the lint from his belly button. I wonder if the triplets will ever separate, or simply marry one wife. Or bear.

  5. I am soooo naming my next triplet Hummus.

    1. I hear that name is all the rage. So are triplets. Try having someone else birth and raise them, though.

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