More Awesome (and Disturbing) Ebay Finds!

So I was scrolling through Ebay because there was housework to do and BORING when I came across some stuff you just really have to get!  I mean this stuff is just so . . . it’s just . . . wow.  Like better than someone’s plucked mustache remains wow.  Or a booger that is shaped just like the Virgin Mary wow.  Or . . . I’ll get to the ebay finds.

I didn’t find any boogers.  I didn’t look for any either.  But I DID find . . .

  1. Evil Fairy Godmother
Bippity Boppity I KILL YOUUU!

Bippity Boppity I KILL YOUUU!

Wow, you gotta love them camera angels.  This doll isn’t really that scary in real life.  I know because I have one, not the “new” Helena Bonham Carter sexy fairy godmother, but the bean bag fat bottomed fairy.  You know, cause when it comes to fairy godmothers, it’s all about da base.  But wow, maybe this person should have thought a little more before shooting this picture in the dark with that lightning cause she scares the crap out of me.  Please don’t fulfill any wishes, Satan – er Fairy Godmother!

2. Face Off Necklaces

Hey has anyone seen Cinderella I . . .arghhhh!

Hey has anyone seen Belle . . .arghhhh!

Yes, according to this, that is the face of Belle, though I’m not sure how you’d tell her face from any other severed doll face.  It kind of reminds me of that Oscar-Worthy Face-Off movie where John (wacky Scientologist) Travolta and Nicholas (just whack) Cage switch faces because . . . they had special effects?  I forget.  Anyway, I think this artist should move on and try to cash in on that movie with Nick Cage and Travolta necklaces because nothing would ward off evil fairy godmothers like a couple of those guys’ faces around your neck.  Just sayin’.

3. What’s that under your dress, Tiana?

That Alice is a real sicko.

That Alice is a real sicko.

Yes, yes, SEEMS like a normal doll.  AT FIRST.

OMG what genetic mutation is THIS? She's part frog! You just never know. Disney, you sickos.

OMG what genetic mutation is THIS?

So all this time Tiana’s been hiding a giant frog under her dress.  Why?  Or . . . or is that part of her body?  In case you missed the movie, or actually watched it and still missed half of it (like I did), Tiana turns into a frog along with her prince for a while and wacky hijinks ensue.  But then she becomes human at the end.  At least . . . we thought she did.  That must have been a weird wedding night.

4. And now for something normal . . . but stupid.

Hey that's a neat . . . Cinderella pin?

Hey that’s a neat . . . Cinderella pin?

No, the weird thing about this isn’t the price tag (though it does boggle my mind).  It’s not the pin either, even though it’s just a face with no body.  It’s more like the fact that the girl in question is not Cinderella.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I don’t expect everyone to know Disney like I obsessively do, but if you can’t figure out who this girl is, you might want to say, look at the title of the blog you’ve been reading.  Look familiar now?

Hint: It’s Alice in Wonderland!  Try doing some research Ebay person!  And that’s not all.  One more example.

Did Mulan just get a tan or did things seriously heat up in China?

Did Mulan just get a tan or did things seriously heat up in China?

This one is even less subtle, but to fill any of you non-Disney freaks in, Mulan is from China.  She wears a dress just like that.  But that’s not Mulan, it’s someone from Arabia.  That’s right, it’s Cinderella!  No, no, no it’s Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.  Mulan’s kinda paler, and has those slanted eyes, and is, you know, an entirely different ethnicity.  But hey, it’s tough enough to tell them apart when they’re white, am I right?

I have so many more to show, but I’ll keep it short so that I can milk one more post out of this save some fabulous stuff for next time!

5. Puppy abuse, princess style

Just kill me now.

Just kill me now.

I’m not going to make you guess which princess dress this is, because it’s not important.  Also it’s in the heading.  The most important thing is that this poor little pampered pet is being forced to wear a princess dress.  And just look at that pleading face!  I mean, the dog has a hard enough time hanging out with other dogs considering it looks like a rather large furry gerbil with ponytails.  Then you put the dress on her.  You’ve doomed your dog to getting her butt kicked on the playground.  If she’s lucky.  Shame on you, puppy parents.

Want to see more Ebay finds?  Especially ones that revolve around Disney since that’s what I search for a lot (be thankful I don’t search for boogers).  I thought so!  I will dig some more up from the dregs of Ebay, just for you guys!  Because that’s the kind of sharing Alice I am.  You’re welcome.

Cinderella Alice

11 responses

  1. I don’t know. Not being either a Disney nor a Barbie fan, I find these kind of scary. Usually the skin tone and dress are the only differences in these dolls as far as I can see. Loved the post!

    1. Thank you!
      Yeah with the “princess” line it can get that way. But the Disney store versions are usually better. Of course this isn’t even a Disney doll either – it’s actually the cheaper Mattel version. Which I know because – I get so many dolls for my kids! Yes, that’s right. Anyway, this person has no idea what she/ he is selling. Sometimes it helps to know these things considering people don’t usually search for something under a completely different name. But what do I know?

  2. These are some great ideas for my daughter’s birthday! Sure, she might need therapy because of it, but I figure that’s a given no matter what I get her.

    1. True. I would give her some G.I. Joes so that you can’t be accused of being sexist. But then they might end up in tutus or married to Barbie with a slew of kids. My youngest daughter loves Star Wars – so when she was around 6 or so she put her stuffed Darth Vadar in a doll highchair to eat. Poor Vadar. The shame.

      Speaking of Joes, have you done a post lately (from your number 1 GI Joe cartoon review post fan)? I’ll check out your blog anyway. I’ve been really lazy lately, abandoning my blog and so many others. Will work on that!

      1. The last Joe review I did was in December. Although I do have the second season on DVD now, so maybe another will come soon. I have a lot to say on the subject of Serpentor and Sgt. Slaughter.

  3. I want to believe that you photoshopped these ebay pictures so I can continue to exist in the world so….um….great photoshopping?

    1. I wish I were that good . . . or that twisted. So glad to see you back! I need to check out your post and Angie’s. So good to have some more humor writers out there.

  4. I think this is further proof that we need to perhaps do something to prevent people with a lack of common sense from breeding. Unfortunately, a large number of pregnancies do result as the result of a lack of common sense.

    Maybe we should just go with my idea of colonising the moon. We’ll send the stupid people and tell them to build their own atmosphere up there… 😉

    1. Can we make sure a lot of the stupid people are Republicans?

      1. I don’t think we’ll have to worry too much about that!! Plus we can get rid of all the overly violent people in the same way. And then all we need to solve is world hunger.

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