So I don’t know if you remember, but the Things and I were working on the first annual Disney Hunger Games. My original hope was that if this took off we could then put actual Disney Channel actors into the games and have them fight it out. Oh I wouldn’t kill them, just mess up their overcaked makeup a little and see how fast they can run in those spike heels that every kid naturally wears to real high school. Anyhoo – if you’re interested in seeing how all this started, here’s a link (LINK DROP) to the beginning of this fabulous idea that any day now Disney, or probably one of their enemies, is going to pay me big money to produce for them.
Like many great endeavors, at least mine, this one has not taken off due to us being very busy what with starting school, sharing germs, randomly scanning the internet, staring into space, and whining that it is too hot to take the dolls outside. But I will say that we did at least get the first day of the games completed, and those pictures have been patiently waiting on my computer to see the light of day. This is some great stuff people, better than all that gossip about that reality show about the family with 27 kids who shockingly are not quite as religious as they said they were.
So here we go. Day one. The contestants are gathered in the arena! It might resemble a trampoline, but don’t be fooled by our small budget. It’s an arena. Whoever guesses what we used for the Cornucopia (where the contestants fight to the death for swords and backpacks and stuff) gets a gold star.
Let the games begin! We will see what their beginning strategies are – will they go for the weapons, Target back packs, gum, etc? Or will they head for the hills in terror?
This is much like the Price is Right, if on the Price is Right the contestants had to bid on the Showcase Showdown while under enemy fire. A show of hands for everyone who thinks that would make an awesome game show!
The timer goes off, and there are heroes go – many off into the forest in a panic. Ain’t nothin’ worth an arrow, not even the bag of Doritos. But a few brave souls ventured toward the cornucopia, including Mulan, Li Shang, Merida, the triplets, Beast, and probably a couple others we don’t remember. Aladdin and Flynn wisely sent their animal companions. Prince Phillip, another of the few princes who actually, at one time anyway, came equipped with a sword, had to first take Aurora out of harm’s way, because she had once again fallen asleep.
Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get all the footage due to an unfortunate computer SD card incident. No I do not have a fancy smancy smart phone that does awesome pictures just like that. If you would like to send me one, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll happily give you my address. Thank you.
There were pictures, no really, of all the awesome weapons including a bow and arrow, a mace, an axe (all from a Singing Merida playset – no seriously, all were accessories. Best girl doll ever.), a sword, a lightsaber, some armor, and various other crap we could fit in the
hamster playground er Cornucopia! Which is not at all like a horn of plenty, unless said horn was packed with weapons, which would have made for a more interesting Thanksgiving story.
There were also awesome fighting pictures, but things got a little blurry. Merida fired an arrow into John Smith’s behind, and Mulan kicked Phillip right in the family jewels. It was fantastic, I mean horrific mass hysteria. Here is one preserved shot.
Sadly, we also had our first deaths. First was Tinkerbell, knocked down hard when Beast muttered that he did not believe in fairies. And then Peter Pan tried to take revenge, but due to his current tiny size, he was accidentally stepped on by the Beast. The beast felt kind of bad about it. But then came the worst, most gruesome, death of the day.
Snow White, attracted by the shiny apple in the cornucopia, picked up a bow that was in the way. And then the Brave triplets arrived.
That’s right, we’ve gone hard core and it’s gonna be tough to swing that G rating now, but if Hunchback of Notre Dame could do it, there’s hope. There were some injuries as well. Aladdin was hurt by friendly fire when Abu turned rabid and gave him a big love bite. Will our favorite street rat survive?
Here’s where you guys come in! In the story, fans were able to give their favorite contestants stuff to help them – like water, soup, burn cream, and anti-monkey venom. If you want to help them in some way, just write it in the comments. And please remember to think on poor Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, and Snow White, who gave their lives for a pointless game that I just made up.
Any ideas for next time? Let us know in the comments below!
What happened to all the ones that fled for the hills? Will they be hunted down and killed or will they be forced to live the rest of their lives in abandoned squirrels’ nests to save their lives?
As an aside Alice, I just did a guest post over at Cordelia’s Mom http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2015/08/31/gramps-guest-post-by-paul-curran/comment-page-1/#comment-13020 If you have time I would be honored if you dropped by for a read.
Oh, no one is safe in our little game. There are rabid monkeys and all. Does no one want to send Aladdin anti-monkey venom? That silly Abu!
I will check out your post especially since you just read about me murdering dolls. 🙂
A tisket, a tasket, a head in a basket, it will not respond to the questions that you ask it. 😀
Your poetry moves me. I think the beheading was at least as realistic as the ones on Game of Thrones.
At least, probably more realistic. 🙂
Yeah I was a bit concerned about all the killing and maiming and all in GOT, but the characters that get killed usually had it coming because stupid, and then the head just goes plop and it’s so obviously not a real head I kinda have to laugh. Then again I’m kind of a sicko.
So Ariel lives to swim another day? I reckon she should now be mostly swimming around in the lake (you have a lake, right? Or some other sort of water feature in your arena, I hope) and waiting for all the other tributes to take each other out. I’ll send her in a trident, so she can pretend that she’s as cool as Finnick from the books. 😉