Facebook News with Alice: Selfies and Shark Attacks

More late breaking news you guys, brought to you again by Facebook, my only source of news save a couple of bloggers who have been letting me know about stuff like the Republican presidential debates, led by Trump, who from brief glimpses at the TV, appears to be arguing with himself.  I have not heard yet on the last one from Speaker 7 or List of X, so let us hope they decided to ignore this and are not still in drunken benders trying to forget it.

But right, back to my news.  Before I told you guys about Alyssa Milano’s magical pumped breastmilk and how she was really angry that it was not allowed on the plane with the rest the milk that was still stored in her regular boobs.  No word on whether airlines will start measuring the amount of liquid in boobs or other organs next.  I guess that all depends on whether a terrorist manages to do something really amazing with it first.  I’m sure Facebook will keep me informed.

Even the baby looks bored with this by now.

Even the baby looks bored with this by now.

Alyssa is still in the news, yammering about how people won’t accept women breastfeeding, thus giving her excuse to publish lots of pictures of herself breastfeeding.  Speaking of pictures, this next piece of news is about selfies!  No, not selfies of Kermit with his new girlfriend.  Though I also told you guys, via Facebook news, that Kermit and Miss Piggy had broken up, even though no one knew they were together, and they are both puppets.  His new girlfriend is also a pig, in case you were wondering.  And Kim Davis has already announced that she will not issue them a marriage license.

And before that we had a 100 year old man kill his wife with an ax and a senior citizen having quadruplets (they weren’t related to each other – I don’t think) so you may be wondering – what next, Alice?  Here’s a hint.

A participant takes a “selfie” during the fifth bull-run of the San Fermin Festival in Pamplona, northern Spain, on July 11, 2014. (Photo credit should read RAFA RIVAS/AFP/Getty Images)

A participant takes a “selfie” during the fifth bull-run of the San Fermin Festival in Pamplona, northern Spain, on July 11, 2014. (Photo credit should read RAFA RIVAS/AFP/Getty Images)

Yup, this piece is about a report – yes an actual report – that says that more people were killed taking selfies (like the one above taken by a guy running from BULLS who survived but is in big trouble for making this, like, more dangerous?) than were killed in shark attacks in 2015.  Several reputable internet news sources have picked up on this, including Yahoo News, but the story I chose comes from Mashable. According to Mashable, the dude who slipped off the Taj Mahal while taking a selfie (not American this time) was the 12th selfie related death this year.  In comparison, there have been only 8 deaths from sharks.

Actual chart from Mashable (no I'm serious).

Actual chart from Mashable (no I’m serious).

This made me wonder a few things.  For one, how did they come up with the comparison?  They are fairly different things.  A selfie is a self-absorbed way for a person to take a picture, whereas sharks are sea animals with big, sharp teeth who rarely ever take photographs (they are reportedly shy).  Would you compare these two any other way?  For instance: Tourists like to take selfies.  Sharks like to eat tourists.  How many selfies can a tourist on a beach five miles from the ocean take before a shark traveling 60 miles per hour can eat them? Show your work.

I wouldn’t be surprised if one of those shark related deaths came from someone trying to take a selfie while riding a shark.  Or jumping over one on water skis.

Anyone (or their *cough* friend) ever taken a selfie while doing something stupid?  Anyone willing to admit it? Let me know in the comments below!


19 responses

  1. I have done something stupid while taking a selfie, because taking a selfie may already count as doing something stupid.

    1. Good point. I don’t even like other people to take my picture. I’m not taking my own.

  2. I actually have never taken a selfie. I often wonder what the inventors of photography would think if they could see what has become of their invention – now used by individuals to take their own pictures.

    1. I’m thinking one giant facepalm.

  3. The new iOS 9 categorizes your photos in an album called “Selfies.” When people see how many they’ve taken, they die of shame. Science.

    1. I only wish they’d die of shame. There ought to be a cost every time someone posts a selfie on Facebook. Think how much money could be raised from teens alone!

  4. I took a selfie of my grey hair, does that count?
    Dun dun….dun dun dun dun….uh oh, gotta go, a shark is at my front door.

    1. Nah, you also have to fit the self-absorbed moron code for it to be a TRUE selfie. The code being you take multiple ones per day and post them on every single social media site with different captions.

  5. I’m too scared of heights to take a selfie where I’d have to lean over a ledge or something, so at least I have that in my favor. And I’m pretty sure if a bull was running behind me, my phone would be the last thought on my mind.

    So bizarre what people will do. Makes me wonder what aliens would think of the human race if they could see us.

    1. The aliens would take one selfie in front of planet Earth, then head home.

  6. I’m not into taking selfies. BUT I have seen a truckload of people take them just about anywhere. I saw one girl take one while sitting in a TGI Fridays waiting for her food. I can only imagine what her caption must have been….

    1. I’m guessing it was for her resume.

  7. I have taken the occasional selfie. The dumbest was trying to get all the Sisters in on it with the new Bishop of Whitby last year. It didn’t really work – they don’t understand the concept, so didn’t crowd around enough to get in. Sometimes it’s simply dangerous enough to be wearing a habit, never mind taking a photo while in it…

    1. I find the idea of a group Sister selfie to be totally acceptable! Unless you’re in an unsafe area for that. Like on a shark or a highly Protestant suburb.

      1. We were outside York Minster, so fairly safe. I often wonder how many times I get photographed by others just because I’m in habit (and under 60).

        1. People are always surprised to see librarians under 60. They were really surprised when I was like 25. Now I am getting older and I fear fitting into the demographic more and more. I might have to find another job before the cobwebs grow.

  8. I think there should be a special Darwin Award category for Selfie-related Death.

    1. I think you’re on to something there.

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