Trolls, guns, and magical birds: more politics with Alice!

I hope you all had a great Easter weekend.  I didn’t.  I had stomach ISSUES and they weren’t fun and worst of all they kept me from Facebook for an entire day.  Do you realize what I could have missed with no Facebook News for a whole day?  Everything!  Maybe Donald said something racist or stupid.  Maybe the Enquirer said Ted Cruz was having multiple affairs (luckily I saw THAT one on the newsstand).  Or maybe someone gave Bernie Sanders the bird.

Birds.  Not just for Cinderella anymore.

Birds. Not just for Cinderella anymore.

Luckily for me, I also have my Things – er daughters, and they are very happy to pass on political news of great importance.  Thing One showed me a site called that I had never heard of until today.  If you go to the site, you are directed immediately to the Wikipedia page of Donald Trump.  So did someone buy the domain just to troll Donald? Nah, has been trolling since 1995 in what the Washington Times called “quiet, pointless obscurity”, its targets having been Al Gore, Obama, and naturally Kanye West (please say he doesn’t run for office).  Donald is just the latest, but like everything Donald, his has gotten the most attention.  I’m shocked Donald hasn’t tried to sue yet (that we know of that is).

Another exciting bit of news (from Time Magazine who also reported on Donald being the latest victim – way to report Time!) is this video of teen “mean girls” reading the tweets of Donald Trump.  It’s absolutely hilarious until you realize that everything those girls say was actually said first by a 70-year-old man who wants to be President.  Then it’s still funny, but a little sad.  I wonder if he will continue with the highly effective communication tool if elected President.  Pfft, of course he will.

As far as Facebook News, I am with Ted Cruz who says reports of his multiple affairs are ridiculous.  Getting the one woman to marry him had to be an act of voodoo witchcraft – I can’t imagine anything being powerful enough to get him women on the side.  Imagine waking up to that face.  Oh crap – imagine waking up to that face even on the T.V.  I feel a little ill.

Cause really, who would you rather see on your televisions each day?

Kindly if slightly batty old grandpa Bernie Sanders?

Wait, wrong one.  Good enough.

Wait, wrong one. Good enough.

Retired librarian who tries to look cool Hillary Clinton (as a librarian I can vouch for this statement – it’s a tough job).

I still can't figure out my phone - what is this texting?

I still can’t figure out my phone – what is this texting?

Oompa Loompa with Tourette’s Donald Trump?

I like steaks!

I like steaks!

Or . . . or Droopy Doo Doo dog, Ted “Creeper” Cruz?

My voice is all high pitched and shrill too!

My voice is all high pitched and shrill too!

I don’t know about you, but out of this admittedly less than stellar list, I choose the Bern.  I’m not the only one.  Wildlife likes him too, as evidenced by the video in which a cute birdie landed on his podium during a speech.  You might think this an incredible coincidence (and something supporters at the rally got a little too excited about – even before the bird got close to Bernie) but it’s not.  Bernie commands wildlife, guys.  It’s the Democratic Socialist Disney Princess effect.  Remember that Hitchcock movie “The Birds”?  I’d be careful, Hillary and Republicans!  Bernie could unleash his hoard at any time.  Anyway, the bird was cute enough to make it into a Bernie endorsement video.  Cut from video: Duet of “I’m Wishing” from Snow White whistled by Bernie and the bird.

Aw.  Poor little sparrow-whatever-that-bird-is had no idea he was a dove and is even more confused.  Lucky for the bird, he landed near a Democrat.  I can just imagine a Republican, like, I dunno, Donald, taking a shot at him.  I could also see one of his supporters shouting “Sparrow season!” – if said supporter weren’t busy punching a Trump protester.  Speaking of violence, many Republicans are hoping to allow “open carry” guns at the Republican National Convention this year.  This is one time I am not totally against this idea.  Can you just imagine?  It’d be like the O.K. Corral, with bullets zinging across the room as people yell “Yippie-ti-yi-die!” while galloping around in their suits and ties.  Seriously, I wouldn’t want anyone hurt, but it would test whether Republicans are as crazy about guns if said guns are shot near them in an enclosed space by other Republicans.

The Next Republican Convention

The Next Republican Convention

So much excitement to come!  Try to survive.  And if you can’t find a gun, be nice to birds.

Alice out

17 responses

  1. Ha! Awesome post with youtube Alice. I hadn’t seen either before. I’ll have to show them around. Thank you.

    1. Yes, a big thank you to the Things! I about died laughing at the Mean Girls thing and the And, man, Bernie couldn’t have planned something better than that little bird. The bird was like, what’s this dude with the bird nest on top shouting about – ah okay, look I am famous!

      1. Ha! I was interviewing a potential employee outside one day and a Monarch butterfly landed on my arm. It stayed there for the whole 1/2 hour interview. I pretended it was normal and the guy kept staring at it. We hired him (the driver that is, not the butterfly).

  2. Wow, that video with the mean girls is pretty powerful. And I loved Bernie and the bird. I watched that the other night with my son. So cute.

    As for toting guns to the Republican convention? Ugh, I think I’ll stay away from Cleveland that night. It’s only a short drive away for me.

    1. I love the bird video too. I did think Thing One was funny when she was like – why were they so excited about the bird even before it landed on the podium? Lol. I think it’s because any form of animal life daring to get close to a candidate these days is a miracle.

      I would keep my distance too. Yikes. Just a Trump rally is enough to start fights.

      1. It’s like the bird knew who was the purest of the candidates.

  3. I read through a bunch of Trump’s tweets last night, it was like watching a train wreck. The man is fond of his exclamations.

    1. I had seen a few of the tweets, but not all. It is unreal how much he sounds like a sixteen-year-old mean girl. People should pay attention to that. But they cheer when he talks about firing into a crowd so, yeah, we’re kinda screwed.

      Train wreck describes this entire campaign.

  4. I have say that between the two Sanderses featured in your post, that bird definitely picked the right one to land in front of.

    1. For sure! I’m sure that’s what Trump and Cruz supporters would think too – look, dinner!

  5. That bird was priceless. The mean girls had me laughing so loud the neighbors had to have heard. Whew.

    1. I know! That mean girls was too perfect – he does sound like a mean teen girl. And the bird – could Bernie have ever planned that better? Haha.

  6. If Sanders promised to use all our tax money on KFC, I think he’d get a lot of support.

    1. I hear he promises a chicken in every bucket.

  7. I think the whole “developed” world is going rapidly bat-poop crazy.

    We’re screwed, aren’t we?

  8. To be fair, I don’t think Trump would shoot a dove. he’d be far more likely to go on one of those exotic African safaris where they arrange for you to shoot something endangered. You know, like Ted Cruz would if he was rich, but since he’s not THAT rich he probably settles for hunting exotic animals on a wildlife ranch in Texas.

    1. I could see the two of them going out hunting and shooting each other, a la Dick Cheney.

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