Tips for Clutter!

Clutter is big right now.  Or more specifically, decluttering which is not, according to WordPress,  a real word.  This should be a clue right there.  I have tried to get rid of clutter, to no avail.  (Once I tried for like 15 minutes). It seems like everyone has some tips on removing clutter, but has anyone come up with tips on how to use clutter?  I don’t know, I haven’t researched, but I’m going to guess “No.”  Well now they, er, I have!

A picture of my house.

A picture of my house.

Tips for Using Clutter

  1. Piled laundry (dirty or clean) makes a great cushion for your couch.  If you put it in your car, it can be used as a booster seat.
  2. Trash can be used as art.  Call it “Shabby Chic”.
  3. Time spent searching for lost items counts as exercise.
  4. By not washing your dishes or cleaning your refrigerator, you can grow your own medicine.
  5. Clutter can be used as a blockade in case of home invasion.  Seriously, police told us at the library that our clutter could help block an active shooter.  Yay us!
  6. Books on decluttering make great side tables.
  7. “What’s that smell?” is a fun and entertaining game for the whole family.
  8. By gathering up loads of random stuff, you can make your own ball pit for the kids.
  9. Piling things on top of your exercise machine keeps you from feeling guilty for not using it by blinding you to its presence.
  10. You life is full of surprises.  What’s in that cabinet?  Is it alive?  Who knows!

So there you go!  Lots of reasons not to remove clutter.  If you still insist on getting rid of it, I have one great tip.  Wait for the holiday season and throw all your clutter into those huge Christmas bags meant for bicycles and such.  Then put a sign in front of your house saying “Rob Me.”

Anyone else have creative ideas for clutter?

~ Alice

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14 responses

  1. These are some great ideas! I see you were quite the rebel and used the word declutter on your post. I really did laugh out loud at #5. I have plenty of clutter but can’t think of any additional users for it. Dang.

    1. My favorite was “What’s that smell?” LOL

    2. When the police mentioned that at the library we were all “Yeah, exactly why we have this much crap. Totally.” We are safe and protected in our junk.

  2. “What’s that smell?” is a fun and entertaining game for the whole family.”
    Okay, I totally lost it when I read that. We did that just the other day, turns out it was Maya’s silent but deadly fart. I was hoping for rotting chicken.

    1. This was especially fun when the kids were little and juice cups rolled under the couch and the house smelled like a kegger party. Or worse, when formula or milk cups went missing . . .

      1. Oh yeah, I remember those days. LOL

  3. Will be laughing about this all day.

    1. And it’s all true! Well, the kids made their own ball pit. Thanks, Jaded.

  4. I particularly like clutter being used to block an active shooter.

    Clutter is cheaper than buying kids expensive playhouses and slides and stuff, too.

    1. So true! We actually went to this farm “amusement park?” thing around Halloween. They had a dirt hill kids could climb. My husband and I were like uh we didn’t have to pay to climb dirt back in our day.

      1. lmao! Next thing you know, they’ll have a mud puddle zone, $1 per splash.

  5. Clutter is also insulation so you can save money on heating in the winter and is also a cheap fuel source should you wish to tell stories by the fireside.

  6. Wow! You really decluttered and cleaned up your house!
    Seriously, I get pangs of wanting to just get rid of EVERYTHING and start over. Clean slate. Nothing. Like, next time we move, don’t take any of the boxes.

    I plan on tossing any box not opened from our move last January if it’s still there when the lease is up. On general principle: if we didn’t need it for a year, why do we have it???

    I predict that the next day, I’ll have to go shopping for at least 5 things I got rid of.

  7. I sometimes think I should gather all my yarn and store it in the window as insulation. Then of course I’d have to buy more of the stuff because taking any out of the window would cause it all to fall out and also be a chink in said insulation.

    Or maybe I should just keep knitting…

    Anyway, books and yarn aren’t clutter. It’s a library and works in progress. 😀

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