Virtual Killers Anonymous Help Desk

I promised earlier to tell you about some of the fun new comments I got on very old posts.  People continue to comment on my post from 2013 about killing virtual people.  This might be because it comes up anytime someone looks for the search terms “How do I kill my virtual people?”.  It pops up on the first page, last I checked.  Thanks, Google, though really, has no one else thought of writing about this?  Just me, huh?  Ah, well, I am certainly not the first one to think of doing it, judging by the response I have had.  I’ll give you a link to it on the off chance you weren’t here in 2013.

There were actually comments on a couple of other posts too, but as I was looking over “Hi, my name is Alice and I kill tiny virtual people“, I realized there were several comments I hadn’t answered both against and – sometimes scarily – in support of my treatment of pretend people.  So I gathered them all up here in my heart and then smacked them onto this here post.

First are the ones who are very upset with me over the post.  I may have reported these guys before, but I figure it I can’t remember it, neither can you.

I hope this person liked my response.

I hope this person liked my response.

What I love most about this irate comment, besides the fact that it came two years later, is how upset this person is that I gave incorrect information on my blog.  I’m really not an educational blog, unless you ask my spambots, who highly recommend me to other spambots.  And I’m sorry, Lisa who happens to have no blog like most of these comments, if they didn’t want me to use the red punishment glove, they really shouldn’t have given it to me, should they?  Case closed.

I like being mean.

I like being mean.

Come on, Alaska, there’s no need to get touchy just because you aren’t actually a real state.  I play the game because it lets me slap people over and over, which is usually frowned upon outside of the game.  And there are just some people who need it.  Also, you should consider forgiveness, because my little pretend man forgave me as soon as I bought him some bread.  And I’d locked him in the nuclear room for a week.

I'd better get to confession. The priest will find this one interesting.

I’d better get to confession. The priest will find this one interesting.

Then there are the ones who support me . . . maybe just a little too much.

Um. Sure?

Um. Sure?

Happy to be helpful and all.  Just one of my many acts of public service there.



I’m not sure how this person was burning the virtual woman. I didn’t realize this was an option in this game.  The Sims, sure, but this one?   Also this is not the place to find out if something is normal, Dee.  Sorry.



You don’t have to answer comments if your readers do it for you.  But this one goes on for a while even after this screen shot.  I sort of . . . left it alone.

Finally, my favorite.



First off, I love how this literally turned into a Crazy Computer Gamers Anonymous group.  Second, what is the person responding meaning?  If they go peacefully?  Can you arrest the virtual people now, cause I didn’t realize you could.  That adds a new layer of fun.  Or maybe K.A.R meant that the people kept dying – peacefully? – on their own before she / he could kill them?  I just don’t know, but it continues to perplex me.

That’s all I have for now.  Come back later and I’ll show you how I insulted Jesus and screwed up the plot of Sophia the First.  Also Trump voodoo dolls.


19 responses

  1. You know what really bothers me the most about these comments? Their grammar and punctuation. It really gives me a hankering to kill virtual people.

    1. Lol, I know! What did grammar do to them? I’m not that bad, and I purposely screw up grammar. Maybe that’s why they don’t have their own blogs – or other identities?

      1. They need their fingers broken with the red glove.

        1. Whap! I mean really, why else is it there? Bwahaha.

          1. Bwahaha indeed.
            Seriously, did these people graduate from high school? Like, hot damn.

          2. Maybe it was virtual school.

          3. There is no excuse!!! Come on people, repeat after me…commas are our friends. K?

  2. It’s great to see that Boppo’s fan club is growing larger, even though he hasn’t died for us in years. As strange as this sounds, I am envious of the bloggers who can attract creepy commenters and trolls. The only strangers who visit my site are people looking to steal images from me that I originally stole from Google…

    1. I have found some of my images on Google Images! I think one was of Sleeping Beauty having bad breath. #soproud Oh, yeah, and speaking of Boppo – he got obliterated when my last computer broke down but I really do need to revive him. For truly these are clown burning times.

  3. Guess who just binge-read your Boppo series again!

    Someone by the screen name of Seanbaby actually did write about torturing Sims, though he used the third game to do it. (just don’t click the links surrounding the article if you don’t want to spend all eternity there)

    1. Hi, Popful Frost! I have read Seanbaby’s article! He’s one of my favorites on Cracked. And that article where he makes the poor hungry guy afraid of water swim to get to the refrigerator – priceless!

      And I often spend a lot of time there clicking links, lol.

  4. I think if a comment from someone who can’t use the correct “you’re” is complaining about what you do in your free time, you can pretty much tell them to naff off!!

    Although, trolls are gonna troll, and abuse the poor defenseless English Language while they’re at it!

    1. They’re just MEAN, Faith, mean mean. lol. “Naff off.” I must remember that one for when I want to insult someone in a sophisticated British manner!

  5. Do you think that some of those critics or supporters may be the game characters themselves?

  6. It sounds like Lisa is getting a bit confused between fantasy and reality. She wants credit for being nurturing and caring, as opposed to an evil bitch like you, but as I understand it, she’s playing some game, not volunteering down at the orphanage, right?

    I wrote a post a couple years ago that was a fictional obituary for a fictional movie character and it has gotten by far and away the most hits of any post I’ve ever written, even the Freshly Pressed. I get at least a couple of hits every day, then the occasional mini-spike like 300 hits one day last month. I still can’t figure out who drives traffic to it, but they never comment. It’s one of life’s big mysteries.

    1. Hi, Peg! Yes, poor Lisa. I’m sure her little pretend family is in great shape. Someone might want to check on any living family members, though.

      I would love to see the fictional obituary. And I love that it gets more than Freshly Pressed. I’ve gotten more hits on both the virtual post and the post about the children’s TV show Dragon Tales than my FP. That kid show was especially disturbing, all the keywords back when Google let us see them. Then by accident I discovered that my post making fun of the show was on a Pinterest board that had regular reviews for children’s television. The person who stuck it apparently hadn’t read it. Ohhh, it makes sense now.

  7. You get the most interesting comments of any blog I follow 😀

    1. We do live in interesting times, lol.

  8. I just commented on your original post about killing virtual people, but realised that it is old and wasn’t sure if you would check the comments as often. I need help killing my little virtual man. He is an awful dissapointment to his family and is an alcoholic (he hits the cocktail bar a lot thanks to my urging). I’ve given him blue shots and every other type of medicine. He is completely exhausted and depressed, but when I leave the game he eats and sleeps and gets better. Why won’t he die?! Any suggestions?

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