Guess what? I was dropping my kids off at school this morning and heard on the radio that today is a holiday! One you have all surely been looking forward to to with bated breath. I know I have been, especially after I heard it existed just this morning. If you read the title of this post, then you know it’s “National Boss’s Day!”
I don’t hear cheering, guys! Okay, look, I no longer have a boss (look at me, I’m self-employed!) but for all of you who do have bosses, I figured I’d help you out with this one. “National Boss’s Day” was created by a sad little boss, probably Donald Trump, who wanted people to honor him for all the work he makes you do! Since no one was volunteering in spite of the constant emails of encouragement, the next best thing was to make it a national holiday. It’s a great one too, because you the employee get no time off or appreciation, which is exactly what most bosses want out of a holiday!
So what do you do on “National Boss’s Day?” The radio D.J.s were helpful, especially since their boss could hear them talking right that moment. They suggested that you could, well, at least thank the boss for signing the check. Now if that is not enthusiasm, I don’t know what is. If you really wanted to suck up, you could buy them a mug that says “Best Boss Ever” on the front, and on the back says “No really, this is not just because I want a raise I swear”. They will be sure to love it!
So while your boss considers whether she should hand out the pink slips on this special day, I thought we’d think a bit on all these national holidays. I’ve been hearing a lot of these crop up lately. Last time I believe it was “National Coffee Day”. That one wasn’t bad, because some places gave free coffee. I am one of the few who doesn’t like coffee, though, so I’d have preferred something like “National Health Destroying Drink of Your Choice Day” just to be more inclusive.
What other national holidays are there that you don’t know about? Lucky you, I did some research. I bet you thought October only had Halloween, the great tradition of terrifying strangers into giving you candy, but no, there’s so much more. Some days have more than one holiday, like October 2nd when you can either appreciate custodial workers or name your car. There is “Mad Hatter Day” on the 6th, which happens to fall right after “World Teacher’s Day” on the 5th. I don’t think this is coincidental. “American Touch Tag Day” is on the 8th, though it is celebrated most days of the year.
Halloween is not the only controversial day of the month – now we have Columbus Day too. Some cities and states have decided to adopt Indigenous Peoples Day in favor of Columbus Day in hopes of making up for years of genocide! If neither of these work, you can always celebrate “Moldy Cheese Day”, also on the 2nd Monday of October. If all these random, bizarre days – often different depending on the website you visit – annoy you, you can wait for “Moment of Frustration Day” on the 12th.
My only problem with these holidays is that they do not come with days off from work or school, which we can all agree is the true meaning of holiday. It will all be worth it, though, if Starbucks starts pumping out Happy Holidays cups for these days too, so that we can have Republicans complaining all year long.