The Good Old Days

I look back over old posts and I remember.  I remember when this blog was, well, not hugely popular, but popular enough.  I had readers who commented with me, with each other, and made my posts far funnier with their input.  When I read old posts, sometimes I surprise myself and laugh.  I guess I was funnier then, or maybe I just had better ideas, or maybe, I know, maybe I just wrote more.  You take a few months or a year or two here and there off and it’s like people just don’t wait around or something.

alicecurtain1.jpg

Anybody here?

 

Though I think it was more than that.  At some point, maybe I outstayed my welcome.  I am frankly not sure what to do with myself anymore.  I’m not hugely depressed anymore.  I’m just – here.  I haven’t worked outside the home in nearly two years.  This blog kept me going through years of work that was so difficult to maintain along with anything else.  My readers, my blog friends, kept me going.  

This blog got noticed because I covered some of the worst books of all time, 50 Shades of Grey.  But from there, other stories from my life came, “funny stories of angst”, as my counselor said.  Sad Pony and Squirrel, stupid TLC coverage, Boppo the clown, a sparkle pony, some creature with a lightbulb for a butt, stories told with Disney princess dolls in the snow, making fun of Dragon Tales and earning the ire of its crazed fans, the murder of virtual people, and a little bit of politics.  I was Alice, someone wittier and I don’t know, hipper than the real me.  I’m not sure if anyone even uses “hip” anymore.  Whatever.

sad pony

I’m still here.  Yay.

I miss the old days though.  Some bloggers I knew way back then are still out there, and they still come by here, and I am thankful for that.  One or two decided they hated me.  Others, I’m not sure.  Maybe they got writer’s block and just stopped.  Maybe they just got lives and drifted away.  I’m not sure, but they aren’t here.  I know people still read, or bots at least.  Something.  I know I don’t write enough, or often enough, but at times I wonder if that would even matter.

I wonder if I matter.

My girls, my Things, who have been such a part of this blog are growing up so fast.  My eldest is starting college, and my youngest, my Thing Two, is a sophomore in high school.  They were so little when I started.  Before I know it, they will be ready to fly away.  That is as it should be, and I hope I have prepared them.  But I’m not sure I will be prepared to be left in the nest.  Sure, I have my husband, Mr. Alice, but it’s not the same.  They are my purpose.  I am a mother.  I’m not sure what else I am.

I want to be Alice.  But I don’t think Wonderland will ever be what it was again.  And I don’t know where else to go.

22 responses

  1. I’ve lurked as a reader on this blog for a long time, now, and I know it might not mean much coming from me, but I hope whatever you choose to do goes well. Your life can still mean something, no matter what you may think. Everyone goes through this kind of doubt, sooner or later.

    You were an influence on how I write, and on the decision to start my own blog. So, I just wanna say, thank you.

    1. Thank you! That means a great deal to me. Do you still have a blog?

      1. I do, actually! It’s pretty much me writing snarky in-character entries about everything from whatever weird old video game crosses my mind, to short stories, to me taking the piss out of the D&D Monstrous Manual (which is my current series).

        And yes, the tacky Web 1.0 is absolutely intentional. https://paphvulslair.blogspot.com/

  2. I will always want to read what you write.

    1. I know. You’re the best. 🙂

  3. Me and Sparklepony are still here… and despite the fact that she still sheds glitter every time I move her for one of my plays, she’s still very well covered in sparkle. I miss the old days as well… though I still blog regularly, it’s a lot different than what I was doing in my heyday. But after 19 years on the internet, I’ve come to accept that whole “time marches on” thing…

    1. How is Sparklepony? Last I heard she was at the glue factory, and I was wondering if she’d been revived comic book style yet or not. Rainbow Donkey and her knit babies need her. I’ve missed some episodes.

      I would love to see how someone who doesn’t know us would read this comment.

      1. Of course she’s visiting the glue factory: how else do you expect all that glitter to stick? :V

        1. Hey, just letting you know that I commented on one of your posts. I like it. Keep it up!

          1. Thanks! ^,=,^ I saw it, and responded.

  4. I’m always happy to see a post from you:-) One of the hardest things that ever happened to me was when my son went off to university, so I know how you’re feeling about the upcoming empty nest. At least he comes home regularly to visit–in fact, today!

    1. My daughter is going to our local university and is going to live at home for a while. So I don’t have to send her away – we’re both happy about that. Well, for now. I’m sure I can get more obnoxious. 😀

  5. I haven’t been on WP much to read other blogs, but I always stop by yours when I see a new post. 🙂

    1. Aw, thanks. That means a lot.

  6. I read all your blog posts. I find them quite entertaining. I just don’t respond often as I tend to annoy you when i do. 🙂

    1. Haha, well thanks for reading anyway. If it helps, I am easily annoyed.

  7. Unlike Carroll’s Wonderland, this one is wholly a creation of Alice, so if you change, the Wonderland obviously has to change, too. But I’m sure it will remain entertaining. 🙂

    1. Thanks, X. I’m sure we’ll both have fodder with the upcoming election. Yayyy.

  8. This is so on point! I feel you. Going through the same thing

    1. Fun, isn’t it? I’ve got ideas though, so many. Luckily, like TLC, few people expect quality so I think I’m good!

      1. Lol. Thanks for your comments.

  9. I’ve just gone through the “social” section of my email inbox and discovered I had unread blog post notifications going back 12 months. Life has been rather busy. So I deleted lots of them but kept the important ones (which is why you’ve just had all my comments come through today). I also keep meaning to DM you and catch up, but again, I’m a bit busy with uni and too good at procrastination. I’m even procrastinating now, because I should be typing up quotes and references to use in a theology assignment that I’m supposed to be writing!

Leave a Reply to The egg man Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: