What’s wrong?

Now that my depression has lifted for however long, I have lots of plans.  I have more energy to do the plans.  I have resolutions, like not drinking so much cola, and losing weight (because it’s healthy, not to look like I’m 20 – as Mamie said to Scarlett O’hara – “You done had a baby.  You ain’t never wearing that again.” Or something to that effect; I’m not looking it up.)  I also want to write more about esketamine nasal treatments, the history, and a personal account of what it’s like.  Well, kind of – it’s a little hard to describe.  But I couldn’t find much when I looked, so it’s better than nothing.  I also wanted to clean, clean, clean cause I have a lot of that to do. So much. And Marie Kondo won’t return my calls so it’s up to me.

marie kondo ritual

Quit meditating and get to my house.

But then this morning I couldn’t get myself to move.  It was like, I’m awake, I got motivation, but my body isn’t moving. That’s odd.  Then I had this genius idea of getting those tiny coke cans that are actually 8 oz (I can’t believe that’s 8 oz cause I have gotten used to 32 oz and 8 oz is like a drink from the water fountain) and there was this sale, but you had to buy four six packs. I was okay with this because I had plans to label them so that my husband would not whine that he didn’t get some, and that I could know which ones were mine and could like wean myself off of them.  I think that was the idea.  So the Things and I went to the grocery store and we got this but then we also got a few other things like pizza for tonight (it’s low calorie pizza no not really shut up) and then we checked out but I didn’t get the special exactly cause it was 3 for one and not 4 for one.  I think.  Whatever.

coke fight

This is from an old post.  It has cokes in it.

So then we went to McDonald’s for fountain drinks because I don’t have much ice at home (MY first world problem) and the others weren’t cold and I haven’t started my resolution yet why are you looking at me???  Then I paid and I started to drive away without picking up my drinks until the Things pointed it out, so I went back through the drive-through but they were nice and stuff and didn’t point out my stupid.  Thanks, McD’s.  Anyway at some point during this I was like, huh, my chest really hurts. I mean sure I had been coughing up great gobs of green goo, but that’s not unusual (sorry for the description there), so it hadn’t occurred to me that I could be sick.  Just garden variety sick – or at least my garden variety.  Wow.

mucinex

Yay, they’re back!

I’m not sure how to explain how odd it is to be relieved that you are sick.  But it meant I wasn’t sad again, and that I could later lay down and that was fine.  But I wanted peeps to know I wasn’t disappearing because I was sad again.  I’m okay.  It’s just mucus.  Be back soon.  

~Alice

9 responses

  1. Sometimes, just having something you can actually point to and say “THAT’S what’s wrong” is in itself a blessing. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

    1. It really is! Thank you.

  2. I hope it’s not pneumonia.

    1. It’s not. It’s not like my old pneumonia posts at all!

  3. I love the tiny cans–just the right size for a pick-me-up but without the guilt! Hope you feel better soon!

    1. It is amazing to see what 8 oz is again, but it’s not too bad an amount. With the 32 oz fountain drinks, I never finished and they got watered down. And sat around till there was like this small army. I thought about putting little faces on them once. Now they don’t pile up. 🙂 And thanks, getting there.

  4. Mary Kondo isn’t returning my phone calls either. I guess she decided that phone calls from strangers don’t bring her joy.

    1. If you get sparks of joy from your telephone, you might want to get it checked out.

      1. It’s probably a Samsung.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: