So we’re all in agreement that this year has sucked and most of us are depressed. So I tried to think of things that make me happy, or that made my readers happy, and then I remembered! Virtual people! Specifically torturing virtual computer people in order to vent out frustrations with the real world. Years ago I wrote posts about Virtual Families, virtual farm animals, and of course, the Sims series, where all your dreams of virtual life (and death) can come true. These remain some of my most popular posts to this day, so I know I’m not the only sicko.
My husband once saw that I was down and said, “Hey, Alice, why don’t you go burn a Sim or two?” He knows me so well. So I decided to create a pretend person that my readers wouldn’t mind me torturing, like, I dunno, a clown. Think about it – how many movies come to mind where the clown is a good guy? That’s what I thought. Anyway, out of this Boppo Sadface, the evil clown and his trusty poodle companion Wee Wee, were born. In posts titled “How to Skin a Sim”, I found various ways to kill Boppo including drowning, electrocution, starvation, and my personal favorite, fire.
But that was then and this is now, and I figured Boppo would be more fun as the protagonist. About a year ago, Thing One and I started trying to revive Boppo. The original Boppo was created on the Sims 2, and now we have the Sims 4 because the company EA is constantly updating content and their pocketbooks. So we tried various iterations of Boppo, hoping for one to stick. First, after the release of the expansion pack “Get To Work”, we were able to build a realistic jail cell for Sims. No more boring four stone walls full of torture contraptions for us to trap our Sims in! This was exciting news for us. Also we could make Boppo a bad clown cop.
Like I said, this was a year ago when we started, and real people weren’t trapped in their real houses then, and there weren’t protests against actual police brutality. To be fair, Boppo doesn’t care what race, gender, orientation, or species someone is, or even if they have a pulse, he hates them all equally. Still, we decided Boppo should switch jobs. There are only two other jobs you can go along with your Sim to, and those are doctor and scientist. While one day I’d love to see Boppo pull strange stuff out of Sims and then try to stuff those things back in, since a lot of people are spending too much time at the doctor’s already, we figured a clown scientist would be safest. They only have freeze guns. Boppo still has the prison cell, though, cause even though he’s an evil, insane clown, he knows the importance of stay-at-home orders and social distancing.
I bet you can’t wait to find out what happens in the telenovela that is the life and times of Boppo the clown! Don’t worry, we’ve got a story for you, filled with romance, kidnapping, clowns, aliens, insanity, clown hybrids, mermaids, locked up roommates, science experiments gone wrong, and of course, fire and other ways to hit the expiration date.
Hold on to your clown pants, here comes Boppo. You’re welcome.