Blue’s Clues Commentary: Sponsored by Viewers Like You

Back In Blue Alright!

Back in Blue, Alright!

This post is dedicated to Marie, and viewers like her. Thank you!

I haven’t been the most prolific blogger lately, but I recently got a comment on the post “Condiment Sex Ed: Revisiting Blue’s Clues” in which Neil Degrasse Tyson, my readers, and I speculated about sex with condiments. Not people having sex with condiments, but condiments having sex with each other, just to clear that up. I’m not that foul-minded. Anyhoo, famous Astrophysicist Neil asked a Blue’s Clue’s creator how Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper had a baby that talked. That was him, not me, but of course I thought about it too because I think about everything.

This post was a sequel to a post I made as part of a series of reviews of children’s television shows that annoyed me as parent watching with my child. I also feel the need to point out that this post was written in 2014, and that I was not then nor am I now affiliated with any children’s T.V. stations, though I think I could come up with plenty of great preschool show ideas considering a show about talking fingers was successful. “Condiment Sex Ed” was a quite popular post, with amazing thought-provoking ideas in the comments. People still read it today. Like Marie. Marie is not the first person to comment negatively on one on my posts. In fact, I earlier detailed the bizarre number of people who were incredibly upset about my “Dragon Tales” review. I am leaving links for viewers like you (and Marie) to check out if you want to, and not just because I like link dropping.

On to Marie’s Concerned Comment:

It’s a show made for little kids. The aim is not to entertain adults. So I think it’s Wrong for Adults to find details and start turning it into adult material. I guarantee these toddlers aren’t trying to think about how salt and pepper make babies. Or Steve, Joe, and now Josh using slippery soap to wash themselves.

This is a great show that not only entertains little ones, but also educates.

– Marie

Steve and Joe professing their innocence.

There are so many clues to decipher in this comment that I can hardly put my paw print on it. I will, though, because I Learned So Much. Such as:

  • It is Wrong for Adults to make fun of children’s programming no matter how fun it is.
  • Toddlers do not think about how salt and pepper make babies
  • Steve and Joe have yet another brother (I guess?) who is stuck in the Blue house because the others somehow escaped. They better put “Mr. Lock” and “Mrs. Security System” on the job pronto.
  • The soap is called “Slippery Soap”. I repeat “Slippery Soap”, guys.
  • The show is entertaining and educating.

These new facts make me curious, and since this is a show about answering questions, I have several. First, how did Marie find my post? Just googling “Blue’s Clues” or “Blue’s Clues review” gives me nothing. Typing the entire title “Condiment Sex Ed: Revisiting Blue’s Clues” does bring up my name, first thing! I’m proud. I would advise you not to look up “condiment sex ed.” on its own. I wish I hadn’t. My point here, is that the only way I could think of Marie finding my post was either by researching condiments and sex ed. (shame on you, Marie) or by stumbling upon it on a Pinterest board or something, which was how many “concerned citizens” found my Dragon Tales’ post. It’s always good to read something before referencing it. At least read the title. It’s in the title.

“Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.”

Okay, here’s another question. How does she know what toddlers think about salt and pepper and baby making? I raised two toddlers, and I can safely vouch that toddlers have a lot of bizarre ideas. Sesame Street taught my brother that he “could never go down the drain” and then he was afraid of drains. Yay! If toddlers are afraid of drains sucking them down, why wouldn’t they be concerned about living soap? Or wonder about how salt and pepper got paprika? I mention in my post that a friend of Thing Two’s (my youngest child’s name – I am a Good Parent) buried a salt shaker after exposure to Blue’s Clues. So yay for education! A child thought a salt shaker had to be buried! The more you know!

This must be our new guy. Blink twice if you need help, Josh.

I’m not knocking children’s T.V. I was thrilled to have it for my children, especially those shows on P.B.S. that were free. I knew that they might learn something (hopefully not that salt is alive) and that if nothing else, it was safe. New parents do get exposed to this repetitive stuff just like toddlers, at a time when they are already in a repetitive Ground Hog Day of juice delivery and potty-training done often in isolation. They cope however they can. Considering the times we live in now, Marie, maybe you should relax and not get so uptight over someone’s thought on a children’s show. Maybe find a little humor. Or just don’t read my blog.

It’s far too educating and entertaining.

~ Alice

10 responses

  1. You are so polite. She can sit and spin.

    1. I’m picturing the dragons sitting and spinning right now. 😀

  2. It’s so funny to me, because while you’re mocking these shows, it never really comes across as serious criticism. When you have this stuff playing in the background and hear it all repeatedly on the regular, you start developing either a form of Stockholm Syndrome or an adversarial relationship with the show in question. You’re just having fun here, and this person’s taking offense to that for… some reason. *shrug*

    On a bit of a Dragon Tales tangent, I’d be lying if I said growing up with that show wasn’t part of the reason Paphvul, my blog, and the world I’ve written around both exist. What can I say, Ord imprinted a thing for tubby dragons on my young, impressionable, had-no-idea-he-was-gonna-turn-out-so-profusely-queer-yet self. XD

    Whether “it gave a lot of people a dragon fetish later in life” is a point in its favor or against it is up for debate, but roleplaying as and identifying with dragons DID improve my own mental health pretty heavily.

    1. Lol on the “dragon fetish”, but I am glad that it helped you, honestly. If you look at the posts about “the tales”, though, you’ll see just how bizarre people are (they were hunting me, lol). I honestly think they (and this other person with Blue) feel they need to explain to other people reading my post that this is an innocent children’s show which yeah, we know already. It’s just funny because I’m not (usually) serious and if I am I make a point of it early on. Still, her comment inspired a post, so I should thank her.

      I freaking love dragons, btw. Especially the giant ones that burn people alive. I want a dragon. 🙂

  3. Seems like someone missed the joke…

    1. Maybe she needs a big pawprint clue on her forehead. Great to see you! Hope you are doing as well as can be in these times as well.

      1. Are you saying she needs a….clue? Thank you, I’m here all week.

  4. Oh, I just, so much brain crazy, cannot articulate. . .

    If you think your child should learn from “Blue’s Clues,” and hey, my eldest just sent me something I’ll try to link to and said, I quote, “This is all the validation I need for the rest of my life,”—and she is in her fourth year of a five year engineering degree, still in love and doing long distance with her high school sweetheart, strong, socially conscious, creative, caring, crazy, and just objectively fucking amazing—where was I going with this? Oh yeah. If you think you child should learn from “Blue’s Clues,” then you need to learn from Neil deGrasse Tyson.

    Also, am I the only one who thinks the PBS Children’s Programming woman is way overtly sexual? To be clear, I am not throwing shade on her. Maybe it was the combination of Neil deGrasse Tyson and babymaking, or maybe just Neil deGrasse Tyson at all that got her going, because obviously he does that for me. Or maybe I saw something that wasn’t there. But she seemed like she was talking about PBS After Dark to me. Again, let me stress, she is a woman and she should own that. But does anyone else see it? (The link to what The Eldest formerly known as The Artist formerly know as Babygirl sent me. We bloggers really do give our offspring—or in my case, other people’s offspring—such great names.)

    Hi Alice! Good to hear from you!

    1. And obviously I got a little stuck on the original post because I somehow hadn’t seen it before (was it pre-50 Shades? I found you during that whole thing), and also just, yeah, this post my point was meant to be something like, ‘Marie and all of us should be as curious and wanting to learn as both Steve/Joe/Josh and Neil deGrasse Tyson.’ And I stand by that, as a high school dropout and a lifelong learner and just a human being. But I do know your blog is about humor so I didn’t want to go all serious. But I feel like after the absurd ramble above I can. 😉

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